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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

DP family nuts!

7 replies

Fairydust00999 · 29/12/2019 22:29

My DP was hospitalised this weekend with his long term health condition (IBD) had reached crisis.
He also confided in my that he was having dark suicidal thoughts, and panic attacks.

I immediately got him an out of hours appointment, and insisted he needed hospital treatment, which the ooh GP agreed.
So off we trot to the hospital Saturday midday.
My mum had our DS(1) for the day.

It got to 5.15 pm and we were told he would be staying in, so I ENCOURAGED DP to call his (somewhat difficult) mother just to let her know, as much as she's very dramatic, we would want to know if it was DS.
He calls her, she says she is on her way, an hour later she still hasn't arrived, so we call to make sure shes OK, she sounds drunk on the phone, DP says not to worry, don't drink and drive.

Then I text his brother to ask for the number where mil is, to make sure she doesn't drive over drunk!

Bil decides he wants to come to the hospital too that night.
I had to leave at 8pm to get back to our DS.

Mil and bil turn up to the hospital at 10pm,both drunk and causing a right scene.
I'm disgusted at their behaviour to be honest.

Oh and on top of all this, bil had been messaging me pretty much blaming me for DP condition, as I've been feeding him chocolate, biscuits, coke and pigs in blankets.

AIBU to be furious with his family...?
Im so so cross they've stressed him out even more so, when he should be resting in hospital (not thinking about other patients too!).
From the moment DP knew his mum was drunk he was worrying, she could have killed herself or someone else... She was that drunk she didn't remember where she had parked the car!!
I wish I had gone back to the hospital when I got DS to sleep (left him with my mum) and told them to get out, and call security on them.

OP posts:
RainbowAlicorn · 29/12/2019 22:59

I have no real advice OP, just didnt want to read and run, they sound utterly vile. You and your poor DH. I hope he is better soon and if I were you I would go NC with them.

brassbrass · 29/12/2019 23:02

You encouraged their involvement but now you know they will just add to the stress you need to not involve them again going forward. It really is that simple.

Raspberrytruffle · 29/12/2019 23:04

They do sound like arseholes OP but if it were me knowing what they are like I'd not have contacted them both repeatedly unless he was on deaths door

Ellisandra · 29/12/2019 23:06

I hope he’s well again quickly.
No, YANBU to be furious with them. But - I’m sorry, YWBU to call her. From what you’ve said, this wasn’t unpredictable. Lesson learned hopefully!

Fairydust00999 · 29/12/2019 23:54

Yes lesson learned.
I thought I'd give her the benefit of the doubt, as we had been getting on better since our DS was born a year ago.
And I suppose having my own son, I can empathise more with what id like if it was my son in the same situation.
I hope my dil would contact me, not necessarily so I could be there, but to keep me in the loop.

It's completely back fired on me.
I won't do it again for sure.

He's struggling with his mental health so bad at the moment, awful to see as he is such a strong character normally.

Defo keeping them at arms reach now until DP is better !

OP posts:
ALLMYSmellySocks · 29/12/2019 23:58

Well lesson learned for next time, don't tell them in the future, I don't care if they'll be hurt not to be informed , they make the situation 10 times worse.

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 30/12/2019 00:15

I sympathise OP. I once let my MIL know that my DP had an accident, he was okay but he'd torn his ACL so would be on crutches for a few weeks. She drove 4 hours to the hospital, had a go at the doctors and him for not calling her immediately. She then sat down and asked him to go and get her a cup of tea.

I learnt my lesson as well.

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