to wonder what's going through her head and to ask how I can help her?

[Hennypenny95]

My DD is almost 12, with a long history of generalised anxiety. CAMHS have been involved at a lower level and until now, the anxiety has tended to crystalise around her relationship with her older sister (violently competitive) and around school based issues (whether new people will like her or not).

She recently started a new school for her secondary education, which was a massive issue during the summer, but within a couple of weeks of the new term, she had settled extremely well and now adores it.

Her anxiety now seems to have regrouped itself around her own personal health and she has become obsessively anxious about this.

Initially, she experienced odd sensations in her lower back during mid November. She was so unsettled by this (and convinced she had some type of cancer) that I took her to the GP, who examined her and confirmed she had a "very normal back and spine". He said she was experiencing growing pains.

Over the next couple of weeks, she started to complain of lower abdo sensations - not pain exactly - but something other than that she was used to. This went on for a while, until I agreed to take her back to the doctor again. He felt her tummy - said it was soft and normal. But again suggested she was just developing and going through puberty.
He DID say she had a slightly raised temperature of 37.5 I think, which might indicate a low grade infection, but to come back in a week if things hadn't resolved with Calpol.

For the last two days, she has started to complain of itchy genitals and a pain on peeing. Her anxiety is becoming irrational. She went on a sleepover tonight, and at almost 2am I got a call from her, her friend and her friend's mother, worried witless about why her arm has turned a funny colour compared to the rest of her skin. It was red/purple/blotchy.

I suggested she washed her arm and that the discolouration was from the dye in her new top. Guess what - it was, lol. Arm washed by friend's long suffering mother revealed a normal coloured arm underneath, what I can only imagine, was the reaction of the dye in the fibres against the skin.

DD has gone to bed with a shiny new arm. I am wrung out. Not to mention her poor friend's mum who has been kept awake till the wee small hours whilst DD nadgers about everything and anything, and keeps telling herself - and them - that she's going to die.

My plan is to return to the GP with her this week and ask for a urine and blood test. There is obviously something going on down there for her, that she recognises as different to what she is used to. Most likely, it's innocuous. But I can't ignore it, can I? If I do, I'm telling her not to listen to her instincts about the changes in her body, which surely isn't the best lesson to teach a person.

Personally, I suspect that it's her body getting ready for puberty. But I can't reassure her of this, not should I, in case it really is something else.

What would you do?

I suspect your poor doughter has some severe health anxiety. Bless her, I hope she’s ok soon. Maybe take her to the doctor and get this seen to. She’s still to young that maybe some changes in her body are freaking her out.

You sound like a brilliant mother- well done for being understanding xxx

Go to the GP but she clearly needs a counsellor or psychiatric help for her health anxiety. You sounds like a great mum but until you get to the root of the problem there will be many y many more perceived cancer scares...

Thank you both for your kind words. She's been crying tonight and saying good bye, asking repeatedly if she's going to Heaven and insisting she is dying. She has no serious symptoms from what I can tell. Just some tightness in her tummy that's mild and that she forgets about sometimes.
Like I said, she has been seen by CAMHS for generalised anxiety. We had a 6 week training course (DH and I) supposedly equipping us to deal with these episodes. The methods aren't really working at the moment though.
I'll get her to the doctors and ask for a blood and urine test and perhaps another check. Hate wasting GP's time but if there is something underlying her concerns, I don't want it to be missed.

She needs medication, with health anxiety this severe there’s only so much that any talking therapy will do

Uti
Worms
Or health anxiety?
I would guess the abdominal pain could be related to periods.
Any chance she could be sexually active or have been sexually abused.

She sounds unbelievably difficult and draining to live with.

I would say, ironically, that she clearly does have something wrong with her - depression or anxiety. Health anxiety is a maladaptive coping mechanism, and it needs nipping in the bud. There are ways to deal with stress that don't harm DD or anyone else.

Hypochondria like this is no joke - one of my family was a persistent malingerer and he ended divorced and unemployable. Thing is, it's a vicious circle - the more you convince yourself and others you're ill, the more the conviction is fed with everyone's fear, and so it spirals.

Oh, and it's catching - her fear will infect you. It has, hasn't it. CBT at the very least, for both you and DH, and most of all, DD. Absolutely no reward for DD for exhibiting anxiety symptoms or you for engaging with them.

Shes almost 12, she could be starting her periods, which would account for the weird feelings and discomfort. It could also be feeding her anxiety. My anxiety becomes much harder to manage when I'm due on, and my hormones go a bit haywire. I remember being a young teenager and stressing for days over whether or not i might be pregnant because i had a funny feeling in my abdomen. It kept me awake for nights on end to the point that i was frantic. It was totally illogical, i'd never had a boyfriend let alone had sex, but it became an obsession. I eventually talked to my mum, who pointed out in her no nonsense way that no sex = no pregnancy, and sent me off to bed. I came on the next day.

I would speak to the gp about getting her some help, anxiety is a miserable experience without understanding why you feel the way you do, or what you can do to manage it. There are things that can help. At the milder end, just knowing its anxiety talking, and being able to recognise it for what it is can make a difference. There are cbt and other therapies too, and medication is a possibility for some people. Good luck, you sound like a lovely mum.

She needs medication.

Does she have a uti? That could cause the high temp and pain on weeing. Take her to the doctors as they can be hormonal, dd has had quite a few and the gp said it's common at their age.

I was diagnosed with OCD around a similar age, just before puberty began. I was so obsessed with every little itch/pain/twitch in my body I would constantly google symptoms ect.
I was referred for CBT as well as talking therapy . It gave me coping mechanisms and allowed me to control my ocd.
I'd think she definitely needs to speak to someone in case this is health anxiety as people have mentioned, as medical testing will temporarily easy her anxiety but she will soon find something else to be concerned with.

My dd10 has been dealing with some anxiety issues (nowhere near as severe as your dd) but one of her symptoms was itchy genitals and pain on weeing.

UPDATE
Thanks again folks. We've been back to the GP tonight, who did a much more thorough check, including taking a urine sample and giving us a blood test form. Urine sample was clear, but depending on what the bloods show up, he'll look at further tests if needed. He queried a grumbling appendix at this stage, but thinks IF it's that, it could resolve itself.
She seems more settled now he's given her such a good examination (palpating her entire abdomen, listening to her tummy sounds, lungs, heart, taking temperature, making he lift and push her legs against his hands etc etc).
Hoping that this will have been nipped in the bed before the anxiety gets out of hand again. I have strategies to deal with it to an extent, but might need to contact CAMHS again if it does escalate again.
There has been no more talk of death and dying from her since she saw the GP again tonight (whereas she was obsessing over it for the last few days).
Thanks again for reading and responding.

Good news. Well done you. She still needs to address the health anxiety - and so do you.

Speak to the pastoral team if her new school and explain what us going on. They should be able to offer emotional support via an ELSA so she knows there us someone to talk to at school as and when she needs it.