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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DH making a mess

20 replies

grinchygrinch · 31/12/2019 12:12

Getting so pissed off.

Hosting 20 family members tonight tonight, have spent days cleaning and tidying, arranging guest bedrooms etc.

He is literally walking along behind me making a mess.

I don’t know if he knows he’s doing it but i want to kill him.

Doesn’t help that we have young kids that also make a mess.

Make slime with the kids on the bedding I’ve just washed and cleaned? Why the fuck not, aye? Those towels I’ve also just washed and folded for guests, yes why not use them today instead of your normal towel that you use every other day of the year?

Oh and yes bring the muddy scooters inside please DH, that’s great.

Needed to vent. Feel better now. Anyone else’s ‘d’h on the hit list today?

OP posts:

GinDaddy · 31/12/2019 12:17

"I don’t know if he knows he’s doing it but i want to kill him"

Have you spoken to him directly yet?

WorraLiberty · 31/12/2019 12:18

Why are you doing it all?

Original poster

grinchygrinch · 31/12/2019 12:21

Yes! He says I can’t expect it to be clean when we have kids and that he’s not doing it on purpose.

I’m doing it while he ‘watches’ the kids

OP posts:

WorraLiberty · 31/12/2019 12:23

How old are the kids?

If they're old enough for scooters, presumably they're old enough to watch a bit of TV while you both get on with it?

HappyintheHills · 31/12/2019 12:25

If watching the DC can’t be done without mess then he should go out with them.

CruCru · 31/12/2019 12:26

Seriously? He's making slime on bedding? That wouldn't be okay ever, regardless of whether you are about to have visitors.

TheFaerieQueene · 31/12/2019 12:27

I would put him out into the garden and lock the door. He can make his mess there. Filthy article.

Sh0na · 31/12/2019 12:27

I am not married but I have a 13 year old son.

You have to insist that they clean up the mess they made, focus on that, every time, so that they feel more conscious of the mess they make as they go along.

Point to the duvet case and tell him to change it to a clean one.

POint to the floor and get him to re clean it

Only way it sinks in when you're dealing with a 13 year old boy anyway.

BeanTownNancy · 31/12/2019 12:46

The kid-related stuff I wouldn't mind so much - at least he's engaging with them which is better than many many dads out there.

My husband being off work over Christmas has been doing my head in though - every time I walk into the kitchen it's a mess... Do you know how I know he opened a bottle of cider? Because the utensils drawer is open, the bottle opener is on the side and the bottle top is somewhere else on the side. Had some cheese and biscuits? Plate, knife, empty cheese packet, box of crackers, empty jar of pickles, the fork he used to fish out the pickles, crumbs, etc all over the side. Can't wait for him to go back to work...

SunshineAngel · 31/12/2019 12:47

Not today, but often.
Him and DSS are pains (more DSS to be fair) when it comes to leaving things lying around, and every time I blitz the living room you can guarantee it'll be filled full of crap again.
I don't even know how a boy who spends his entire life sitting using his phone can actually generate so much mess, as he doesn't do anything!

crustycrab · 31/12/2019 12:49

Annoying. Send him, the kids and the scooters out!

Junie70 · 31/12/2019 12:57

Lock them all outside until your visitors arrive.

And pass them a box of sandwiches through the cat flap.

WorraLiberty · 31/12/2019 13:07

The kid-related stuff I wouldn't mind so much - at least he's engaging with them which is better than many many dads out there.

That's a very low bar you're setting there.

Parent interacts with their own children? That doesn't make it ok to do stupid things like make slime on bedding.

MIdgebabe · 31/12/2019 13:10

Then get him to clean whilst you watch the kids? Show him how it's done?

notanotherjigsawpiece · 31/12/2019 13:14

My DH does this too. When I ask him to tidy up his mess he’ll say “later” or “when I have the time....”. Like you, it has been worse with us both being at home for the holidays.

I’ve started moving his stuff but I can’t bear looking at mess after I’ve tidied. Eg I spent hours tidying up our garden last week, only for him to leave a fresh pile of cigarette butts on the BBQ. I gathered them up, popped in a sandwich bag and put in his laptop case. Petty I know, but at least it’s not annoying me every time I look out the window!

thickwoollytights · 31/12/2019 13:37

Lock them all outside until your visitors arrive.
**
And pass them a box of sandwiches through the cat flap.

I love this so much. It made me properly cackle

ALLMYSmellySocks · 31/12/2019 13:42

Oh my god I thought I was a messy but slime making on a bed? Muddy scooters inside the house? Does he have no common sense?!

Owlypants · 31/12/2019 13:47

When mine "cleans" the kitchen i have to go in and do it properly when he's finished. I appreciate that he trys but i prefer the butter to be wiped off the worktop not smeared in and the crumbs go in the bin not down the gap between the units. The cupboard where the plates and bowls live is looks like some kind of jenga game, If I'm going for the messages he'll join me so he can fill the trolley with random shite we will never use. I love him but could happily strangle him

PickAChew · 31/12/2019 13:50

Definitely get him to clean up his own mess.

I have some cotton pillowcases that crease to buggery but do coe out of the dryer looking fairly respectable. Twice now I've given them to dh to iron. The first time, I found them very sloppily folded, so they may as well have been screwed up and jumped on. Second time, he left them in the dryer, along with a load of cotton polo shirts. I went ballistic when dh suggested it didn't matter because we have maadive amounts of laundry to do with teens with SN, as it is. I pointed out that it's easy tobe blasé about something that doesn't affect you and if he did it again, I would stop expecting him to handle anyone else's laundry but he would be doing all of his own.

LakieLady · 31/12/2019 13:59

I feel your pain, OP.

DP cannot so much as a tin of beans without getting splat all over the cooker, the worktop and often down the cupboard doors. Making a coffee involves sugar and coffee sprinkled on the worktop, and a sticky spoon left, unwashed, on the white draining board.

A shave and cleaning teeth leaves mouthwash shaving foam and bristles on the basin, and toothpaste on the outside of the basin. How is that even possible?

He cannot walk 3 paces to the bin, preferring to leave sweet wrappers, till receipts and other detritus on the kitchen table or bedside cabinet.

Why can't they just clear up after themselves, ffs?

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