Alexa and the bastard lightbulbs

[fuckingalexa]

DH has recently fitted smart lightbulbs to our lounge and bedroom.

I fucking hate them. I just want to be able to switch the light on and you know, have light! But no, these apparently smart bulbs that are linked to Alexa mean me shouting across the room for her to turn them on. She may turn it on if she hears ok, or she may not. Then when she does, the last time it was on was clearly when one of the dc had turned it green so Im trying to see what I'm doing in a fucking green room. Tell her to change the colour and then adjust the brightness about twenty times before giving in and sitting in the pigging green room.
It would've been much easier to press the fucking switch.
Am I being unreasonable to want a normal light?!!

Has the world gone f**ing mad? shouting at an inanimate object to turn the lights on and off? Just FLICK THE SWITCH!! (I have an Alexa who controls my lamp, but that is because the on off switch is behind the settee and I would have to move it every time I wanted it on or off)

God I'm never getting one of these. I have days where I don't want to talk to people never mind a friggin machine to turn a light on.

I need to get better names for the appliances and bulbs. Was a bit pissed when I asked dh what to call the bulb in our bedroom. He said big bollocks and so it was. But she keeps replying to instructions, 'did you mean big bollocks? Yes. Yes I did Alexa.

Also, when I make a long angry announcement & she doesn't announce it, my 2nd announcement just sounds more weary and dc are less scared than they should be!

Yeah yeah, and do your washing by smashing them against stones in the river while you're at it.

Shouting at them works okay here because EVERYONE HAS DONE THE ALEXA "RECOGNISE MY PRONUNCIATION" TRAINING and you should too if she can't understand you, but the real joy is the motion sensors.

Voice training is in the alexa app, Settings > Alexa Account > Recognized Voices. Go do it now, takes two minutes, and stop moaning about her ignoring you.

My son has throughout his new flat. They cost a fortune but it's really funky! He's in an attic type flat with a mezzanine area and lots of roof angles. Most of his lights are recessed and he controls all the Philips Hue bulbs with his phone.

The hue bulbs are good and I'm going to get some more of those. The hue app is fine for controlling them through your phone. The Alexa hue skill is pretty crap though.

I did get the Alexa to control my Sky box, which was fun for a few minutes, but I'm a geeky programmer and wanted to see how hard it was to do. It's kind of pointless now with Sky Q as you can talk into the remote.