Out of hours doctor...

[WhereDidThisComeFrom]

Posted the other day to ask advice and ended up going out of hours with my DD 17 months on boxing day. He was clearly rushed as was an hour behind, didn't check her temperature properly as openly admitted it wasn't reading correctly as he could feel she was hotter. My thermometer is fine as it matched with the eventual ambulance.

He checked all vitals as he should (apparently!) . Tonight we ended up calling 111 again as she was still no better, had come up in a rash and was very lethargic along with other issues still being there.

They called an emergency ambulance. Five hours later in ane, tonsillitis. Should have been noted the other day and doctor believed throat likely would have looked a lot worse as dd had started to perk up. Apparently the rash was the infection leaving the body.

Am I right in being annoyed with out of hours doctor? He looked at her throat and claimed it was bloody clear! If we had known tonsillitis the other day we would have known to ride it out further, we would have known the rash was the start of the end of the infection. We wouldn't have had to drag a finally resting dd to a loud, bright room. I wouldn't have spent five hours with her wiggling all over me while I am 17 weeks pregnant and sore anyway. And most importantly an ambulance would never have been wasted.

I appreciate holidays especially are a busy time for doctors. I do. But surely those checks should still be on point?

NHS, dd and myself are worse off for tonight. All down to a poor check after waiting over an hour for our original appointment time the other day.

I appreciate in advance if I am being unreasonable. I am exhausted and hurt all over.

For a slightly light hearted end to it all, after hours of trying to get her to sit on a pee mat to catch a urine sample, she chose to pee when all was away from her and she was being checked over. Typical DD

There are no guarantees that the infection would have resulted in visible pustules on her tonsils at the time of your appointment. If the Dr looked at her throat and said it was clear, then I believe at that time it was clear Dr's generally don't allow young children to be misdiagnosed or suffer just because they're busy, they are always busy with not enough time as they'd like with patients I think YABU tbh. Your daughter is starting to feel better, be thankful, and get some rest.

YABU

I had tonsillitis a lot as a kid and it is entirely possible that when the doctor looked at your DCs throat it appeared clear but as they are only 17 months old they couldn't tell the doctor of the non visible pain/symptoms that the doctor can't see.

No doctor would let a child suffer but they can only diagnose what they are presented with, busy or not.

As a note to your comment "And most importantly an ambulance would never have been wasted."

You did not waste the time of an ambulance! You had a lethargic 17 month old baby, with a temperature and a rash! You called 111 and they deemed a trip to A&E necessary, (if only as a precaution) as children's health can deteriorate rapidly, tuning something seemingly benign into something extremely serious.

Judging by what the ane doctor said tonight and how bad her symptoms were on boxing day - it seems a general conscious that they would have been worse the other day. Not to mention dd faught him something terrible and he kinda gave up in retrospect (tonight the dr took a long Tim's trying to get in her throat) Although I do appreciate I didn't personally see it one way or the other.

I also do appreciate he was doing his best to move things along. I really do. A woman went to the loo and despite her partner explaining where she had gone he moved on to the next and called her after.

I just feel a bit emotional (and now wound up and unable to sleep!) Over it all.

I do know now in future what to look for. Which is good. And despite feeling let down he was very nice and clearly cared.

agree with above. you obviously have a lot to cope with at the moment. was there no one else who could have gone with the child to hosp?

Tbh maybe the AIBU should change to myself. Next time a temp at 39.9 (by the time I called) I think ane straight away. With the other symptoms at least.

Not to mention I feel a bit of a bellend as dd perked up and as long as she was on me was laughing and jumping around like a bloody bean.... seeing the other poor kids in there and then looking at her I wondered what the hell we were doing wasting time

DH did go with me, but dd settles for nothing bar touching me atm. I had a little break down around midnight and had to go stand outside and I could hear her screaming bloody murder for me. DH could have gone alone but it wouldn't have been in anyones best interests. Especially the patients and dd. Not to mention it has been me dealing with her since it all kicked off so I know all the symptoms and the when and hows

The A&E Dr can speculate that it would have been worse, but he cannot tell you that the pustules indicating tonsillitis would have been present unless he had examined her himself at the time. I'm sorry, but I think he was just trying to reassure you that the worst was over with the infection, and did so in the wrong way, as now you are doubting the ethics and standards of the previous Dr, and talking about them in a negative way.

If a Dr, who is already running late were to wait for a patient who was in the toilet (possibly had just gone in and would be a while) then that would only add to the delays for patients... You were already complaining he was 1hr+ late, what sort of delay would it have been if every patient prior were in the toilet?

I think you're overtired, hormonal and mentally exhausted looking after a sick child. You'll both be fine, you just need some rest now.

I would expect a doc/ nurse to call the next patient if one did not respond, seems reasonable and best use of time. sick person can be a v long time in loo. at least he gave her another chance later. that seems fine to me. better than feeling I will not get to see doc if I go loo.
anyway, glad the child is better. as you say, you have learnt through this experience.

As a side note on how wrong his thermometer was - his read 37.5 - mind read 40.1.

