Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

AIBU to broach the issues with my parents house sale?

93 replies

RhymingRabbit3 · 31/12/2019 08:04

My parents are thinking of putting their house on the market to downsize. They live in quite an old house but recently (about 5 years ago) added a large extension.

The "new" part of the house is gorgeous. Nicely decorated, great for family living, underfloor heating and modern decor including a lovely new kitchen. The issue is the rest of the house. The "old" part of the house (75% of the building) is single glazed, the carpets and threadbare, there are cracks in the walls and ceilings, ancient avocado bathroom suite, wallpaper hanging off. You get the idea. My parents just seem unable to see these issues.

My mum is convinced their house will sell in no time and for a high price because of the lovely extension. WIBU to try and explain that the rest of the house is letting it down and they need to address some of the issues before sale? Would this sort of thing put you off buying - it certainly doesnt make a good first impression.

OP posts:

Geschwister4 · 31/12/2019 09:45

Last year we offered over asking on a house with Bakelite light switches and 50s appliances which hadn’t been redecorated since 1954. We just fell in love with the bones of the house, garden and surrounding area! They may get lucky.

This sounds a bit like my parents house, it needed gutting completely. We had over 40 viewings and 5 over asking price offers. People were looking for a house to put their own stamp on, not one which had already been done up. That was how the EA marketed it. As the PP says, if you fall in love with the bones of the house then you can change the almost everything once you are in.

beautifulstranger101 · 31/12/2019 09:49

As the PP says, if you fall in love with the bones of the house then you can change the almost everything once you are in

Agree. The most important thing that attracts buyers is: Can i imagine myself living here? Its easy to imagine different decoration or a different bathroom etc The bones of the house and the location are the most important thing. Decoration/style can be changed easily and relatively quickly.

MollyButton · 31/12/2019 09:55

In my area - when we sell our house, we fully expect someone will pull it down and replace (pity as my newish kitchen is very nice). Most houses that have sold recently have either been pulled down and replaced, or the back has been taken off and a huge extension put on (1/3 the size of the original house).
We have had the garden done, and a new garage door (it needed doing anyway), which gives the house "Kerb appeal". But estate agents have warned against doing much else other than declutter.

origamiwarrior · 31/12/2019 09:58

Completely agree with majority of posters saying to leave it. Buyers are prepared to pay a premium for unmodernised houses, as people love to 'put their stamp on it' and boast to their friends/social media that the house was a state when they moved in and how clever they have been with their rennovations. Adding in a plasticy bathroom and the ubiquitous cheap grey carpet will actually put people off, as they will resent paying for an 'improvement' they will have to rip out.

We have sold two houses (belonging to grandparents) that were totally unmodernised (one even without central heating). Both went to sealed bids, and achieved a far higher price than identical rennovated houses on same street. Don't underestimate the 'romance' factor of an unmodernised house and an avocado suite!!!

JosefKeller · 31/12/2019 10:05

GertiMJN
you must have very unpleasant family relationship if you think that is "interfering". How sad.

JosefKeller · 31/12/2019 10:07

and again... depends on your area! Same rules don't apply equally across the country, it doesn't matter how the market is in Liverpool if you are selling a place in Bognor.

Schmedz · 31/12/2019 10:12

I agree with all PPs who have said to leave it as is! I'm presuming your parents are quite houseproud and tidy - a messy house would be more offputting to me than a dated one.
I can't bear looking at houses where owners have clearly spent a lot of money 'modernising' and it's not to my taste and then I would want to spend money changing it anyway.
Hopefully their EA will price according to market value and someone will come along and fall in love with it and have a great idea of the sort of home they could make it into.

MintyMabel · 31/12/2019 10:12

Do your parents have some kind of limited mental capacity or something? Or do you generally infantilise them in other aspects of life too?

My parents are in a similar situation, we all had a conversation about the likelihood of a quick sale or a good price etc, what might need doing to the house. It wasn’t a case of “oh, how do I tell them” we just had a discussion.

What exactly do you think your mum will do if you give her this hardly earth shattering news? Collapse in a heap and have some kind of breakdown? Of course you have a conversation with them about it. Why would you need to ask internet strangers if it’s ok?

vivacian · 31/12/2019 10:14

I'm not, I haven't said anything at all. I'm just wondering whether I should bring it up so they're not surprised/upset if the house doesn't sell or has a lower valuation that they're expecting.

Well if you say something, that would be interfering. Perhaps they will be surprised or even upset if the valuation comes in low, I think lots of vendors feel like this when they've lived somewhere for ages, invested time and money and can't see the avocado. But they're adults, they'll cope I'm sure.

Why do you feel the need to rescue? How do you see this playing out? You can't win in this scenario.

vivacian · 31/12/2019 10:17

you must have very unpleasant family relationship if you think that is "interfering". How sad.

Can you imagine how a thread would play out if someone was considering telling her daughter that she thought she had to prepare for the estate agent quoting far lower than she guessed the daughter was expecting? With no foundation for thinking that daughter had unreasonable expectations? It's like saying, "your house isn't as good as I think you think it is"

CherryPavlova · 31/12/2019 10:18

What MintyMabel said. It’s none of your business unless you have LPA finances.
If it doesn’t sell quickly they may have to change their position but that’s their call. Where we are big houses in need of TLC sell quickly at a high price. People want to put their mark on their houses. It’s all about location rather than a bathroom colour that is easily replaced.

beautifulstranger101 · 31/12/2019 10:21

you must have very unpleasant family relationship if you think that is "interfering". How sad

I dont see it as interfering so much as potentially being bad advice. As people have rightly pointed out in this thread- MANY people love to buy fixer uppers and put their own stamp on a house. OP's parents could put it on the market now and get a buyer next week. But if they get worried about the decoration and spent months of time and lots of money ripping out the bathroom it could be a complete and utter waste of money and hassle. If it doesnt sell then yes, I would agree it needs to be re-evaluated. But telling someone to spend £££ on something that will probably make zero difference is potentially not sound advice.

