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AIBU?

Living @ parents with partner and a baby...

14 replies

aspiringnurse · 29/12/2019 18:57

I know this is not exactly an AIBU but I couldn't find the what would you do option to select..

Basically me, my partner and 16 month old baby have moved back into my parents to save for a house deposit (due to wages etc I don’t see this happening for another 18-24 months), house prices where we live are £130k for a two bedroom house in an okay area..

Without meaning too sound jealous my LO and my niece (parents first grandchild) do not get treat the same and my son is very much second in the pecking order (though they say this is not the case).. aside from this it’s just what’s triggered me to post this..
I cannot stand living here much longer, we rented before living here and cannot explain how much I miss privacy as a couple and small family, my parents have very high standards and if they’re not met it’s just a horrible atmosphere, my mum feels as though she has a say in EVERYTHING we do with concerns to babies upbringing.. there’s no boundaries and just feel as though it affects my mental health more living here (diagnosed depression and PND)... don’t know it’s advice I’m looking for just needed to get this off my chest and wanted to know what would you do in this situation?

Me and my mum have a bit of a rocky relationship at times and she can go on pathetic imo with the way she goes on..

What would you do? Stick it out or move out and go back to renting? 😕

OP posts:
HirplesWithHaggis · 29/12/2019 18:59

I think you need to move out, sorry.

It won't get better, and you could end up falling out badly.

Wildorchidz · 29/12/2019 19:01

I agree that you need to rent again.

Tombliwho · 29/12/2019 19:05

You need to move out

user1493494961 · 29/12/2019 19:06

Move out, maybe your parents are fed-up with you being there.

patchworkelephant123 · 29/12/2019 19:07

You need to move out, I was in this exact situation and I recon we moved a few days before we ended up no contact.

Winterdaysarehere · 29/12/2019 19:07

Move out ASAP.

Petrichor11 · 29/12/2019 19:11

Move out, it’ll take longer to save up to buy but will save your sanity and relationship with your parents

PurpleCrazyHorse · 29/12/2019 19:11

Move out. Honestly it's not worth straining your relationship with your parents over.

We've done it for 3mo and my PIL were absolutely delightful. Couldn't have been more helpful, didn't get involved in how we parented our child, honestly couldn't have been more lovely. However, as an adult with a DH and child, we were very pleased to be back in our own home.

Lazypuppy · 29/12/2019 19:12

Move out!
£130k isn't expensive (our 2 bedroom house was £215k.
You only need a 5% deposit which is only £6.5k

TreadLightly3 · 29/12/2019 19:14

Can you talk to a housing association about a part rent part buy option? It may be they don’t require such a big deposit?
I agree with PPs you need to move out for the sake of your own sanity!

WhenISnappedAndFarted · 29/12/2019 19:14

Move out, it's not working.

PaperbackBlighter · 29/12/2019 19:14

Move out.

You’re an adult with a child, you need to stand on your own two feet and not rely on your parents.

BeingATwatItsABingThing · 29/12/2019 19:17

I have been in your position. We lived with my parents for over 3 years. At times it was miserable and I would have moved to rented in a heartbeat.

It was worth the wait though now that we’re in the house we want.

LucyAutumn · 29/12/2019 19:36

OP I was in a similar situation to you only we had our deposit already and had moved back to our home city to look for a house to buy while I was in mat leave. It took us 10 months in total and my mental health suffered massively despite great relations with my parents.
I think in your circumstances I'd seriously consider going back to renting, I can't emphasise enough how much better I feel since we've moved out ourselves. I would put your saving for a deposit on the slow burner over your mental health, you'll be so much happier and a better parent for it.

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