To be worried I’m heading for a complete mental breakdown?

[SulSul]

Past few months I have felt totally flat. Not depressed as such, just flat. I’m not excited about anything, I don’t look forward to anything. I gave up my hobbies and started staying in the house, avoiding all other people as much as possible. I work part time and find it too much. I’m constantly tired. I drink a lot. I eat shit. I’ve put on weight.

I was dreading Christmas as I knew I’d have to socialise. My kids came down Christmas Eve to stay until Boxing Day and I found it difficult. It sounds so awful but I was pining to be by myself again.

DHs kids care to stay yesterday (both in their 20s). I am really struggling now. Hid away all night in another room and went to bed at 10pm. DH has just dropped it on me that his mum is coming for tea at 3pm. Now I feel like I’m on the edge.

I feel frightened and panicked, sick, nervous ... I’m going to take dog out for the afternoon but know if I avoid MIL it will make me look shit so I’ll have to come back and face the situation.

I’m panicking about tomorrow as I have nothing planned and the nothingness is starting to make me want to implode. I’m shit scared of going back to work. I have a holiday booked in May and I’m scared, I don’t want to go even though it’s my favourite place and I’m an avid traveller.

I don’t know what to do.

I’m on the waiting list for autism diagnosis and have joined a few aspie groups and they’re suggesting impending autistic meltdown.

Sorry you're feeling so low but what is your question? Are you asking for suggestions about what you could do?

That sounds like depression to me, with possible anxiety. Go and see your GP asap with a list of the symptoms you've mentioned and ask for a mental health diagnosis.

Poor you.
I feel exactly the same. But not the autistic bit!

What help do you need?

Depression. ? Is menopause a possibility.

Getting better from depression starts with self care - plan three enjoyable and manageable things to do every day, shower every day, get dressed, brush your hair, eat a better range of foods, do something active every day, set mini goals for things you need to get done so you feel productive, see people you like. Be strict with yourself on doing these things. Then when you feel a bit better, address what might be causing your depression.

Getting better from depression starts with self care

No, for most people, getting better from depression starts with appropriate medical treatment from the doctor. Self care is great, but it is not a cure for clinical depression. OP, go and see the doctor.

Go and see your go. I felt like this for ages. I am now on a low dose of ads and feel so much better. I was very reluctant to take them / had them a few months before I did but honestly feel like I can cope do much better.