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Original poster

To ask about your sex time

34 replies

WeakLeftFin · 29/12/2019 23:51

Ok so very personal. I’m not asking for full glorified details just timing.

We have 2 DC teens and lately have found we don’t have time for us sex wise.
Work long hours. Kids don’t go bed til maybe midnight/1am on holidays/weekends. During week I work nights, have weekends off. DH works days and some nights. Like passing ships.
DS won’t go out. DD grounded.
Just wondering when people fit this stuff in now? Morning is a no go as I’m usually home after DH left for work.

Just wondering if people make like a date and plan it. On X day at X time. Put kids bed earlier maybe? But then what’s too early for near 14&15?

I type this as DH has just told DC to go to bed now (wasn’t taken very well at all) so we can have some time. I can still hear them, so I’m not hopeful as DH has work at 5.30.
I’m yabbering in now I know but I miss that intimate time.

OP posts:
Inhismemory · 29/12/2019 23:53

Do your teens not go out at the weekend?
Can you not just have quiet sex in your room and when you go to bed?

mummymeister · 29/12/2019 23:57

you need to have a very clear rule in place about your kids not coming into your bedroom when the door is shut. they are old enough to understand why without you having to spell it out. its also a good idea to have this from as young an age as possible and in our house we respect them if their door is shut we knock before going in.

raspberryk · 30/12/2019 00:00

That's a crazy late bedtime for 14 & 15, just go to bed before them, put music on and get down to it relatively quietly.

TreacherousPissFlap · 30/12/2019 00:01

We have a short window once a week when DS attends a club, but only on the weeks I'm not working Hmm

I'm certainly not advocating you crack our the whips and handcuffs, but as inhismemory says you could have a go in the evening. It won't kill your teenage children to realise that sex is still an important part of a loving relationship if they overhear the odd rustle.

ItFigures · 30/12/2019 00:03

Planning it is no fun I don’t think. It’s the spontaneity that makes it exciting. Agree with other posters go to bed early and try and keep it quiet.

AlexaAmbidextra · 30/12/2019 00:08

you could have a go in the evening

Sorry, this made me giggle. And they say romance is dead. 😂

Chocolateandchats · 30/12/2019 00:09

I totally get this. We don’t have sex very often. Evenings when the teens are out and you know you have at least a couple of uninterrupted hours or late mornings when they go out.... any time they are out. I disagree with above about not planning, we have to plan sex. Spontaneity is overrated in my opinion.

Thenamedame · 30/12/2019 00:11

Mostly mornings for us now. Too damn tired for night time sex 😂

justasking111 · 30/12/2019 00:12

Just to warn you if you turn in early and the bedroom is over the downstairs room the teenagers are using in our old house you knew exactly what was going on even if you were quiet. That might send them shooting off to bed.

If the kids are studying for GCSE`s make it a rule as we did that they went to bed at 10pm. They need the sleep to get through it all. Midnight during the week is just not enough for them.

Titsywoo · 30/12/2019 00:14

Our room is on another floor and on the other side of the house from our teens so we can't hear them and vice versa. We have a lock on our door too. So we do it whenever we like! If we didn't have this layout we'd just do it quietly though.

Original poster
WeakLeftFin · 30/12/2019 00:14

DA refuses to go out and because of other difficulties DD is grounded. They don’t come into our room at all, never have done. That’s always been our space. It’s just. I’m a tad loud Blush Grin and I get paranoid they can hear.

Romance is definitely dead here right now lol.
Bed time for them on school night is 10. It’s just holidays and Fri&Sat nights it’s later.

I do think spontaneous quickies say when they take dog out. (Their chore involves this at the weekend) DH would have a shock lol Maybe not planning with DH but inside my head planning. Knowing they going at 11 on Saturday and I’ll make sure I’m all quick and fresh and catch DH on the sly.
I never know how people do it with babies around. My sister have 5 under 13 and I’m always shocked she finds the time. Maybe I’m to paranoid and loud?! off to find a gag

OP posts:
Original poster
WeakLeftFin · 30/12/2019 00:17

Our house is tiny too. Our room backs on to DD’s room and DS’s door is opposite ours (possibly 4ft away)
Damn small houses! We are looking to convert our garage into kids room (like a movie room/game room) but maybe a sex place would be better lol 😂

OP posts:
Inhismemory · 30/12/2019 00:19

I’m a tad loud

Just be quiet then, you can enjoy yourself without the sound effects

Inhismemory · 30/12/2019 00:21

I never know how people do it with babies around

It's probably easier tbh. We have a 3yo and have sex every other day usually. DS is fast asleep by 7.30pm in his own room and has been since he was 6mo.

Disquieted1 · 30/12/2019 00:22

Think outbuildings and code phrases.
"Will you help me put out the recycling?" = "Fancy a quickie in the garage?"

Butterymuffin · 30/12/2019 00:23

Given your schedules you're going to need to take a planning approach. Do your teens do any activities or can you sign them up for any? Or assign them some regular thing to do on a weekend evening that would take them out of the house?

PenelopeFlintstone · 30/12/2019 00:27

Age 7-10 - “Mum and Dad have to have a meeting” - for afternoon quick liaisons when mornings and evenings were proving impossible.
After that, we put a small sliding lock on the door and slid it across very quietly. Then very quietly slid it back afterwards. I don’t think they’ve ever even noticed we put the lock on.

PyongyangKipperbang · 30/12/2019 00:55

6 kids here and ime its the teens that kill the sex life far more than the babies.

Sorry but you need to ride this out (no pun intended) until they bugger off.

FuckyNel · 30/12/2019 00:57

That’s why you buy your kids headphones

UndomesticHousewife · 30/12/2019 00:57

Yep teens are worse for your sex life than small children. But just lock the door and do it quietly.

PumpkinP · 30/12/2019 00:58

I actually thought it would be easier when they are teens!

Khione · 30/12/2019 00:58

I am 5th of 7 (born 1844 - 1960) first in a 2 up 2 down and last 3 in a 3 bed semi. Eldest was 15 when youngest born.

They managed it somehow GrinGrin

PyongyangKipperbang · 30/12/2019 00:59

And a word to the wise..... as a shouter myself, making a deal to have silent sex can be quite horny. You both really go for it trying to make the other make a racket, while trying to be quiet yourself. Can be fun!

SomewhereInbetween1 · 30/12/2019 01:13

You don't need to be loud to have sex. Just hush up

Original poster
WeakLeftFin · 30/12/2019 02:03

I never thought I was loud loud. Until DH mentioned it the other week in passing.
I definitely agree with teens being worse than babies yes. I can see a baby sleeping through unlike a hungry teen always up and down the stairs.

We’ve decided code words are now needed. Kids do take the dog out a lot as part of their chore so we can grab an hour then. They don’t do activities as they wouldn’t go but I’m going to sign them back up. There’s a few weekend clubs and that will give us some extra time then.
He’s gotta be up in 3 hours. I go back tomorrow night. We can and will do this and make it work.
As they say, a Sunday well spent brings a week of content Wink
Thanks girls Flowers

OP posts: