Flummoxed with dd3

[Octopuscrazy]

Posting on aibu for traffic.
I'm at my wits end dealing with my dd. She's 3 and every day there's a new drama usually at bedtime. For the past few days it's been 'my mouth hurts' screaming and crying. I took her to the dentist on Monday who said there's nothing wrong with her mouth or teeth.
Since Monday she's been fine but tonight she's started it all up again.
I don't know how to deal with this.
I've tried giving her lots of attention and hugs and magic mummy kisses but I honestly don't know what to do.
I don't want to over indulge her and encourage this kind of behaviour so I'm looking for some advice and ideas how to deal with this.
No trolls please.
Thank you

Is it still her mouth?
If so I would suspect there is something wrong - maybe see a doctor or at least a pharmacist. Could it be something near her mouth? Or something in her throat? Something to do with something she's eaten?

When does she eat? What has she eaten? Is there anything different about Monday to today? Did she not eat something she usually does? Could it be an allergy?
I'd be tempted to keep a food diary, and not down anything else that could be relevant.

Sore throat?

It's definitely her mouth. Not her throat.
The things that rings alarm bells for me are

• it's always around bedtime

-she hasn't eaten anything new or unusual

• it's in a different part of her mouth everytime

-I've offered her medicine and she refuses to take it (except calpol which she likes)

See all those things would do the opposite of ring alarm bells for me. I think she’s probably just playing up because she doesn’t want to go to bed and has found something to run with.

She’s 3, she’s learnt that this is something you can do to cause a fuss! I’d ignore it tbh.

New toothpaste or toothbrush? Both have caused nighttime issues in the past for my dd2 (toothpaste too minty and burning her mouth usually in the spot she first brushed, and a new toothbrush being too hard and hurting her gums)

Well if you are sure there is nothing physical - and I once persuaded my son that there was nothing wrong when he had an abscess - so be careful.
Then try to find out why she is upset. And do think about the bedtime routine when she didn't make a fuss. Does she have worries? Is she becoming scared of something?
You could try breathing exercises, restful music, even story "tapes".
Whatever anyone might say she won't have started this to "manipulate" you - there will be something. Although once started it might be prolonged if she is getting lots of positive attention - but then the best way to counter that is lots of positive attention without the drama, and when the drama has stopped you can calm things down.

Has she has her ears and throat checked by the doctor?

Does she still have a nap? We dropped DD’s nap at 2.5 due to difficult bedtimes. Poof! Problem solved.

Well it sounds like she just wants to stay up !

What about pain the rest of the time ? Nothing at all ?

Definitely mouth, not potential ear infection or something else where the pain is significantly more when laying on back?

When I said alarm bells I meant alarm bells that this is attention seeking behaviour.
We have dropped her nap recently so she's not napping throughout the day.
How can i avoid potentiating the attention seeking behaviour is my main concern and how to break the cycle of crying with physical symptoms to get attention.
I don't think it's anything physical. Like I said she's had her mouth checked. She hasnt complained of any ear or throat pain.

Also no pain throughout the day. This seems to almost exclusively come on around bedtime

She's over tired. Try starting bedtime a half an hour earlier.

When I said alarm bells I meant alarm bells that this is attention seeking behaviour.
It could be. On the other hand she may have real issues, that come to the surface at bedtime.
In either case, starting bedtime 1/2 hour earlier and giving lots of attention, and see if this can stop the drama. Then when you've stopped the drama, gradually reducing the attention - could work.

But also if it doesn't happen some night - what is different those nights? Has someone else had something wrong with their mouth? Did something occur before the first time?

If there’s definitely no physical issue, perhaps it should just be placed with the more classic bedtime maladies. I’m thirsty! I’m scared! I need a wee! I need a cuddle! I can’t find my teddy! I forgot to say goodnight to the spider on the kitchen ceiling!