To think that NOT RTFT

[PanicAndRun]

...should be a breach of guidelines?


Mostly it can be amusing or eye roll worthy when someone barges in a few pages later without reading more than the OP, and even that is questionable sometimes. Some replies seem based on just the title .


But there have been several threads lately that were quite sensitive , with the posters in dangerous situations,vulnerable,at risk or just in a very emotional state.

And posters kept showing up without RTFT , any of OP's comments or updates and just sticking the boot in and having a go at OP again and again based on a quarter of the information.


If people have form for this and do it repeatedly I think it should count as breaking guidelines, then maybe people wouldn't be so callous and lazy.

[WorldsOnFire]

Think it really depends doesn’t it.
If the thread is posing a generic question like ‘AIBU to think public transport in this country is a disgrace?’ and a poster wants to voice there opinion on that question only then no I don’t think they need to read 45 pages of drip feeding twaddle to weigh in.

If it’s a personal circumstance ‘AIBU to think my DH is emotionally abusive?’ and someone wants to comment on that OP’s very personal and emotional circumstances then yes they need to read the 45 pages of twaddle.

Personally I think drip feeding should be against posting guidelines. The other day an OP spun a ‘AIBU’ about having to make Christmas dinner for a certain time to accommodate a family members (made it sound like great aunt Maude being awkward) ... however many pages of ‘YANBU’ later OP announced it was actually a step child (she obvs didn’t like very much) who had to eat at lunch time as was leaving to be with their mother. So many posters were fuming 😤 rightly so!

[GymBunny2020]

When posters update a long thread two months later you can't really blame people though.

[ElusiveOrangeTwirl]

I think being able to see all posts by the OP might solve part of the problem, but you'd still get people repeating advice that has already been given, which is also tedious.

[user32564567]

Read the fucking thread. None of this prissy 'full' thread shit.

What has happened to snarky MN? I cba with this new MN lite shit.

[DameFanny]

Yanbu. There's some right fuckwits stomping around with their "haven't read the whole thread but" and "maybe if you told us [info that was in the first post]". Does my head in.

[PanicAndRun]

Surely life is If it’s a personal circumstance ‘AIBU to think my DH is emotionally abusive?’ and someone wants to comment on that OP’s very personal and emotional circumstances then yes they need to read the 45 pages of twaddle.

This is exactly the type of thread I mean.

I honestly believe that there are certain type of threads where if you can't be arsed to spend a while getting the full info and context, then you shouldn't actually post at all. It feels so callous and dismissive when someone is going through something really shit to not even be able to give them a few minutes of your time.

[WhenISnappedAndFarted]

Sometimes I find a thread that's 15-20 pages long so I'll always go through and read the OP's posts first and the comments on the last page or two.

[Ellisandra]

Even without the ability to see all OP posts in one page, it takes me seconds to scroll back 3 pages of a 20-pager to look out for OP highlighted in a different colour.
If not recent OP, you can very often find out if the thread has moved on just by reading the last page.
I really do think that when there’s 10+ pages, people don’t bother are dicks.

[Ellisandra]

@WhenISnappedAndFarted - see, exactly what I posted that people should do, at the same time it’s not hard!

[Redshoeblueshoe]

Panicandrun that thread is so awful. Bashing the OP, I could actually cry for her.
If I was her I'd ask for it to be deleted

[Blibbyblobby]

Also the problem wouldn’t exist if you had the choice to view all the OP’s posts on one page. Not sure when MNHQ will listen though

Thing is, then you’d get pages of the same response cos posters read the OPs posts but not the comments from other people.

I reckon make the reply button locked unless the poster answers three questions about the thread correctly (not a practical suggestion I know, but don’t you wish it could be? )

[PanicAndRun]

Tbh sometimes reading even the last 20ish replies can give an indication if anything has changed from the OP, any new developments etc.

That's what I normally do if it's a really really long thread(or returning to a thread after a few days), then if it's obvious I missed something I just scroll up for OP's posts which are very helpfully highlighted in a different colour.


If people wanted to,they could. Going "oh I have more important things to do with my time than reading 20 pages of this" when someone is seriously struggling is the height of arseholery. Implying it by not RTFT and making it obvious by what your posting is slightly less "bad".

[user32564567]

The only response to the 'snapped and farted' thread was 'it's not funny' repeated about a a 100 times.

