To ask how you change your mindset when it comes to money

[isitjustmine]

Really looking to change my financial situation this year but I'm really struggling with actually changing my mindset when it comes to spending.

The temptation to spend is ridiculous and I have no self control whatsoever. Can't ever seem to say no to a takeaway, a meal out, clothes, other treats etc.

AIBU to ask how to change? It seems impossible

F

If you decide you "need" something frivolous (ie not food or bills) sit on it for a week. Then if you still "need" it find it and put it in an online basket but don't buy it - sit on it for another week. If after that you still need it then you buy it. Gets over the instant gratification of shopping! This is something I need to start up again!!

Stop browsing online, Ebay etc

Weeeeellll that's not a rule for everything.

I buy a lot of things from ebay because they are a lot cheaper than high street. I am also not distracted by other things in the shop, or a neighbouring shop that I pass etc; plus no transport or parking costs. The business sellers have lower overheads and can offer better prices; and I often get a bargain from personal sellers offloading unwanted items too.

I also actively save money by being organised and ordering in time to allow for shipping from overseas. For example I bought some fancy hair clips and decorations. Buying here would have been about £30, but from ebay, £5ish.

@isitjustmine Dave Ramsey Show app is available on Android and iOS.

You can listen via webbrowser:
daveramsey.ramsey.libsynpro.com/

Also on YouTube and Spotify.

If you are going to follow the Dave Ramsey plan then getting the book helps: j.mp/TMMOUK

Though you can find enough info online, www.daveramsey.com and there are unofficial Facebook groups created by people following the plan in the UK.

Watching with interest- great suggestions on his thread!

Until 2 years ago I was useless with money, I spent every penny I had coming in & frequently had at least a week every month when I had no money at all. I decided I wanted to move house, I'm in social housing & got myself back on the waiting list so I could bid for something that would be suitable for both mine & ds's disabilities. I started to try & save some money towards moving, I knew I needed new furniture, removal expenses, decorating, carpets & curtains. Over the space of 2 years I have managed to save £6k by having a vision of what I wanted, I'm on benefits & can't have more than £6k in the bank without reducing what I have coming in, I have now started buying things ready for when I find a new home but maintaining the stash I have in the bank, I have started to buy things like new bedding, towels, new pots & cookware, I haven't used any of them, they are still all packaged up ready for our new home, I have replaced my microwave which died of old age, my halogen oven which I use every day & other kitchen items, I am planning on buying new duvets & pillows in the sales this month. I have started to use the nectar app to try to only buy from shops that give nectar points when I shop online, I am saving all the points from nectar, Morrison's & Boots to be able to buy luxury items when I move, I have nearly £200 in points saved in the last year, I spend time looking online at where I can buy things cheapest with the biggest loyalty points, I also overpay on my rent, utilities etc so I can reclaim the cash when I am close to moving because I can't have more than £6k in the bank. I am doing the 365 day challenged this year where you save £28 a week, £1 on Sunday, £3 on Monday & so on to £7 on a Saturday, I have a jar that I am saving it in. As well as saving, I have managed to pay £700 for ds to go on a school trip to Italy this year, I would never have been able to manage to afford this before. This may sound mad but by learning to save I actually have more money to spend, I am richer every month & if I want or need something I have the money to be able to pay for it, but I don't spend money on rubbish, I have stopped wasting money, we eat well, I buy good quality food instead of having to manage to feed us on processed rubbish food from Farmfoods each week, I buy good quality meat, fish & vegetables & keep a good store cupboard of staple ingredients & my freezer has a good range of food so I can cook nice meals, I batch cook at least a couple of times a week instead of buying ready meals. The best way to start saving is to stop thinking of money as something you have to get rid of every month, make money your friend & look after it, I use Martin Lewis's Moneysavingexpert.com, look to see if there is anything you can reclaim & get his email every week, there is a load of savings on there every week, plus he gives excellent advice on how to manage your money better & make it go further.

I only spend what I need to.
I don't budget, what I don't spend I save.

Focus on your impulse control. Think twice about whether you actually need something. Plan bigger purchases. If you decide you need a new pair of shoes for instance, take your time, shop around, wait a week or two before buying.
Don't visit shops for recerational purposes.
If you are bored go for a walk, a swim, visit a friend.
Keep food in your fride and freezer so you have ingredients to cook a nutritious eal easily.

