What's your thoughts?

[Tired26]

AIBU? I’ve been with my partner 25 years on an off, during our off times we both had children with other people! Now we are officially back together and living with his youngest who is 13. (My dd is 21 and lives by herself) so my 13 yo stepdaughter got herself into trouble as she was sneaking off to meet boys, arranging to fight a girl at the park and lying every step of the way, well I grounded her and took away her iPhone, her phone was put on the shelf in the walk-in cupboard. Ff a couple of weeks and partner decided to decorate, everything on the shelves in said cupboard was thrown in the kids room in a big pile on the floor, now it can’t be found! Stepdaughter been moaning to her dad and now her mum is calling my partner saying I should replace the phone! Stepdaughter isn’t without phone she is using her old iPhone. So AIBU by saying no I won’t replace the lost phone?

I get why you took it away but you should have kept it safe. I think it's not her or her mums fault it is now lost so you / partner should replace it.

Yeah you lost it, you need to replace it

It was safe on the shelf where it's always kept when she has it taken away from her. I didn't move it from the shelf her father did. Also I need to point out that even though her mum lives 10 minutes from us, she doesn't see her daughter from 1 year to the next! No phone calls, stepdaughter doesn't stay at her mums, doesn't visit her, she just had no one else to moan to so called her mum and she is trying to get a newer phone out of her mum.

If it was still in the cupboard at the time, it'll be in the kid's room.

If it's not, then it can't have been in the cupboard still. In which case, you need to question why and who removed it.

I didn't lose it that's my point... yes you would think it would be in the kids room, my only thought is stepdaughter found it and has put it somewhere or it's got thrown out along with a lot of stuff in the room

So what was the point of taking it if she had another anyway... either way you n her dad lost it if you think that it could have been chucked away you should have been more careful! There is a chance she's already toon it back and is doing this to cause drama as it sounds like she has bigger issues than just a missing phone....

She might've sold it?

She didn't get the old phone back until her punishment was up (about a month) so she was without a phone! We only realised her iPhone was missing when it was time to let her have a phone back.

Her selling it did cross my mind, or even giving it away as she really wants a iPhone XR that neither myself or her dad will buy her. But putting the guilt trip on an absent mum works wonders 😒

Not your fault if DP moved it. It's his fault!

Can't you do find my iPhone on it?

I think she needs to speak to someone about the rejection she feels, in terms of her Mother.

The behaviour is coming from somewhere and you need to get to the root cause.

Rejection and abandonment issues from her mother may be contributing to your Stepdaughters bad behaviour.
You may want to get her some counselling.

Find my iPhone won't work as she can't remember the password for Apple ID.
Absolutely think it's down to her mum abandoning her... she has some serious issues but dp won't have a bar of it. He doesn't think there is anything wrong. The child is screaming for attention good or bad!!