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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Buffet etiquette

80 replies

savethecat · 29/12/2019 08:58

Scenario:
There is a queue at a buffet of about 12 dishes. You are about 5th or 6th in the queue for the buffet and just want one item which is the very last dish on the buffet. The queue is slowly moving down with each person stopping at each dish.

There is no-one at all at the buffet from dish 4 down as the latest person on the buffet is taking their time, having a chat, having a good look etc.

Is it acceptable to go past people, grab your one item at the end of the buffet and leave?

OR

Should you just follow the queue past each dish with your empty plate until you get to the last dish?

YABU - queue and wait until you reach your choice
YANBU- just go past the queue to your choice

OP posts:
FamilyOfAliens · 29/12/2019 10:26

the vegetarian option was last

I knew this would be the case. At least if it was a hotel buffet, presumably they would replenish the vegetarian option if, as is always the case, the caterers never put out enough to account for people who take the vegetarian main as well as the meat main.

22Giraffes · 29/12/2019 10:31

I would wait. I know you only wanted 1 item but what about someone who wanted just 2, or 3? Where do you draw the line?

saraclara · 29/12/2019 10:39

Oh, if it's a hotel buffet, absolutely just go for it. There are no social rules for hotel buffets.
Personally I'd go for it anyway, whatever, but some situations might call for a quick mention that you're just passing by for the veggie option. But other hotel guests don't need that consideration.

gothefcktosleep · 29/12/2019 10:40

I would take the YANBU option and my husband would roll his eyes at me.

NearlyOutedMyself · 29/12/2019 10:42

I had this at a hotel buffet a couple of months ago. The queue slowly proceeded from the cereal round to the drinks section (which was empty) so I started there which earned me a death stare from a few people. To be fair, I always get my drink first but why traipse past things to get to the bit that you really want?

FattyCutty · 29/12/2019 10:46

I never stand in line at a buffet i just go to what i want and get it, sod all the chatting and faffing about.

FairytaleofButlins · 29/12/2019 10:52

to account for people who take the vegetarian main as well as the meat main.

unless it's clearly labelled, HOW are people supposed to guess there's limited "vegetarian" option?

I don't know anyone who is exclusively carnivore, and a vegetable dish goes quite well with my steak!

sproutsgalore · 29/12/2019 10:52

Ah, if it was the vegetarian option and you are vegetarian then go right ahead.

A system I've come across once or twice (and used myself) is that when the food is ready you announce "Children and vegetarians first" so the veggies get first choice of their options before the hordes help themselves to the only things you can eat. The children will home in on the nuggets, sausages and cakes so you're safe with them going first too!

NoProblem123 · 29/12/2019 10:54

You queue like everyone else sorry.
There could be vegetarians in front of you.

Radar’s second queue would give me the rage.

LadyAllegraImelda · 29/12/2019 10:57

Queuing for the buffet is a pointless thing anyway so slow and inefficient! I always ignore it and go to the middle, then other people follow and it's always just fine Grin

katewhinesalot · 29/12/2019 11:05

I'd push in- and have done.

KatherineJaneway · 29/12/2019 11:08

I would say to the dawdler...”I only want some salmon/whatever so do you mind if I shamelessly push in front of you?”

Me too.

Oysterbabe · 29/12/2019 11:19

why, taking turn to get what you want instead of pushing and shoving each other out of the way to get to your chosen dish?

Queuing or pushing and shoving aren't the only 2 options. In my experience most buffets involving people generally milling around, picking up what they want and waiting if someone is in the way of the bit they want. I've experienced very few that are a formal queue and when I have seen that I always wait until the queue is gone before going up.

ChristmasFluff · 29/12/2019 11:27

"Buffet etiquette" is what causes queues and I subvert it wherever possible. It only takes one person, and then everyone follows suit and the queues disappear.

So - nip to the other end; use the other side of the table; go straight to the vegetarian section. All are good ways to end the queue mentality.

Buffets work better without queues.

PenelopePissedstop · 29/12/2019 11:42

It’s dietary, have at it. I don’t like people who try regulate the pace of what essentially becomes a food conga! As for waiting while people who have eleven other options to dawdle over compared to your one ( esp. if it’s getting cold ) - no thanks.

Iwasneveragoddess · 29/12/2019 11:52

Buffets should be banned.

ElluesPichulobu · 29/12/2019 16:38

if the vegetarian option is last and you are veggie then 100% reasonable to dive in there. even without the things you sued about that bit being empty, and even if you were 40th in the queue. because meat eaters always scoff all the veggie option before the vegetarians get there because they regard it as a side vegetable rather than thinking that it might be the only thing the person behind them can eat.

iklboo · 29/12/2019 16:48

Actually if you are BIL2 the etiquette is 'charge to the buffet as soon as it's announced, trampling elderly relatives and small children underfoot. Pile three plates as high as you can with as much stuff as you can (all for you). Retreat to your table lair like Gollum and ignore everyone for the rest of the evening. Anything left when you're going home is fair game too'.

AlexaAmbidextra · 29/12/2019 17:11

Buffet dawdlers drive me mad. How does it take them so long? Just choose your fucking food and go ffs. 🙄

FamilyOfAliens · 29/12/2019 21:38

I don't know anyone who is exclusively carnivore, and a vegetable dish goes quite well with my steak!

I’m not sure where you got the “exclusively carnivore” label from. I’m talking about people who take two main courses, one of which is suitable for vegetarians. If you’re the kind of person who would take a vegetarian main course to go with your steak, you’re the sort of person I’m talking about.

FairytaleofButlins · 29/12/2019 21:46

It's a BUFFET, there's no such thing as a "main", that's the whole point.

BarbaraofSeville · 29/12/2019 21:53

A buffet of 12 items with only one choice suitable for vegetarians sounds extremely poor and I hope whoever ordered it complained.

Given that most omnivores would naturally choose several vegetarian items to make a balanced plate, I'd expect about 8-10 things on a 12 item buffet to be vegetarian so there's enough for a good choice for everyone.

After all, people are going to see things like onion bhajis, green salad, egg sandwiches or cheese as normal food to help themselves to, not special food, only for vegetarians.

Quicklittlenamechange · 29/12/2019 22:07

Buffets should be banned

This
"Hotel buffet" is probably the worst.
Toss up between Noro and Salmonella

TinyGhostWriter · 29/12/2019 22:07

Initially I said YABU, however I’ve now changed my mind in light of new evidence.

Hotel Buffet? Veggie option? Go for it

AgeLikeWine · 29/12/2019 22:12

YANBU.

The petrol station principle applies : If people insist on queuing for one particular pump while others are free, drive past them and use it.