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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

DD’s 3rd birthday party only a few can make it :-(

29 replies

absopugginglutely · 28/12/2019 16:06

Hi all, please reassure me that it will be fine...

DD has asked for a party for her third birthday so about 4 weeks ago we gave out invites to 9 of her little friends.

The party is tomorrow so we knew it would be a tricky time of year for people but just today one of the four children who was supposed to be coming has now pulled out because they’re still away with family.

Now we have three definites and one maybe and I feel so sad for DD who has been so excited for it.

This is the first time I’ve ever organised a children’s party so I am nervous as it is.

Anyone have any wise words of reassurance for me?

Thank you in advance.

OP posts:

Cryingoverspilttea · 28/12/2019 16:08

She isn't even three yet. She doesn't know what a birthday party is properly

Gerryatric · 28/12/2019 16:09

Awww OP don't worry, it might actually be a blessing in disguise. At 3 she'll just be over the moon to be having the party and won't be totting up the numbers. It'll also be less hectic. Parties can be quite over stimulating at that age so with fewer children they might all enjoy it more.

Gerryatric · 28/12/2019 16:09

She isn't even three yet. She doesn't know what a birthday party is properly confused

She isn't a tiny baby of course she knows what a party is! That said I think she'll be fine with it being smaller.

thewinkingprawn · 28/12/2019 16:10

Where are you having it? If at home in a small room then 4 of them will be absolutely fine - usual games - pass the parcel etc and they’ll have a marvellous time. Big hall and you may want to rethink (although mine have always enjoyed running round a big hall more than the party I think!!)

GooGoo52 · 28/12/2019 16:13

She's only little, she's definitely not going to notice if there are fewer people. Tbh, nine children seems a bit much! Enjoy the small party. I'm sure your daughter will have a great time.

sonjadog · 28/12/2019 16:17

Four will be fine. Do fun party activities and she will have a great time.

Goingtobeoldearly · 28/12/2019 16:19

I'm sure it will be fine, op. However, in the future, it's good to get a feel for the date and try and pick the most popular date. We have a bank holiday birthday which Is often tricky so we've usually had to give out a couple of dates to see which one is the best.

Rumplestrumpet · 28/12/2019 16:21

Honestly, smaller is better and at 3 only a handful of people is absolutely fine.

We attended a 4th bday party just before Christmas to which only 2 children turned up. We made a fuss of the bday boy, he got cake, presents and games and was perfectly happy. The other kids were happy too and were pleased to have more prizes in pass the parcel

She will pick up on your vibe so just tell her how exciting it is and she'll go with it.

TulipCat · 28/12/2019 16:25

Have a fun time and enjoy yourselves, however many turn up. Once your DD starts school you will probably need to have her party either before you break up for Christmas or as soon as you are back in Jan. This will be fine - one of my DC has their birthday in the school hols, has never had a party that close to the day itself and is just something we've always done so not a big deal.

DrManhattan · 28/12/2019 16:25

Make sure you are excited and happy
She will be looking to you :) have a great time

ILearnedItFromABook · 28/12/2019 16:27

Smaller numbers may keep things a bit less hectic and give her more time for one-on-one play with the friends who are there.

I agree with Goingtobeoldearly, though, for future birthdays. I have a cousin who was born on Christmas Day, and for many years, he celebrated his "half-birthday" in summer instead. You needn't go that far, but if you could either celebrate early or a little later, there might be fewer problems with people being unable to attend.

Hope your daughter has a wonderful time!

nestisflown · 28/12/2019 16:31

It's a difficult time of year to throw a party. However, I've heard that it's better to limit the number of children invited to a child's birthday party to the age of the child (I.e. 2 year old, two other children; 5 year old, 5 other children). Obviously it's not a hard and fast rule but having taken my child to many 3rd birthday parties this year...at the couple of HUGE parties I attended at hired out softplays with dozens of children- the birthday child was completely overwhelmed and hiding behind mummy all day/ crying.

Your little girl will enjoy whatever, just make sure you keep the vibe positive.

Wynston · 28/12/2019 16:45

I would be thinking thank god.....4 is nice......!!!
What are you doing......in my experience they just like to run???!!!

NeverTwerkNaked · 28/12/2019 16:47

4 sounds like a lovely number. It's just not a great time to hold a party as a lot of people are so busy at this time of year

DisorganisedOrganiser · 28/12/2019 16:49

You could make it lovely and special with just a few.

In future though you need to have it at a different time of year and invite more people if you want a big party. We are going to a party on Monday. The parents have chased a million times as it is such a difficult time of year for a party. Loads of people can’t make it anyway.

It might be for the best. My DC’s parties always end up massive and it is so expensive and stressful.

Starbucksbasic123 · 28/12/2019 16:54

She won’t remember it fully just the atmosphere so be excited that you have some definite guests and have fun! 4 will be lovely and I hope you have a brilliant time

Myusername101 · 28/12/2019 16:55

I know where you're coming from but I'm sure your DD won't care how many people are there so long as there is the other things that make it a party like games and dancing. Also it's not like she is going to remember her 3rd birthday when she is an adult (or even by her 4th birthday) so I wouldn't worry.

myself2020 · 28/12/2019 16:57

As long as there is cake and at least one guest, she will be fine! 3 year olds don’t have a full understanding of parties yet :)

WorraLiberty · 28/12/2019 16:57

She isn't even three yet. She doesn't know what a birthday party is properly

Why wouldn't she? The OP hasn't mentioned the child isn't NT or anything like that?

Cornettoninja · 28/12/2019 17:00

My dd (4) has only had a couple of ‘mates’ aka kids of mums I can actually have a decent chat with for a couple of hours round and has been absolutely delighted with it.

Honestly, all they need at this kind of age is some music, balloons, party rings and a cake with some candles on - the kids will take care of the rest

I hope you’re doing it at home because the only thing you really need to do is make sure the place looks the part with balloons and bunting if you can be arsed.

Dd is an early December birthday and doesn’t quite escape the Christmas takeover but I have learnt that for when I’m investing more in birthday parties to do it late November. I would take on board for future bday parties you’d be better off waiting till early January to do the full shebang.

NK346f2849X127d8bca260 · 28/12/2019 17:01

She will still find it exciting, my son always preferred a smaller number at that age, she will have a great time.

LadyMacbethWasMisunderstood · 28/12/2019 17:02

My daughter is 18 now and still remembers her 3rd birthday party. She had 6 friends. A parent stayed with each of them. It was a perfect number Fewer would also have been good. Your DD is likely to enjoy it very much even with fewer people that you had planned. Enjoy.

Catapillarsruletheworld · 28/12/2019 17:05

Four kids will be fine for a 3 year old. Lots of little children get overwhelmed with lots of guests.

elliejjtiny · 28/12/2019 17:10

4 is a lovely number at that age. Guest numbers are tricky I find. I kept numbers low at my then 2 year old's party in case everyone wanted to bring siblings and ended up with hardly any children. It was nice though.

Elieza · 28/12/2019 17:19

It will be fine. All games and smiles. Enjoy!

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