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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Am I alone in finding this annoying

26 replies

Lou898 · 01/01/2020 23:43

My sons both crack their fingers, toes, neck, back. They know the sound absolutely grates on me but they continue to do it if though I ask them politely not to. They argue it’s the same as asking them not to scratch an itch. They even click their fingers to try and then tell me it’s not them cracking their fingers and its driving me nuts.
My eldest hates the sound of polystyrene and I went out of my way not to annoy him when putting away the decorations but he won’t afford me the same courtesy. I’ve a lot going on at the moment so might be being over sensitive.
AIBU.

OP posts:

MitziK · 02/01/2020 00:00

Hypermobile (EDS) and Psoriatic Arthritis sufferer here.

The first sign of problems as a kid was that I needed to crack multiple joints or I'd be in constant pain. I'd be asked, told, shouted at, informed by random adults that I'd 'get arthritis by 40' (I already fucking had it, you fucking twats, never mind the doctor who was awarded a Nobel Prize for showing it had absolutely no bearing upon the likelihood of osteoarthritis), but even now, with expensive medication, exercise, physio, etc, etc, not only can I not control multiple joints deciding to click, crunch or, as it feels like to me, explode when I move, there are also times daily where joints lock and the only way that pain and pressure/locking is relieved is to stretch the joint, causing it to pop.

So YABU. It's telling somebody that your aesthetic dislike of the sound is more important than their physical discomfort/pain.

ActualHornist · 02/01/2020 00:01

YABU I’m afraid. It is like an itch.

I have clicky finger joints, I lost a job because the interviewer thought I was continuously clicking a pen. I explained my joints just crack when I move and he said it would be ‘too distracting’. What a bellend.

Breastfeedingworries · 02/01/2020 00:03

YABU take them to speak to your gp.

Butchyrestingface · 02/01/2020 00:05

Well, YANBU to find it annoying but YWBU to try to do anything about it (what could you do?)

Original poster

Lou898 · 02/01/2020 00:09

It’s not them cracking as they move ...it’s them deliberately cracking them ...but not because they are in pain...just because in their words “it feels nice”
I was concerned about them causing damage but according to research it does not cause any hence I have not taken them to GP

OP posts:

reallyrandomwords · 02/01/2020 00:11

It does feel nice when you've done it- because it relieves the pain/tension/pressure of not doing it! Being unable to becomes agonising!

AndAnotherNameChanger · 02/01/2020 00:15

Nor is an itch pain. It doesn't mean it isn't uncomfortable not to scratch it.

For me it feels like pressure builds up in the joint such that it feels like the joint isn't sitting correctly. The only way to get it back into the right position is to crack it.

Yabu.

WatchOutLurkerAbout · 02/01/2020 00:18

Sorry YABU I hate that sound but I get this in one of my middle fingers and left ankle in particular. It builds like pressure. And builds and builds and eventually feels like it's swollen and painful unless I click it then back to normal. Sorry!

Besidesthepoint · 02/01/2020 00:21

Can't you teach them to go do it in the bathroom? I mean, scratching an itch is nice but if it's your butt then you go do it in private too, right?

Disquieted1 · 02/01/2020 00:23

They know that the noise grates with you (as it would with me) and should show a little consideration.
They don't release farts in front of you do they? Of course not. They find a discreet place to relieve that discomfort.

katewhinesalot · 02/01/2020 00:24

I didn't realise this is an actual need

You learn something new every day here.

Schoolinfoplease2020 · 02/01/2020 00:24

You should hear me doing my neck

I’m going to end up like that woman who had a stroke doing hers.

Cannot stand my partner doing his knuckles though and for some reason I hate it even more because he does it one handed, uses his thumb to crack the knuckles on the same hand. Eww eww eww. And his toes! Just sort of folds them under his foot. YUCKKKKKK!!!

chamenanged · 02/01/2020 00:26

They don't release farts in front of you do they? Of course not. They find a discreet place to relieve that discomfort.

Have you ever met a boy?

Spacerader · 02/01/2020 00:29

Yabu, quietly packing away something to not annoy someone is completely different. My dp clicks absloutely every bone in his body multiple times a day, he says that if he just left it its uncomfortable and feels better when it's done.

I can't relate at all because I hate clicking my bones, but I understand why he does it as I know a few people who are the same, my ds also does but normally only his back and fingers.

Sparklfairy · 02/01/2020 00:30

Another guilty cracker here. I have to crack my own back and shoulders several times a day, on bad days the popping can go all the way down my spine

I also used to do my wrists and pelvis! Massive clonky pops. It starts like an itchy pressure but does become painful if you don't relieve it. Sorry OP. It does sound about like your DC do it to wind you up a bit as well though

Davros · 02/01/2020 00:31

It's a teenage thing, lots of them do it including my DD. I hate it

Weffiepops · 02/01/2020 00:32

I hate this sound too, YANBU

bettybattenburg · 02/01/2020 00:33

Omg yes, it's got to be the most annoying thing ever.

Original poster

Lou898 · 02/01/2020 00:36

Looks like I’ll have to become a little more tolerant but it’s not easy as it sets my teeth on edge ...a bit like someone scraping a fork down a plate but I’ll try

OP posts:

MotherForkinShirtBalls · 02/01/2020 00:36

I used to have to crack my knuckles multiple times a day. A friend who is a doctor heard me and suggested trying cod liver oil. I take one capsule daily when I remember and now I very rarely need to crack them.

Original poster

Lou898 · 02/01/2020 00:38

Oh as I was typing my last response I got some written support! Yay!

The vote is in my favour but was a silent support.

OP posts:

starfishmummy · 02/01/2020 00:38

If they are actually deliberately doing, it then Yanbu because they could move to another room to do it.

If the joints crack when they move and they cant control it then yabu.

BlueRussianCat · 02/01/2020 00:41

They should go and do it in another room. I am unable to burp naturally, sometimes I get bloating pain and nausea just because of all the trapped air, I don't stick my fingers down my throat to trigger a release in the front room while people are there. I go to the bathroom and do it in private. Just cos it relieves me doesn't make it OK to do.

I also rip the skin off my lips. Have done since a child. Feels good. I get frustrated knowing there is skin there and feel a compulsion to pick. And all over my arms! Excoriation disorder/dermatillomania. But if someone asked me to stop cos it made them uncomfortable watching, I would just go to another room and carry on to my heart's content.

Campurp · 02/01/2020 01:09

Force them to take Cod Liver Oil LIQUID each morning as you’re ‘so concerned’ about their frequent need to click their joints.
You’ll soon find out whether they’re doing it to annoy you or it’s genuine.

bettybattenburg · 02/01/2020 01:16

Cod liver oil
I used to crack my fingers when I was a teen, I liked the noise or feeling expect as I had no health issues. That or I was just an irritating little shit

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