To ask what you do instead of Christmas presents?

[Sunsetsunrise1527]

We had 31 people to buy presents for this year. Ridiculous. Two sets of divorced parents.

I need an alternative I can pitch to our families that won't lead to accusations of meanness. We haven't got kids yet. One DN. Everyone else is over 18. I just can't face the expense and waste for next year. Admittedly because we were asked to send a list I did get what I wanted off my own family but my in laws don't do lists and just buy general crap for everyone that I'm planning on donating to tombolas.

Is it groups of people? Secret Santa works well, we do a £25 limit, something to eat/drink, wear & do.

It is just family...just a massive amount of people. I might suggest that. As we earn the least out of everyone relative to the number of presents we have to do I'm not they'll go for it as they can afford the expense...

We just don't buy for adults unless they are child free. Do they live in family groups? Maybe a hamper type thing for each family

You could just tell them all that you will not be buying any presents at all due to cost/environmental impact/whatever, apart perhaps for DN, and ask that the rest of the family respect your wishes and don't buy you anything too. They will probably be grateful!

Goats

Say it's secret Santa or nothing for environmental and consumerism reasons.

Secret Santa is the easiest.
Wine.
We also do a family experience together that you all do - we do this and it works well. So much good family-friendly theatre in the December / January months.

We do food gifts only for adults. It works well.

Never EVER have my family bought for so many people separately.
Nice bottle of wine/vodka/rum to share amongst couple. Coffee/tea/hobby stuff depending on their SHARED interest.
Kids. Depends on age. Either little thing separately or do a family gift.
In my family you never did wrong with alcohol or food tbh.

"We won't buy for you if you don't buy for us". I love it when people offer that!

Card and a good quality box of chocolates or bottle of wine or similar consumable per household you visit.

We have a £10 limit on adults, and it’s supposed to be something that will actually get used by the recipient rather than something that hangs around to the next school fayre.

We also did groupon/itison vouchers so people could go out for a meal rather than ‘stuff’

I would try to get 31 people from multiple families into a Secret Santa - though you could try to pick off a family group?

I think I’d wait until late Jan, still with Xmas in mind and well before the next one, and be honest with people. Say that you found 31 a financial struggle (I bet most don’t realise you have that many) and a pressure to find the right thing - so you’re asking everyone how they’d feel about a mutual non present exchange in future.

If they're anything like me, they'd be relieved to hear "let's not buy for each other". I bloomin hate it. I buy for kids but have asked people not to buy for me because "I haven't the space or the money" I'd rather save my money for a new roof etc. Call me Grinch!

Secret Santa.

We opted for Secret Santa for the grownups when we started our families (I'm one of 5 children).
The youngest is now 18 so they just want cash and we've all agreed to drop the Secret Santa now, so I don't need to buy any presents - it's so stress-free

I do buy some nice (foodie) treats and maybe a board game but that's it

Do a secret Santa and if everyone is up for it and usually buys a similar amount then put a higher limit on it if agreed with everyone

We tried to take all the family out for dinner. It didn't end well, PIL were really pissed off that we paid and DH's siblings were simply not arsed at all, I think it's assumed that we'll pay now.

We opted for Secret Santa for the grownups when we started our families (I'm one of 5 children).

As we have so many divorced parents the age gap is huge - we are the only couple who are likely to produce any kids any time soon. The younger siblings are 18, the older ones are 35 and long-term bachelors who aren't dating at all. DN was unexpected due to the family member's fertility issues (drug usage) and is likely to remain an only child.

I think I'll probably follow the suggestions above. If they'll go for Secret Santa that would be great but I expect they won't be keen as we are going to be the only ones requesting it. I'm happy to buy for kids but all the adults is just overkill!

If they are buying the same amount of presents, 31 I think you will be surprised at the welcome your suggestion will get. I would float it now whilst the expense and effort is still fresh in the memory. A reminder nearer the time too. If no one goes for it - say it's a pity but you are no longer buying for extended family and no longer expect gifts. I have seen some CF's on this board who announce they are.no doing presents but still go home with a haul.

We do presents for 14 kids under the age of 14. For adults on DH side there are 15 or 16 of us and we do a round Robin charity donation. You donate to your secret santas chosen charity. Most of us aren't loaded so donated amount is usually £30.

It's a nice way of finding out what charities are important to other people. I'd rather not have any gifts this way, than go home with a random gift set from Boots or other niknaks that I wouldn't use.

We all go out for a meal at the end of November/ beginning December. The money we would spend on presents we put towards the meal. Although if someone just wants to come and not eat that’s fine too. Takes the stress out of present buying and means we all spend time together which doesn’t happen often as we don’t all live near to each other

Should add we do presents for u18s but only have 4 little ones compared to 15 adults.