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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think we shouldn’t have had to pay?

316 replies

MamToTeens · 31/12/2019 20:57

Took DH, 2 DC and BIL out for lunch today. After ordering, it took 10 minutes for the drinks to come (not too long considering, but they were literally cans that we could see from the table). We then had to wait another hour and a half for food! There were 2 cooked meals and 3 sandwiches. The cooked meals were burned and the bread was stale, basically inedible. We are a bit but couldn’t manage much. We were then told that it was cash only, even though it hadn’t been clearly advertised (argument was that it was on the door, which was open so we couldn’t see the sign). It was around £60 for the 5 of us, so I couldn’t afford it with cash. We walked out without paying and they threatened to call the police. Haven’t heard anything yet. AIBU to have refused to pay? And will they be able to do anything when they don’t have names or anything?

OP posts:
ChaosisntapitChaosisaladder19 · 02/01/2020 22:29

I smell BS you're changing the native to suit after the responses you got. You're still a disgrace.

Freddiefatpants · 02/01/2020 22:35

When we spoke to the manager she was also rude to us.

Standard response to being told you've been a twat in any kind of service place "The staff were rude" to justify it.
It's getting old.

judithandholofernes · 02/01/2020 22:38

I think you were right not to pay.

We had lunch out in a busy American style diner. They told us when we sat down that there was a 30 min wait, which was fine. After 30 mins they served our starters and mains together. I asked for the mains to be sent back while we ate our starters. When these were finished the waiter brought our mains to us. They had clearly been sitting under the heat lamp the whole time. The mayonnaise was warm and all congealed Confused it turned my stomach. I went up to the desk and said we were leaving, I was presented with the bill for all the food which really annoyed me. I said I wasn’t paying for the food as it was still on the table untouched. The manager was genuinely shocked that I was refusing to pay for the mains so let me away with the whole meal costs. Which I think was right. The food was disgusting, service was shite and then I felt sick for the rest of the night with the image of warm, yellow, guey garlic mayo...

WotchaTalkinBoutWillis · 02/01/2020 22:47

I asked for the mains to be sent back while we ate our starters. When these were finished the waiter brought our mains to us. They had clearly been sitting under the heat lamp the whole time. The mayonnaise was warm and all congealed

They cooked your mains. Brought it out to you and you decided you didn't want it yet and sent it back.
What were you expecting them to do with it in the meantime as you all sat eating your starters, did you expect them to bin the lot and make a fresh lot of dinners up for you?
Seems wasteful.
Massive cheeky fuckery not to pay.

Rosebel · 02/01/2020 22:54

Well your story has changed so not sure what to believe. You know you were wrong and are just pleased you got away with it. It's not a good example to set to the children is it?
You've taught them it's fine to steal if you want. Your whole attitude is shocking.

anothernamejeeves · 02/01/2020 23:09

@judithandholofernes Ed's diner by any chance?

AFemale · 02/01/2020 23:13

Best ever drip feed.

Also LOL at the idea cash is an obsolete payment method. An increasing amount of people don't carry cash and prefer to pay with debit card only (I'm one of them) but cash is still accepted in most, if not all places shops, bars and resteraunts, Sterling isn't a digital only current just yet.

There's many small businesses and stores that don't take cards, the two cafes in my town, the local sandwich shop and the local Chinese takeaway are cash only here, if I don't have cash on me I check before ordering if it's somewhere I've never been before, that they accept debit cards, esp in small villages.

FelicisNox · 02/01/2020 23:19

At least you paid for the drinks.

I can see why you did what you did but it's really not acceptable.

Go back to the pub, ask to speak to the manager, explain what happened and come to a suitable arrangement re: payment for what you did eat.

If they have you on CCTV they could easily report you for theft.

liann81 · 03/01/2020 00:34

Great example you are showing your kids . Hey kids the food is crap so guess what ? We dont have to pay for it.

howrudeforme · 03/01/2020 01:25

@Silverservice1011 - get that.

Ex has a restaurant and some of the scams they have from ‘customers’ are unbelievable. The vast majority of people are fine - but there are definitely some people who get off on trying to get a free meal regularly. Their name gets ‘round.

What do you do?

I’ve seen an increase in eateries that don’t accept cash.

GiveHerHellFromUs · 03/01/2020 06:48

What a bullshit drip feed.

For future reference, if a cafe is the only cafe open in a seaside town, the fact it's busy doesn't make it good.

It's busy because it's the only cafe open in a seaside town...

Mummyoflittledragon · 03/01/2020 07:11

Thief

Moondancer73 · 03/01/2020 07:31

You've changed what you said - first off you said an hour sand a half for food, now it's closer to two hours, and the manageress is rude as well? I think you need to get your ducks in a row here to be honest ..