Living a simple frugal life can be very freeing. Our homes are not full of clutter, our stress is reduced.
There are some lovely uplifting videos on living a smpler life free of stuff, but very rich in other ways. I like these at the moment.

Very calming to watch, and also explains how happy your life can be without " stuff".

It really does change your life OP. I've changed my financial habits drastically and it is the one thing that has had the biggest impact on my mental health.

You really do get a buzz from being in control of it.

My biggest mistake used to be spending with gay abandon as soon as I got paid then scratting around towards the end of the month "managing" until the next pay day.

Such a vicious cycle. Come next pay day, you get access to all that money again and what do you do? Spend it all again of course!

The secret for me has been completely turning that way of thinking on it's head.

As soon as I get paid, I put every single penny into savings accounts. Then each day I transfer exactly the amount I will need for that day. So If I am doing a food shop, I guess roughly how much I will need.

If I am then out and tempted by something and (this is important) AFTER asking myself "do I want this or do I need it?" (massive difference) I still can't buy it because I don't have the money to hand to spend anyway.

Then when I get back home, every single penny that is left over from that day's "guesstimate" is transferred straight back into the savings, even if it is only 50p and the whole process starts again the day after.

It sounds like a pain in the arse but it honestly does work and really makes you focus on what you are frittering your money on.

Also for me, I find it more encouraging if there is a large amount in the savings to start off with rather than say £10. You do tend to think "oh well it's only a tenner, it will take me forever to save anything so are less likely to be as committed.

It hurts a hell of a lot more to look at say £300 and consider taking anything out for non essentials.

I never thought I could change but if I can do it anyone can, honestly.

Good luck!

I have to account for every penny OP, not because we are poor, although we are just holding our heads above water, but because I like the odd treat.
My motto is don't buy unless you need it. I have no amazing tips, but in shifting from spending to saving we are so much better off financially. I didn't plan to, but I get the same hit/high from saving 20p here and there than I ever got just buying without thinking.

Today I have shopping to do, I'll go in several shops for the items on my list to save for a treat.

Oh, one tip is to take out cash each week, rather than using your card.
If you take out just what you need you can't over spend.

The temptation to spend is ridiculous and I have no self control whatsoever.
Do you have self control in other areas of your life? If so, then you can exert self control in this area. You just need to want to enough to do so.

Can't ever seem to say no to a takeaway, a meal out, clothes, other treats etc.
You need to examine the reason behind your behaviour. Why do you need the feel good effect of treating yourself whether it is to good or clothing etc. Is it to do with low self-esteem? If so, I'd suggest a course or counselling to increase self confidence and self esteem. You are right. It is your mindset that needs to change. If you don't get to the bottom of your current behaviour, how can you expect to change it?

Having a vision made me have control over my spending, I know that unless I save some money I can't afford to move house, so I have forced myself to change. I'm terrified of what will happen once I have moved & spent what I have saved & have to start again to build up my savings.

Do you think you are an impulse buyer ? From what your saying I think you will say yes.
About 5/6 years ago I had a big problem with buying clothes. Did it 2 or 3 times a week. Clothes would stay in the bag for weeks and I still have stuff from back then with labels still attached.
I stopped by stopping going shopping , I was using it as a form of entertainment , a thrill .
When I did go , I told myself I could try on clothes, then had to walk away and wait at least a day before going back to buy.
8 times out of ten I did not buy . I realised it was impulsive, a thrill of the moment.
These days I buy because I need it . Even make up , skin care etc , I ponder the purchase for a day or two before I will go out and get .

Not rtfs so sorry if this has been said already - when I was in that situation I paid for everything in cash so I could see the,money going out. It’s not as easy to notice what you’ve spent if you use a card.

Some spend thrift people on Facebook are doing the #100dayfrugalchallenge

forums.moneysavingexpert.com/showthread.php?t=6075707

Yes. Literally don't go shopping. That works for me too.

I think a few posters have hit te nail on the head.

Using shopping as a form of entertainment will cause problems to those with bad buying control.

Only visit shops if you need things.

Browsing or window shopping will lead to buying stuff you don't need.
Find other ways to fill your time.
If you feel the need to splurge visit a charity shop. Independant charity shops are very inexpansive, I have two near me, most clothing items are £1.