I have NC'd for this as family are on here.
My DSis has been with her DP for about 8 years now. He is not dad to her DC and they dont have any together.
He is good fun but as he is getting older he is getting more and more bigoted. DSis is quite liberal in her views and accepts everyone for who they are and that is that as far as she is concerned. BIL is getting more and more right minded.
For instance everytime someone who is not white is on tv he will make comments about over representation. Likewise his latest thing is that the LGBTQ community is "banging on too much " and there is no need to shove it in his face all the time. My DSis will point out all the time how wrong he is but he will talk her down and insist that he is right and only his view matters.
Her DD has just come out at gay (she is at Uni) and delights (bless her) in telling him at all times "btw I'm gay" just to help DSis stress that fact that he is wrong. He accepts her but it is getting increasingly difficult for dsis to manage a situation whereby her left leaning DD is locking horns with her definitely right wing DP.
To add to this they have reasons to think that his DS may be gay. He is mid teens and DNiece is getting more and more certain that he is. When he was over at Christmas dsis said that he spent the whole time with her DD and looked to her for support whenever BIL was banging on with his right wing views. We all feel desperately sorry for the poor boy, he is suffering with MH and we think a lot of this stems from his confusion about who he is and knowledge that if he is gay his DF will not accept him.
DSis is thinking of leaving him because she feels that she can't spend the rest of her life defending billions of people everytime one of them dares to show their face on his tv. Is she unreasonable to want to do this? I dont think so but she worries about her Dss and maybe removing the tiny bit of support he has. However his lack of support for anyone of colour, non-heterosexual, or anyone with MH issues (they are just weak app) is wearing her down. She will continually defend anyone and everyone but isn't sure she wants to be doing that for the rest of her life.
So would you stay in this relationship? Is she being unreasonable in wanting to leave just because of his views? They do have fun when he is not behaving like a racist or homophobic cunt, but she increasingly feels like this is untenable.
Thank you for advise. She knows I am posting this so I can show her the comments!