AIBU? DH doesn't seem to want to spend time with us

[spoilsporter]

29 weeks pregnant with second DC, and I've been suffering with really nasty headaches throughout second trimester.

Maternity assessment unit have asked that when I have one of the long lasting headaches to go back in and have blood pressure and urine sample checked again, as blood pressure is currently high, but as it stands, no other symptoms of Pre eclampsia

Since breaking up for Xmas we have been at in laws, my parents, home for two days, back to in-laws, and arrived home today.

Me, DH and DS were planning on going away for British break for four days before we start work again next week. I feel like I'd now rather stay at home- headaches have been bad, want to be able to get checked as and when needed, feeling run down, tired, and like we haven't had much time at home just the three of us to play with 2yo's new toys etc.

DH seriously depressed by this prospect- says nothing ever goes to plan. He's been in for half a day with us and already can't bear it- needs to get out, would have gone back to work earlier if he had realised that we would have no plans etc etc.

AIBU to disappoint and not go, should I go, probably have a lovely time, and keep everyone happy? I don't want to be at home if he's moping and miserable with me. If I needed to see a midwife because of headaches when I was away, is it likely that another hospital would see me if I had my notes? Has anyone done that?

Thanks!

Your health and that of your unborn baby should be the priority and your DH is being an ass! Tell him this RN has advised you not to go on the trip. He shouldn't be adding to your stress levels! Shame on him

Yes you would be able to see a midwife, I did when visiting my now dh before we lived together, I was living in a different county. If you feel comfortable with it I would go but not just because he's sulking

Can’t you go somewhere relatively nearby so you can still drive to your normal hospital if needed? Otherwise, yes, another hospital will see you if needed. If it’s just due to your headaches and seeing your hospital if one arises and you are otherwise confident of having a lovely time, I would go.

By the way, are you having a girl? I had debilitating headaches and migraines with my three girls and not at all with my son.

No, a little boy, but I was convinced it was a girl as the pregnancy has been so different to my first!

Honestly .. I see both sides.. none of my pregnancies were fun and I was ill the whole time and never wanted to be fussed with much.

However I know I made everyone else around me a little miserable with me and with my youngest I'd realised it wasn't something that could continue being an elephant in the room. I had the discussions with people and compromise was struck and things went along much more smoothly.

I'd say your DH is handling his panic about the impending change to life a little badly and probably needs the opportunity to open up about that and for you both to find some middle ground.

To start with have another look at some time away, I wouldn't even consider 4 nights, maybe one or two somewhere special to you all and contact the midwifery service in advance via your midwife so they're aware of your time in their trust area xx

DH seriously depressed by this prospect- says nothing ever goes to plan. He's been in for half a day with us and already can't bear it- needs to get out, would have gone back to work earlier if he had realised that we would have no plans etc etc

He is surely welcome to continue with the plans and take ds away for a few days without you if you feel unable to travel?