[DameFanny]

Maybe quick measures

1. Enforce the format of the OP's posts being coloured to stand out, without the user having to enable that in their own defaults

1. Get rid of pages - it was useful when we were trying to view on 2g, but just just disguises the length of the thread these days

1. Check box to tick before you can post - maybe not in chat or food etc but especially for relationships, parenting etc, saying 'you're posting in what may be someone else's crisis, please tick to confirm you're not being a bitch for the sake of it NB there have been X posts by the OP and Y posts altogether you should see if someone's already suggested your bright idea' or something

[pallisers]

Even without the ability to see all OP posts in one page, it takes me seconds to scroll back 3 pages of a 20-pager to look out for OP highlighted in a different colour.

This. Although one thread tonight, I doubt reading the full thread would make any difference to the posters determined to excuse a man and blame a woman. I see a lot of that and nothing the woman will post is more important than a man's feelings. At the risk of making this a taat, if your unborn child isn't more important than his feelings than what the fuck is?

Also I sometimes wonder if reading a full thread is beyond some posters - really really poor comprehension skills out there. Seems like one post is all they can take at one time.

[RubyRedz]

I agree, its very annoying!

[PanicAndRun]

The thing is there's no consequence (fuck me I sound snotty) so there's no incentive to spend those extra second or minutes to get the at least half pictures.

Posters can waddle in, stick their boot in and the twaddle off, or worse stay for an argument about RTFT and why they're right or whatever bs they can come up with.

They said their piece which is what they want with no regard to the OP or the impact they might have.

[Nanny0gg]

I cannot understand why people can't at least read the OP's posts. They are very easy to highlight in a different colour.

And if the thread is very long, read the OP's posts and the last few. Then decide if the response that is burning to fly off your keyboard has already been made (many times), so do you really need to add it to a 800 post thread.

If the thread is remotely sensitive, think carefully about whether whatever happened in your past/to you is remotely relevant.
And try to avoid putting the boot in.

[Groovinpeanut]

It is annoying when you're about 4 pages into a thread and it's obvious that some random comment is asked, it's clear they've not even read the OP.
It then starts a chain of responses that take the thread off on a tangent. I never understand the need to comment if you've not read the OP or the thread, it's like some comment for the sake of commenting. Sometimes it is funny when a random comes on and writes a really random comment. You just imagine people reading it are thing wtf.

[PulyaSochsup]

Sometimes posters desperately want to help but are short of time, I did this myself recently thinking it might be helpful, without considering the pain it might cause. I didn’t look back on the thread until afterwards when it became obvious that the matter had been resolved. In future I certainly shall at least read the last page of comments, it was quite a sensitive issue and the last thing I wanted to do was upset anyone.

I have indeed RTFT this time and I will avoid posting when I am unable to do so,.

[slashlover]

I remember a thread a little while ago where it was obvious that some posters hadn't even read to the bottom of the opening post. The last paragraph changed the context and people were still replying to the title/first paragraph.

[EmpressLesbianInChair]

I think I saw you on a thread today panicandrun which was a great example of why this is a problem. Pages of posts from people who hadn’t read the initial Op properly never mind any updates. Derailed the thread really with RTFT posts when the op needed some support for a very real and potentially dangerous problem.

I’ve just read that thread. Fuck. I hope the OP got out safely.

And yes, it would have been far better without all those self-important idiots who couldn’t be arsed to make sure they’d at least read all the OP’s posts before sticking their oar in. The problem is that getting into arguments with them just derails the thread further.

[Vulpine]

Why can you not just ignore the comments from posters who have not rtft? That's what i do.

[EmpressLesbianInChair]

I’ll usually ignore or possibly point & laugh if it seems appropriate. Cancel the cheque or one a while ago about sandwiches, for instance.

But when posters are repeatedly having an unjustified go at an OP or giving them bad advice because they haven’t RTFT, that’s not on. On a serious thread, if someone can’t be arsed to do things properly, they shouldn’t post.

[SmuggyMcKnobson]

I'm not sure that RTFT would even help a lot of posters.

So many times you read the actual first reply and it is obvious that they haven't even bothered to read the ONE post containing less than 20 words.

e.g. "I need to get to Moscow urgently but absolutely cannot fly for medical reasons. Any suggestions?

The first response usually says something like " There are daily flights from XXX"

Then lots of posters demanding to know the exact nature of the medical condition - and often at least one post saying "I would prefer Majorca at this time of year"

If posters can be this dim about a fairly innocuous question, it doesn't say much for their advice on other matters.