DH telling a stranger private business?

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So we spent this Christmas at my sister and her husbands, they have a 22yo woman living with them atm who ended up spending Xmas with us.

I haven’t seen my husband for 6 weeks because of his work and he only came back on Xmas eve. As with any couple we had a couple of spats while he was away, one of which was when he went out on a 12 hour drinking spree with a group of people he’d just met while I was struggling this end with work the house and 2 screaming children.

On Christmas night I went to bed alone and laid in bed while I heard him telling my sister, BIL and this woman we’ve never met about our argument and how I ignored him and couldn’t cope etc. I don’t think he realised the entire house could hear him including my parents.

I went down and told him that I could hear everything he was saying, we had a row, and he ended up sleeping on the sofa Christmas night.

I know you should let things go but I’m really pissed at him because I feel that not only has this ruined my Xmas it’s also shocked me that he would tell someone I don’t even know stuff this private.

We are usually quite solid but I haven’t coped great with him being away and wanted this to be a really special Xmas.

AIBU here to be struggling to forgive him for this?

I think you are over exaggerating a bit. He was telling people you'd a row, not personal business as you put it. It's hardly a hanging offence, if he said you'd had money worries or something I could understand. I think if the truth be known you are more angry about him leaving you alone so long. X

I think it's the least of your problems really. If he wanted to talk to your sister and her husband, which he must have done, then he could hardly boot the guest out of the room, especially on Christmas Day.

It probably just happened quite naturally, rather than him making an actual decision that he was going to tell this stranger what was going on.

he went out on a 12 hour drinking spree with a group of people he’d just met while I was struggling this end with work the house and 2 screaming children

If he'd just stayed in his digs, he still wouldn't be around to help though. I presume that your work, his work, the house and the children were all an informed choice. In other words, you knew his work meant him being away, you knew that your own work needed to be juggled with the DC and you certainly knew that 2 DC would produce a LOT of screaming didn't you?

Bear in mind that if you could hear their conversation then they certainly heard your spats, if they occurred in the house. So this might not even be as 'private' as you thought.

On the whole, YABU to be angry with DH but you are obviously worn out and rather than carrying on with an argument, perhaps use it to constructive effect to discuss how frazzled you are and agree that some changes/compromises need to be made.

Bloody hell I'd hate it if DH discussed our arguments on Christmas eve so the whole bloody house could hear!

YADNBU

I agree the 22 year old is there as guests of your family so close enough to be included in family Christmas. Was he supposed to tell her to leave the room.

Errr no he should have refrained from having that conversation on Christmas eve!

I think it's the least of your problems really. If he wanted to talk to your sister and her husband, which he must have done, then he could hardly boot the guest out of the room, especially on Christmas Day.

There was absolutely no need for him to moan about OP so the whole house could hear at all on Christmas eve! If he didn't get the opportunity for a private conversation with his sister he should arrange one not just discuss it with everyone in ear shot.

YANBU OP. I wouldn't want my husband discussing our relationship issues a) so that it could be overhead by me and the rest of the household b) with someone I've never met before.

It was hardly an emergency that he aired your dirty laundry in public, he could have kept it to himself over Christmas!

I don't think you are being unreasonable, bad enough to chat about your argument to other people but most of all discussing how you couldn't cope would be what really annoyed me, if I were you.

If my husband moaned to MY sibling about me, having been away for six weeks to top it off (I realise he was working), I would be spitting feathers. But I don’t think it’s as cut and dried as him being out of order and that’s that. You overreacted about him being out while he was away. He says you ignore him.... I don’t know, I think there’s plenty of contributing factors to whatever’s going on.

Let it go. My wife is a red headed woman who will easily flare up into a temper and argue or shout. I can respond the same way.
An hour later we both forget it and get on with loving each other. It usually needs one of us to say "Come here, I need a cuddle" but we don't let arguments go on and on.
Talk to him and sort it all out.