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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

AIBU to think I could be getting a bit of PND?

5 replies

Bellasblankexpression · 28/12/2019 20:09

Mainly posting here for traffic.
Had first DS a week ago, much wanted after losses including one in second trimester.
I started well but I’ve become increasingly anxious all week to the point where I’m struggling to eat, feel really tearful - my back is so tense.

I’m worrying about everything.

I keep checking his temp - his neck and back will feel warm but his chest a little cool and then I get upset because I’ve let him get cold and I’m doing it all wrong and I’m going to make him ill.

I’ve had trouble with breastfeeding although now he seems to be feeding better but I’m still
Not convinced I’m doing it properly and he’s latching on correctly as he often has a few sucks then just falls asleep. Midwives and health visitors just say is he latching on you should be able to feel it but I don’t know - I can feel him sucking but I don’t know if that’s it.

I’m obsessing over his nappies - he had some
Pink staining in them, cousin who is midwife and my own midwife plus heath visitor have said it’s fine it happens in newborns, particularly breast fed ones but I keep thinking I’m not giving him enough milk even though I’m still getting wet nappies (slightly yellow).

His poo is still greeny Although it’s no longer black and only changed to green in the last couple of days but I thought it should
Be yellow by now so again, I keep thinking I’m feeding him all wrong and maybe should just switch to formula although he hasn’t lost ten percent of his birth weight and they were happy with his checks.

I just want to cry. Every bedtime I stress about the temp of the room and what to dress him
In and then can’t sleep because I have to keep checking he’s breathing.

During the day if he feels a little cool I just want to cry because I haven’t looked after him properly and I’m letting him get cold but I don’t want him to overheat.

I sound mad don’t I!

After our loss, I guess my anxieties have gone into overdrive as o can’t quite believe now he’s here it’s going to be ok.

OP posts:
RubyG3112 · 28/12/2019 20:34

I'm no expert, but I had my first baby 8 weeks ago and for the first two or three weeks I was so emotional, hypersensitive and hormonal. I sobbed when I went to one of his first appointments and forgot his little red book, so much so, if an outsider would have seen me they would have thought I was having a break down.

I think it's normal with what you've been through to be scared and anxious and with your hormones, I would say it's completely normal so don't be hard on yourself. And mention it to the midwife / healthcare worker next time you have a visit, they'll be able to support you but I'd say they will probably reassure you that it's completely normal and will pass xXx

Bellasblankexpression · 28/12/2019 21:54

Thank you. I’m in floods of tears at the moment because he doesn’t feel toasty warm on his chest even though he’s in a baby grow, vest and has been wrapped in a blanket.

I just feel like I’m going to make a huge error of judgement or miss something with terrible
Consequences.

OP posts:
Bearlyawake · 28/12/2019 21:54

I could have written this 9 months ago...sounds like postnatal anxiety, I had it quite bad and received counselling which really helped. Where I live, you have to self refer to counselling services (so no point going to GP for it) I was seen quickly due to having a baby and they were so helpful. Baby is nearly 10 months now, I am still using the techniques I learnt in counselling but also taking medication to help. It could just be hormones, but if you're not getting better in a few weeks please speak to your health visitor and get some help, there's no shame in it Smile

Bellasblankexpression · 28/12/2019 21:59

Thanks @bearlyawake I feel almost Ill with it at the moment.
I might see if I can get another community midwife appointment sooner rather than later.

OP posts:
Bearlyawake · 28/12/2019 22:10

I know what you mean, I used to make myself sick to the stomach with all the worrying. Definitely have a chat with someone.

Also congratulations and make sure you enjoy lots of cuddles with little one Smile

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