AIBU adopted and want to want to know my medical background?

[ClairesKimono]

I was adopted in the early '70s as a three month old. As I age, I think more about health issues and would really like to know about my birth parents and their medical histories in case there is anything I need to be aware of.

Has anyone on here been in this position? How did you go about it as rules seems to be different pre 1975. Did you use an intermediary?

I am conflicted though. I do not really want to know them as such - just need the info. Is that unreasonable of me?

I don't think that any medical records would be updated post adoption, so if your df/dm developed heart disease for e.g. I can't imagine it being information you'd be privvy to even now.

Just finding out their names could be a start, so that you can google them and look on the likes of ancestry.com to see if they're still alive I suppose? Do you think that is what you're actually more interested in knowing?

Different situation but I grew up not knowing my paternal family. I hated not knowing when asked about relevant history at somewhere like the opticians.

Having met them in adulthood, it has been worth knowing about some neurodivergences rife through my family and it has been useful evidence in getting diagnoses for my DC.

I can't offer practical advice, but I understand an urge to know pragmatic details about your background.

Who were you adopted through. If it was like Benardos. I would go to them. Good luck on your quest. It may hurt your parents but it really shouldn,t ofcourse you want to know your routes we all do. Good luck on your quest. Citizens advice may even be able to able you.

Thank you all for your help. I do appreciate it. I shall post on the adoption board.

And shedidn't you could be right. I will take it all very slowly though as am not really sure what I else I want to know apart from the health side of things.

I was adopted at birth in the 70s and always wanted to trace my family. I did so easily through the agency that adopted me, but it was not plain sailing after that. I did find out that my birth mother had breast cancer at a young age. I asked about it at my GP and wasn’t allowed any genetic testing because it was only one family member.. Since then though I have been charged massive amounts for health and critical illness cover for my mortgages because it’s on my medical record. At the minute we pay £300 a month!! I also don’t think that knowing I may be at risk has helped me. I haven’t altered my lifestyle to mitigate the risk, and consider breast cancer to be inevitable. I worry about my daughters. I was in my birth Mums life for a while but that too was difficult. I feelings towards her were not that of a daughter, and it upset her, and my contact with her hurt my adopted family, and her own children. I did meet my full biological brother. We are friendly but not close. All in all, be careful before you open Pandora’s box OP.

Spudina thank you. Your story sounds difficult to deal with and complicated with ripples running through both families. I hear you about the knowledge of a potential illness not always being a postive.