TW2013 · 31/12/2019 10:22

Rather than re carpet would it look better with no carpets? We redecorated FIL's because quite frankly some sights cannot be unseen. Only two rooms had been decorated 20 years earlier (because we did them), the rest could have been 40+ years. Some bits I doubt had even been cleaned in that time. It really depends how bad it is, whether it is just tatty but clean or filthy. At each stage you narrow the market slightly. By underpinning and a lick of paint plus removing very stained (think lots of greasy black marks) and threadbare carpets we were able to move up from developer, cash buyer to family do-upper. We didn't think it was worth doing more because to fully develop would involve side extensions and loft extensions like other houses on street. Likewise didn't change bathroom, kitchen or windows because the new buyers would want to remodel the house plus might have wanted the original 1930s windows redone to retain character or new PVC ones.

Sh0na · 31/12/2019 10:27

I wouldn't bother. I totally hear you though as my parents' house is the same. They think it's lovely but it's not only decorated quite strangely, there are some really odd things, like my dad grouted the tiles in the bathroom with some kind of expanding foam and it has just been there, done shitly for about ten years! He also put a lightbulb in the hall above the hall stairs cupboard. No lampshade, now way to put a lampshade on it, just a light bulb protruding out of the wall!!! But they see other houses on the road sell for 750.

When they see an estate agent, they will be given a starting point. Then you never know what will happen next.

JosefKeller · 31/12/2019 10:46

It's like saying, "your house isn't as good as I think you think it is"
not really, a house for sell is no longer a home, it's a business transaction. It's no longer about your own taste, you just want to shift it quickly at the highest possible price.

The OP was asking for opinion, she is clearly trying to do the right thing. She got good points in reply.

The danger with downsizing is also that many people want to have less rooms, but the same living space- and often - not always- a smaller house means smaller rooms, which is a bit of a shock. Having several valuations, then having a rough budget in mind to look at what you can afford is helpful too.

ClairesKimono · 31/12/2019 10:46

Sounds lovely to me. When I move I want to make my mark on a property and would hate a 'done' house with matchy decor and carpets! I hate carpets! So it would make no difference to a buyer like me.

vivacian · 31/12/2019 10:49

not really, a house for sell is no longer a home, it's a business transaction.

That doesn't disagree with my point at all It's like you're arguing for the sake of arguing.

maddening · 31/12/2019 10:51

Get quotes for a repaint, recarpet and replacement of avacado suites and watch a few house sale shows like love it or list it etc with your mum so she can see where money is best spent for her return. Also suggest you start boxing clutter etc as it will only help with the move itself as well as the sale.

Letsnotusemyname · 31/12/2019 10:57

Ditto my parents a few years ago.

They considered the caravan in the garden was a useful spare room.

It wasn't. It was rotten, damp, favoured by rats and about 40 years old.

I had some fantastic bonfires as they were packing up to downsize - but unfortunately caravans don't burn.

Fortunately the people who bought, at a bargain price, saw through that and my Dad’s love of chipboard as a quality diy material.

All 5e best with having a chat - but don’t expect miracles.

AnnaMagnani · 31/12/2019 10:57

Let the estate agents tell them.

ILs had a couple of valuations on their house and were shocked to discover that no-one was impressed with their avocado family bathroom, peach ensuite and lack of shower. And that not having replaced the carpets in 30 years actually was an issue.

They had not pictured their house as a doer-upper or that anyone buying their house would promptly gut it.

They knew afterwards.

Attempts by us to tell them had been dismissed out of hand for years.

PuntasticUsername · 31/12/2019 11:01

I would absolutely buy a house based on it having "a new small extension for kitchen appliances", just saying.

thatdamnwoman · 31/12/2019 11:02

You might be surprised. If your parent's house has a nice outlook, a garage, off street parking, isn't overlooked by neighbours, has a decent-sized garden and is in a quiet position but within walking distance of shops / station then the state of the house probably won't matter too much unless those cracks in the walls are subsidence. It's location and outlook that you can't change.

ClairesKimono · 31/12/2019 11:04

Or leave them alone to manage their own affairs?

GertiMJN · 31/12/2019 11:07

you must have very unpleasant family relationship if you think that is "interfering". How sad.

The exact opposite JosefKeller

There was absolutely no need for you to throw insults at anyone on this thread.

You could have chosen to offer your opinion and left it at that.

Instead you chose to add an unnecessary and nasty dig, equating people who choose not to give unsolicited advice as people who don't care.

My relationship with parents has been wonderful. Over the years, the roles gradually changed as dementia took over. My parents trusted me and my brothers emphatically and put LPOAs in place many years before they were needed.

Over the years they helped us incredibly, but always with respect and never by interfering. We have been privileged to be able to reciprocate. As I stated up thread my father died recently and my mother has advanced dementia. I spoken to estate agents and offered my entirely relevant experience to the OP

So, keep your unfounded judgments to yourself.

mochamacro · 31/12/2019 11:15

Could it be that DP spent all they could afford on the extension and there is nothing left for further improvements? In their own mind the house may be perfectly OK and it will take a specialist in the know to explain to them why they may be wrong.

Even so, when people are downsizing they are also thinking about the money that may free up and the last thing they would be wanting to do is spend funds or borrow for improvements on the old place when keeping something in reserve for the place they move into makes more sense to them.

It is still allowed to sell a fixer upper in law I think

Flip

1 2 3 4