To ask how you cope with workplace politics?

[malificent7]

Am starting a new hospital placement in January and im a bit scared i will say or do the wrong thing.
The last placement was good but a team member took a dislike to me and had a go at me...i degended myself and she told the manager who then told me off. I think ive learned not to be too friendly and trust too much at work but god it's depressing having to watch ones own back continuously. I have another 25 years of dealing with people at work and really im happiest at home in my own company.

Please forgive me but I don’t know what degended means and google was no help so can’t think of how to advise.

However, you do need to realise that at work, any environment, even though you prefer to be home in your own company, being friendly in the work place is needed to get along with colleagues and to fit in. That being said, you can simply be pleasant, be cordial, do your work and not be too personal or have friendships with work colleagues out of work to still have good work relationships and get in with colleagues.

It's a typo for "defended" innit.

im in a similar position, just moved from an office where everyone got on to an office where there is definitely office politics. I try not to get dragged into it and get on with everyone but im hoping to transfer out to another office where i know there is no atmosphere after a few years.

I worked in hospitals for years and they can be toxic, nasty places full of cliques and factions that all hate each other. I had one boss who turned against me because I had become friendly with a colleague who she didn't like.

However, I've also worked in wonderful, supportive environments where everyone pulled together and were friendly.

It's difficult to know which one you're going to get, so I suggest that the best thing to do is to keep your head down, get on with your job, be friendly and don't get drawn into the bitching. Good luck!

I think you just have to accept that not everyone is what they appear on their face and try not to react or respond to provocation in a way which would get you into trouble if an outsider witnessed it.

I feel for you. I’m a friendly and outgoing person and very honest. I’ve been blindsided a few times when colleagues have told out and out lies about me. My initial reaction was always to assume they had made a mistake and try to explain that to them but over time I’ve come to realise that people do make things up and lie outright to try to advance themselves and the best defence to that is to ensure that your other colleagues and your bosses have formed a sufficiently positive impression of you so that they will not believe lies without corroboration.

I do my work, smile at everyone and go home. Don’t get involved!

Oh it’s bloody hard isn’t it.
You are dealing a million different personalities with a million different issues.

I gravitate towards the friendly nice ones, I find “my people” similar sense of humour, this helps 100%.

I pretty much keep myself to mysel though, I’m uncomfortable in new situations so suss it all out for a long time before committing to friendships.

There’s always one though isn’t there. Always one that makes life uncomfortable, difficult, who is argumentative, opinionated, obstructive and a pain in the arse.
Avoid that one, don’t engage, smile sweetly while the voices in your head call them all kinds of nasties...

Also, chocolate and cake. All helps 😀

I don't fully agree with what @AdoreTheBeach says... I've had some terrible experiences with workplace politics (wont bore you haha) and IME, it is definitely not as simple as just being cordial and not having relationships with colleagues outside work. Implying it's that simple is ...almost... victim-blaming for those of us who have been burned by it! Of course it's good advice, dont let anyone get too close, but also OP I suggest that there's a huge amount of just bad luck involved. Sometimes your face doesn't fit and you are slaughtered. (It can be that you're too thin/fat/ethnic minority; too well-paid; too efficient; too popular/unpopular with the blokes; too unpopular with the women; too quiet; too chatty.) Sometimes you just can't win. When or hopefully before it gets to that stage, leave and hopefully get a higher salary somewhere else!

I guess if I do have any concrete advice, I'd say don't get emotionally attached to any job or workplace. If you're not invested, then that voice in the back of your mind saying "well I can always leave if I like" is super comforting and will help prevent you from reacting viscerally to bad situations. Typically IME the super horrid colleagues are ones who can't or wont ever leave that workplace, so they feel it's important to maintain their status quo/dominion. But if you're happy to leave any time, that doesn't bother you as much. Once my mindset changed in this way, workplace politics have got so so much better for me

You need to learn to detach and be pleasant but not get too involved with your work colleagues.
Impossible to say without knowing all the details but ‘defending’ yourself against someone having a go at them could look a bit like attacking people who give you criticism which will get you in trouble.
The next time someone has ‘a go at you’ you need to be slower to react. Take a step back and have a think about their comments. If they are unreasonable then take it up with them calmly later or escalate to your manager.
Its all a learning curve though most of us didn’t walk into work knowing exactly how to navigate tricky situations.

As said anything can spark a dislike of you.

But don't go in thinking of these people as friends, absolutely don't be over friendly or over share. Paint a rosier picture of your life, if you are having a bad time, or it will be used as ammunition.

If someone personally attacks you, don't defend yourself, go to the manager. You've learned the hard way that other's are happy to do that.

I always like busy departments so I can avoid chit chat. I also used to invent things I had to do at lunchtime.

My face never seems to fit.....i would love the kind of work where i can sit alone at home and make stuff.
Sorry...i did mean defend..typos.

If your face ‘never fits’ and you’ve had a good few jobs could i respectfully suggest that it be you not them? Only if it’s happening a lot in different jobs though.

If you come from a culture in another country which is different to the country you are in now, people may not understand it?

For example I worked with a girl who was very abrupt and factual. She did not socialise. We took her attitude to be that she didn’t like us her colleagues. We got off on the wrong foot until I spoke with her to see if I could see what the problem with us was. Turned out there wasnt a problem. It was cultural differences.

She thought the British way far too polite. She did not adopt it. Her way was more straight to the point. She just behaved as she normally would. We took it to be something it wasn’t. After that we understood her way a bit better and knew she wasn’t trying to be bad mannered, it was just her way.

Apologies if it’s not that. I have no wish to offend anyone.

If your face doesn't fit... don't worry. Even the example @Elieza gave I think backs up what I'm saying... there was nothing wrong with that woman except that she was foreign and different. What should she have done, act more British?? That's so xenophobic and intolerant!
To give you an example, that I was reminded when someone said about chocolate and cake: in my last office there were lots of women, say 5, around my age who I'd have liked to be friends with. We all joined around the same time. One or two were avid Slimming World attendees and used to talk about this a lot (I've no problem with that). But then all of them developed a habit of talking about dieting and food all thr time, and also brought in cakes and chocolates and doughnuts to share on the communal table several times a week. I dont have a sweet tooth as it happens but they'd point it out if I didn't take any. And I swear, the constant drip drip of unwanted comments got me down, they were constantly going on about how too-thin I was, pointing out how little cake I'd eaten, sneering if I tried to join in convos about cooking... If I tried to compliment a new dress etc they would get touchy and make it about weight. one colleague actually put on lots of weight one year and became much more popular and I honestly wondered if it was deliberate. You could say I was the issue there being thin (I'm thin for medical reasons). Or you could just say my face didn't fit and I hadn't a hope. There were many other problems but this is just one example...

Be polite, smile, never tell work colleagues of any of your personal problems and never ever speak badly of another colleague. Listen more than you talk. You won’t go far wrong if you follow these.

Please forgive me but I don’t know what degended means and google was no help so can’t think of how to advise.

FFS. If you can't work it out for yourself then I really wouldn't worry yourself about giving advice.