Which matched with our checks in ears to make sure it was working as I like to do that. Then the temperature matched with what the ambulance saw tonight. Not to mention him admitting it was clearly reading wrong.

Tbh in that moment I should have asked for another to be used.

It caused so many bloody issues that night as an extension. ExW kicking off, exposure to my chemo parents.

But I appreciate I am just a bit irate atm. DH with the magic he has has managed to fall fast asleep, dd for the first time in forever has fallen asleep in her cot. So the window of sleep I had I am using on just trying to calm while seething at all the injustice in the world will be moaning in the morning I'm shattered!

Oh no! I mentioned the toilet patient as an example as him clearly trying to do his best. When she wandered off and I heard the partner state she was just in the loo I mentally said to myself "pass on to the next... you're already behind!" I completely agree with that move. 100%. All that went through my mind in that brief moment was exactly that, if you keep waiting you will be waiting god knows how long. He was lovely in all other respects.

Their is absolutely no reason for you to feel "like a bit of a bellend children's illness presentation can be complex, and sometimes the children who outwardly appear to be fine in themselves by the time they get to Dr/A&E, are responding to the fact the medication you've given them, calpol and/or nurofen has given them some temporary relief from their symptoms.

The precise temp doesn't actually mean anything to the dr. She had a fever, that's all he needed to know. You're being unreasonable, dd is fine.

She went beyond all levels of medicine though... went from the same doses of everything during the same periods and being high in fever or low temperature and basically a little rag doll who didn't want to do a thing bar cuddle. To suddenly finding her voice again.... which conveniently including saying "shark" at the top of her bloody lungs which sounds JUST LIKE SHIT. while jumping on the bed like she had ants in her pants!

I think the falling asleep straight away no matter what thing is instinctive to men! I've known my husband to wait in the car sleeping if I've had to visit A&E in the middle of the night!

Thank you guys. Being able to relax a bit realising I am being a bit emotional while being able to look back on how ridiculous dd made us look has actually given me a giggle. And made me realise I am being a bit unreasonable with aiming my sleeping achy state at a dr that was very nice

Believe me, the Dr's and nurses would have welcomed the sight of an improving child rather than an extremely unwell one. They'll know that she is ill, but getting better, and she doesn't need to be admitted for treatment.

Dh has done that too! After a traumatic birth he tried escaping to "sleep as he was exhausted" I nearly murdered him then and there!

He also sat claiming exhaustion to my parents regarding dd recently.... despite sleeping on a sofa and being woken ONCE in the whole period to bring calpol cos she was full on dramatics and wouldn't let me even lift a single hand off her...

I am very appreciative they decided an admittance wasn't needed. It was a close call and they had to check but even dd lifted her arms up and shook them saying yeah! Likely just bounced off us saying the same but still.

Children. Terrifying little beasts that we adore to the ends of the earth!

Clingy sick babies can drive you nuts!

Babies and children are notoriously nightmares for displaying/hiding symptoms at the worst of times my dd has certainly done that to me!

I've left Drs with her seeming perfectly fit and healthy if grumpy to febrile fits within hours.

I've a long history of tonsillitis myself and even as an adult can go within HOURS from "nothing to see here" to raging red inflamed pustulous horror!

Tonsillitis can be like that.

Hope she is doing much better soon and you're all getting more rest, sleep deprivation is a bitch too!

Children are adorable, funny, terrifying, and a few other descriptors, but life would be boring without them in it!

Oh god yes. She is the star of "doctors or hospital means perk up and be bloody awesome" was even adorable when the dr was asking to check xyz and she got a cute "okaaaaay" . Shows how much I have been checking her when she turns her bloody head at the explanation!

Tbh I know I should be using this window to sleep. I need it. But is is awful for me to say I am absolutely loving for the first time in days I have some breathing space?!

I'm sat with a cup of tea and my dog while watching the monitor and just... relaxing.

They really are. I adore dd to the ends of the earth. Even now I stare at her little EVERYTHING and am amazed. But jesus if she doesn't drive me crazy at times.

I get DH due to work isn't around much, so dd hasn't much of a bond. And naturally they go to their main care givers anyway. But jesus. It is exhausting. No one ever. Ever. Tells you this aspect of parenting. And tbh it was exactly this that caused my pnd after having her. Cos I spent so long waking up earlier than her to do my face... do all the bullshit I usually would. After no sleep. Just to keep the impression of all was amazing.

Yes it is. You love your kids. Doesn't mean it isn't fucking hard!

I felt like the worlds worst mum tonight. Everyone else was so perfect and caring. Then come three hours i. Just had to say to DH take her. I couldn't stop crying and needed some fresh air. Legged it back so fast when I heard her calling for me. After that I was fine. Back to usual focus on dd self. But in that brief moment before that I honestly felt like I was going to break.

Exhaustion. Aching everywhere. Feeling guilty on a lesser extent for waking dd and a bigger extent for all the other kids going through obvious bigger issues.

And on a very selfish sense, my window of rest was gone. As was hers. As we both sat there ovwr the fight of sit on the bloody nappy pad. As last time I got pissed all over and had to go home with not trousers and a bloody blanket wrapped round me.

I'm sensing a pattern with dd 🤨