AIBU to want 15 y/o son to go out?

[DonnaHaroldson]

For the past week, my son has just stayed in the house and has done absolutely nothing. On Christmas Day we had the family over and he spoke to no one. He has gone nowhere and doesn't do anything during any other break either. When I was his age, I went to parties and hung out with friends until late at night. He does nothing. He doesn't revise for GCSE's that are in a few months. On Christmas everyone was talking about how well their kids were doing at school and I had to just say nothing and smile. This morning I asked him to do something with friends and he just said "It's Sunday, I'm relaxing." AIBU?

I barely left my room when I was 15 and didn't want to go out and go to parties either. I've made up for it since!

Leave him alone.

Meh. I have a 14 yr old and he has been ice skating, to town and the movies. My other dc has not been anywhere.
Teens are all different. As long as they are happy, it's fine

Have you considered:

He has no friends to go out with?
He's fallen out with his friends?
He's addicted to something like gaming?
That he's depressed?
That he is just like this at this stage in his life. He could just be a late bloomer?

You remind me of my mum. At 15 I had been bullied for years and was quite severely depressed but I don't think my mum ever really cared about how I was feeling, just that I wasn't popular and she couldn't brag about me to her friends. I was constantly told what I "should" be doing and that when she was my age she would be out with her friends etc etc. When actually as an introvert I would have much rather stayed at home reading then going to parties with people who bullied me and feeling sick with anxiety. I'm 32 now, married with children I have a good job and a nice house and I will never shake the feeling that I'm not good enough and I'm not who she wants me to be.
Maybe it's nothing as serious as all this with your son, maybe he's just an introvert or a typical lazy teenager, but trust me your relationship will suffer if your only concern is him being someone you can brag about to your friends.

Are you making him revise?

Also does he have friends?

Maybe try and have a chat with him about how he feels and if everything g is going ok.

There’s a big generational difference here. He could be spending all day texting/snapchat/whatever chat there is now his friends so what seems like no socialising actually is, albeit in a different way.

The sullen non-speaking is just being a 15 year old.

He could be quite introverted and needs to recharge his batteries before going back to school which is constant interaction.

If you’re concerned it could be closer towards depressing have a chat with him and try and find out what he’s up to. If it’s very literally nothing -staring at the wall nothing - then yes this sounds like something that needs intervention. If he’s gaming, texting, reading (other ings he’s not going to tell you about) leave him to it.

In terms of revision let him enjoy his break and you can be on his back for the whole first half of the new year about it. Sod braggers they’re generally lying and from my days at school tended to have the most miserable kids. Being happy is most important over everything.

Bit rude that he does not talk to house visitors but if I my son was 15 I would prefer it if he was at home and not galavanting on the streets. He does need to revise though but perhaps just needs a break over Xmas.

Well, it depends why.

Is it out of character? If not, could be:

• Possibly he’s on the autistic spectrum
• Could be he’s depressed
• Could be he hasn’t found any friends locally and was bored with Christmas activities involving your friends
• Could simply be he had a fantastic new game for Christmas and doesn’t want to leave it.

If it’s out of character I think you need to find a tactful way to raise it with him.