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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU To be completely pissed off?

29 replies

Gemm83 · 29/12/2019 08:33

My house looks like an post apocalyptic world. It is so bad that Will Smith has just walked passed my front door with a dog holding what looks like a vaccine syringe.....

Both kids (5&6m) have a stinking cold. DH yesterday said that he was getting it. Cue descriptions of: "Head feels like it's in a vice/stinging at back of nose and throat/someone is sitting on his chest". He has man flu of the most appalling proportions. Still went to the football yesterday though. Leaving at 9am and not returning until 5pm.....he only had 2.5 pints though (heaven forbid). I text him yesterday and said that he would have to take the kids down to his parents tomorrow for a visit and enable me to try to organise/sort/tidy/anti bac the house.

This morning after lots of moaning, groaning, sniffing and basic lolloping in bed (where he still is) I got the (voice of a dying man) "I don't think I'm going to be able to do anything today, I feel so rough. You will have to take care of the kids today" speech.

WTF??!!!! When I have a cold I don't get to lie in fucking bed all day. I have to just get on with it. I am so angry as its left me with no realistic chance of sorting my hell hole of a house until after the new year now (got 2 KIT days at work Mon and Tues).

AIBU to want to smack him in the mouth?? 🤬

OP posts:
ThanosSavedMe · 29/12/2019 08:36

Don’t let him get away with it. Tell him tough.

Unless of course it’s actual flu

Original poster
Gemm83 · 29/12/2019 08:45

Not flu. Apart from the man bit!!

OP posts:
Liveandforget · 29/12/2019 08:46

That would utterly piss me off. He needs to get on with it, as all parents of dc have to

GertrudeCB · 29/12/2019 08:57

No no no no no no.
He drags himself out of bed and parents.

Willow2017 · 29/12/2019 09:08

Tell him to grow up and be an actual adult who is also a parent.
Lying in bed and claiming you have to.get on with it ffs! He managed 8 hours outside yesterday because it suited him he can manage today.

Tell him he either gets up and takes the kids or you will fuck off for 8hrs and leave it all to him like he did. I bet you are deemed capable enough to get on with it when you are full of cold so why not him?😠

Raildolly · 29/12/2019 09:14

Load him up with some paracetamol and a large coffee and tell him to get on with it!!

cola2019 · 29/12/2019 09:21

My DH is the same managed the football but now is dying he rreckns its flu but it is just a bad cold. Telling me off for not giving him sympathy and running up stirs every 2 mins with fresh drinks. I am so pissed off as in 11 years we have not done a ill free xmas holidays. Between him and the kids someone has been ill every year!!!

Original poster
Gemm83 · 29/12/2019 09:28

Cola2019

Shall we meet for drinks!! 😂😂😂

He's just come down stairs had a cigarette, made a cup of tea and then proceeded to have another cigarette so can't be that bloody bad!!!

He said how are you when he came down and I said not great and he asked whether I had what he had and I replied with: "Well I have the beginnings of a cold", he just grunted and went in the kitchen!!

OP posts:
OlaEliza · 29/12/2019 09:32

Why would you send your kids to someone else's house when they are ill? Especially older GP's.

Keep your germs to yourself.

dottiedodah · 29/12/2019 09:33

I am in a similar boat here.Feel ill .DH has to go shopping .Keeps asking me what to buy (have given him a list FFS!) How do I manage each week! Tell him out of bed and take kids out!

MinisterforCheekyFuckery · 29/12/2019 09:37

When I have a cold I don't get to lie in fucking bed all day. I have to just get on with it.

I hope you've actually said this to him instead of silently seething. YANBU to be pissed off but you would BU to just put up with this treatment.

CakeandCustard28 · 29/12/2019 09:41

I’d strip the bed so he can’t go back to bed and then get the kids ready and push him out the door to his parents personally. Grin Don’t put up with his behaviour!

Greggers2017 · 29/12/2019 09:42

Why can't you tidy with the kids? I've never understood this.
Your DP is being a bit of a tit though.

paranoidmum2 · 29/12/2019 09:44

Well if he refuses to leave the house then you go OP! Let him deal with the kids.

pinkyredrose · 29/12/2019 09:48

If he can manage football and smoking he can manage his own kids.

Original poster
Gemm83 · 29/12/2019 09:49

Greggers2017

It's not a normal tidy/housework... It's mainly going through 5 year olds bedroom to rid of all the tat and crap that she hasn't played with for years to make space for her new stuff. If she was in the house whilst I was doing it she would find a reason to keep EVERYTHING and I don't have the patience to be dealing with that kind of stubborness!!

General day to day stuff is no issue at all ☺️

OlaEliza

They already have it... Kids got it from them, however they are adults and know that the show must go on!!

OP posts:
Pilot12 · 29/12/2019 09:52

I don't think it's a good idea for your sick DH and sick children to go to his parents - they will just pass on the germs to them and older people come down with it worse.

Take the children into the bedroom, tell him you'll be spending the next few hours cleaning the house and he will need to entertain them while you do it.

GetUpAgain · 29/12/2019 09:53

I've had a horrible cold over Christmas and my husband has told me to rest, brought me drinks and medication and generally expected nothing of me. Why wouldn't you do the same for your husband? Leave the housework until everyone is better. Maybe tidy one room so you have somewhere nice to spend time and ignore the rest of it...

GetUpAgain · 29/12/2019 09:56

Sorry just re read about the football and smoking. (I'm a bit fuzzy Xmas Blush) - now I get it, he is taking the piss completely. Gives us ill people a bad name!

Leave everything until tomorrow then take kids somewhere nice leaving him at home with the chores to do?

GinisLife · 29/12/2019 10:07

People saying don't take the kids to gp with colds do realise said gps might only be mid fifties ?? That's not old !!!!

Equanimitas · 29/12/2019 10:21

Why is it so essential to tidy the house now? Wait till the kids are back at school to sort out their rooms.

Readthisearlier · 29/12/2019 10:28

Wow. Let the man rest. If you get up and do things when ill, and he doesn't take over, why enable that?

I've had full blown flu for the last two weeks. DH has done everything and I've been in bed. If he gets it, he will be in bed. We take care of each other. It's shit being ill.

shas19 · 29/12/2019 10:35

Sorry but if hes well enough to to go to the pub yesterday and have two cigarettes this morning hes not that ill! My partner is the same, if he has a cold the whole house knows about it! Unless he is genuinely ill then he needs to get up and parent!

needanewnamechange · 29/12/2019 10:37

No your not asking him to run Marathon just taking the kids out to his parents . Tell him go out so can sort the house out .

Idontkowmyname · 29/12/2019 10:40

Sorry to hear he’s not stepping up. Totally not the point of the thread but KIT days between Xmas and new year, I couldn’t think of worse timing

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