To be hurt by this

[Jemima89]

Or am I overreacting? Today I was texting someone I consider a friend, (I met her at our DC's school) asking her what she's up to. She tells me she's been out but is not doing anything for the rest of the day. I tell her I'm going somewhere with my kids ( I won't say where as friend is on MN). I get to the place and another mum from the school is already there, waiting in a car outside. Next thing, my friend turns up and it's obvious they've arranged to meet.
Friend comes over and seems a bit off with me, she says " sorry we stole your idea to come here". Then goes over to the other mum and ignores me.
The other school mum doesn't speak to me. Our DCs are in the same class but she's never spoke to me. Aibu to be a bit hurt over this.I considered her a god friend, we speak a lot on text throughout the day and have met up a few times, but not since she's became friends with this other mum
There was also a small party for the kids my friend did and we weren't invited to that, but then told me afterwards.

You are using the word 'friend' when she isn't one.
Sorry op.

So I don't drip feed, there's a group of mums she's become closer to through their kids. She knows that this group of women don't like me and have isolated me and make me feel uncomfortable at the school
I'm not expecting her to not be friends with them because of me, but I don't like the way she brings them up in conversation all the time when she knows how they make me feel. The woman she met up with today is part of this group.

She's not a friend. Start to cut down the texting, make it very bland, gradually drop to nothing. Meanwhile, work on making friends with women who aren't part of this group. Just blank the group.

Yanbu. That was incredibly rude of her. They should have invited you to join them as they are supposed to be grown women and not school cliques

YANBU what an odd thing to do. She sounds like a nasty social climber. She knowingly turned up to the same place then ignored you?

She isn't a friend, and if I were you I'd be cutting back on any contact. She is acting like a teenager desperate to get in with the "in crowd" at school. Pathetic.

What buttery said. This is such unkind, juvenile behaviour from her; you're well rid.

I'd just cut contact if I were you. You deserve better.

Thanks for these replies. I feel it's childish and petty but it did hurt me. I find it hard to make friends as I don't have much of a social life with having all my kids, and I'm quite a quiet person anyway. She's also similar to me and I thought I'd found a good mate, but now it seems as though she wants to be part of a group and if she's going to be close friends with these women I can't see how our friendship can continue.

YANBU. I can't stand that sort of deceit and meanness.
I wouldn't bother making an effort with her again.

They all sound awful people. They clearly have nothing better to do with their time to get so invested in another mum at the school gates. What grown woman can't possibly talk to another grown woman? It's all really pathetic behaviour on their part.

They aren't worth your time. Your 'friend' has been really cruel, don't give her the satisfaction of hurting you.

Its not childish and petty to be hurt

She knew you were going to be there. And then she blanked you. Her behaviour was intended to put you down and hurt you. Of course you are going to be hurt by that!

I don't understand why she couldn't have said " I'm going with , I'll see you there. It was just odd when she casually turned up.

She is not your friend.

Really not a friend, nowhere near even human! Blank her just walk past her like she's a stranger, don't get in a discussion about it she will target you to build up her standing with these bitches. Next block her on everything phone Facebook Twitter email group wherever avoid her she too immature for you to waste your time on her. If you get a tough time on the school site report to the head as this is not to be tolerated. Finally be kind to yourself this is not the type of friendship you deserve you deserve more so don't settle for this.

I'm so sorry, it's very upsetting to be rejected. Your friend for whatever reason wants to broaden her friendship group. Focus on making friends outside of the cliquey school mums. Adopt, the brisk hello how's things approach, be friendly without hoping for friendship. I'm in my fifties now and had some of this back in the day, it's like being back at school yourself wondering who will talk to you etc. Work on your self esteem, there's some great talks on YouTube. I love Leo on Actualized.org he has a lot of talks and tips about how to stop caring what people think of you. Still text your friend, but keep it short and sweet, if she texts back fine, if she doesn't, that's fine too.

Maybe she doesn’t like you.

@Vikingess

Then she wouldn't be texting OP all the time would she? It's also perfectly possible to dislike someone without being rude to them. Sounds more like she likes OP fine but is a bit of a social climber and doesn't want to upset her new cliquey mates.

If she doesn't like me it's not a problem, but I can't stand 2 faced behaviour. I think I am a genuine person and I thought she was too but it's clear to me now that she's not.