To be preparing myself for a potential split (when we are happy now)

[ShineYourLight2]

First time poster! DH and myself have been married for 2 years, together for 3 years and have a 10 month old. Our relationship has obviously moved very fast but we are older and knew what we were looking for. I moved into his house when we got married as it a lovely home and has great potential as a family home.

However, I am not on the mortgage (he has had the house for over 10 years), I don't pay towards the mortgage, insurances etc. I pay my own bills and buy food for the home and all the stuff for the baby.

Since we've had the baby though I've started to feel real as though I'm being very irresponsible by not looking after my own financial well-being in case we split up (we are very happy at the moment!)

AIBU by saving money and buying my own property rather than using the money for our family? His income is obviously spent on the house and we both contribute to a savings account for our baby.

You are married so who pays for the house is irrelevant now. As far as I understand, if you were to split, you’d get a share of it.

Even though he had it for 7 years before we even met and I've never financially contributed towards it? Doesn't seem very fair...

The longer you’re married the stronger your ‘case’ would be but yes.

You’ve contributed to the family/marriage by paying for food/childcare etc.

This isn’t to say you shouldn’t buy another property or whatever, but equally, he’d have a claim on that too.

This is why being married is so important if you're a woman having children, and you earn less than your partner.

Even though he had it for 7 years before we even met and I've never financially contributed towards it?

Yes. If you were to split, a priority would be housing everyone which means all your assets would go o to the pot for redistribution. With long marriages and lots of assets, there would always be an attempt to ringfence things owned prior to marriage, inheritance, that kind of thing, but ultimately marriage is a legally binding contract and there are obligations that need to be met on dissolution of the contract.

Yes, when he married you, the property became a marital asset, its irrelevant who bought it/how long ago.

In the event of a divorce, the starting point for dividing the asset would be 50/50 and as you have a child, you would be quite likely to get more than that if your circumstances warranted it.

The best thing you could do right now to protect your interests is to complete a Notification of Home Rights (HR1) form and lodge it at the Land Registry.

As his wife, It will protect your right to occupy the property in the event of a split. Its very easy to do and requires no legal training.

He will receive notification that this is what you have done though, which might make for an awkward conversation.

Doesn't seem very fair...

Whether or not you think it's fair is irrelevant. It's a bit surprising that you decided to get married but you did not know what that meant in terms of legal rights.

What assets did you have before you met and married?

It's a bit surprising that you decided to get married but you did not know what that meant in terms of legal rights - I know, it was ridiculous in hindsight that I didn't give much thought. Just knew we wanted to be married before having a family (personal choice, not judging anyone who doesn't!!)

I wish I had been more responsible when I was younger. Spent years renting, going on amazing holidays and thinking of money as something to be used to make memories. Now I am a mum, I just think I should've been more sensible and invested in bricks and mortar. Well it isn't too late and I'm going to continue saving.

Thanks for the responses!

Women are much worse off then men after divorce and with the rate of divorce as it is, every woman needs to have a safety net. So no, you are right to think about this and YANBU to save for yourself too, especially as you are contributing to a savings account for the baby.

Perhaps have your name added to the mortgage and bills etc. I know you're happy now and long may that continue but you need to protect yourself and dcs incase something happens. Even though everything is OK and you think you'd be amicable should you split emotions get in the way and people aren't always reasonable in those situations.