KatherineJaneway · 03/01/2020 07:34

Lol at the drip feed. Wrote that as soon as you figured out the Mail had picked it up I bet.

jillybeanclevertips · 03/01/2020 08:02

Seems fair to me, you paid for the drinks you had, and as the meal was not edible, I think you have the right not to pay for it. If you bought an electrical item which didn't work you'd rightly ask for your money back.
Good for you for sticking up for your rights. Shame on the eatery,

GrannyBags · 03/01/2020 08:17

That ‘update’ is very different from the impression you gave in your OP. I wish we could hear this tale from the managers point of view.

Linetogilly · 03/01/2020 09:11

Lol still a thief

GiveHerHellFromUs · 03/01/2020 09:14

@GrannyBags why probably will soon when she sees the article online Grin

Silverservice1011 · 03/01/2020 10:15

@howrudeforme well not a lot you can do apart from bar them. If we had been open for longer we would have probably threatened the police. Although they don't care. This is our 3rd restaurant. We had someone assault a staff member. They never turned up but called 2 weeks later asking if everything was ok! But when we had a counterfeit £50 note they were there in 10 minutes Hmm

Tistheseason17 · 03/01/2020 10:19

Hope DM involvement gets OP to pay up! CF.

WombatChocolate · 03/01/2020 10:39

OP is just interested in whether she will be in trouble for this, not the rights and wrongs of it. The fact she lives miles away means she probably will get away with it.....which is what is important to her, not whether it was morally right to do it.

We all know that if you have poor service and food, you don't just leave bit discuss the issue and negotiate a reduction or zero bill - it is not for the customer to just exit. Those who dine and run have often planned to do it beforehand - knowingly having insufficient funds for any or all of the meal. They make a bit of a fuss about spurious things, exaggerating the wait time or food quality issue but still manage to eat most of it, before exiting in either a high and mighty way making a scene, or running away. It's hard to know if they delude themselves that they are justified in their actions or honestly know that they have quite simply stolen.

The thing with extreme CFery is that often people feel justified in their behaviour and by repeating their justification multiple times,mcomes to fully believe it themselves and reduce any shred of doubt that lies in their own minds.

Of course, if Op knew she were categorically in the right, she would have no worries about the owners shaming her, telling the police or finding her....because she would know she was fully justified in her actions and had carried them out correctly. She clearly knows she is in the wrong and to be honest, this thread is a bit of a boasting thread - Look how clever I am to avoid paying for my meal and Look how clever I am to irritate all those pious Mumnsetters and show I don't care about social norms and can do whatever I want.

I tend to feel a bit sorry for people who either genuinely feel entitled to carry out this kind of behaviour, or who get a kick out of annoying other people by disregarding social norms and feeling clever about it - their lives don't sound very successful or satisfying and you also wonder exactly what kind of future children in that kind of situation have in front of them.....but then those children are probably already becoming the nightmares in school and in a cycle for a similar adult life. These adults like to boast about scamming the system, but if that's the most you've got to boast about, it doesn't say a great deal really.

howrudeforme · 03/01/2020 10:41

@Silverservice1011 - blimey.

The customers exdh has tend to pay by card. When he first opened he had a problem with the payment machine (kept cutting out). One table started to take advantage by ordering more wine then saying they don’t carry cash so wouldn’t be paying. There was a cash point about 50 metres up the road.

However, machine then went back online as they were looking to leave without paying - they were pretty unhappy.

Amanlamp100 · 03/01/2020 10:57

How did you leave it with the waitress About the cash problem and the ATM issue or did you complain to the Restaurant manager, or were they busy and you left before They collected the bill? Hindsight is a wonderful thing, but perhaps you should have left at the drinks order.

Silverservice1011 · 03/01/2020 11:21

@howrudeforme the amount of CFS around is appalling. They eat and drink then don't want to pay the price. And we are cheap for the area. The prices are not hidden. They are on the menu sat on their table and also online. The area we are in seems to be very different to our other locations. Reviews look amazing then only give 3 stars! For example. "Food was delicious, lovely atmosphere, great price, friendly staff. Will be back! Giving 3 stars but should be 3.5!" Out of a possible 5. Do everything is great but not good enough for a good rating but won't say what we could have done better! Sometimes I think customers want their food served on a plate of gold that they can keep!

We had a blogger come, she said I will write about how amazing every thing is. So of course to say thank you we have her main meal for free as we didn't ask her to come. She did it off her own back. But we try to be fair and generous. She never wrote anything on her blog or left a review. And had gone away on holiday. Not even a bad one. She cleared her plate, drank wine and had dessert. We thought maybe she would do it when she was back but no. It's been 3 months. Some people are just mean and don't realise it's verging on impossible to survive running a business.