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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Gaming with your child preposterous?

41 replies

FrivolousPancake · 28/12/2019 15:28

A friend of mine who has always been very pfb with her now 11 year old son has just been on the phone crying that he spends so much time in his room gaming. She feels she’s “losing him” and he’s not her “baby anymore”

I suggested moving console and tv out of his room as that’s isolating and he’s still pretty young.

I also recommended that as well as getting out more that she should try gaming with him, I suggested a few games they could enjoy together.
I remember really bonding with my dad when he would show an interest in my gameboy etc and me and DD love gaming together, it’s really brought us closer at an age where devices and screens can do the opposite.

Anyway she told me not to be so ridiculous Confused

I’m far from a cool gamer mum but I do think if you’re so worried about “losing” your son that it’s not such a preposterous idea to try get on his level a bit?

She has made me feel a bit ridiculous Blush

OP posts:
SlightlyStaleCocoPops · 28/12/2019 15:31

A number of people will be along in a minute to tell you how dreadful gaming is and her son will end up an unlovable man child unless she stops this now.

Fishcakey · 28/12/2019 15:32

My DS and DH are both avid gamers. It's been a shared hobby since DS was small and wanted to join in.

LivingDeadGirlUK · 28/12/2019 15:33

Nah she is probably just one of those people (and mumsnet is full of them) that dont see gaming as something an adult should be doing.

I too have fond memories of gaming with my dad growing up and am looking forward to playing in the future with my son who is only 2 at the moment.

catlady3 · 28/12/2019 15:38

Sounds like good advice to me and I look forward to playing with my future kid when they're old enough. There are great games that are fun for adults as well as children, bitike board games used to be I guess.

EstebanTheMagnificent · 28/12/2019 15:40

DH and DD have had an absolute blast this holiday playing Pokémon Shield together on the Switch. YANBU.

EndoplasmicReticulum · 28/12/2019 15:43

My teen sons and their father just spent most of the afternoon on some sort of pirate adventure multiplayer thing. They do this often. So it is possible.

Leaannb · 28/12/2019 15:43

I love gaming with my kids. Its the best thing ever

AugustFalls · 28/12/2019 15:43

I had some really lovely times with both of my parents gaming. We used to play the normal Nintendo things together and bomberman and Age of Empires on lan when we were a bit older. It was something really nice to do together and I’m looking forward to this when my DS is a bit older.

Bluebutterfly90 · 28/12/2019 15:44

Me and my partner both play games, and its something we're both excited to share with our son when he is old enough.

It's a shame that some people feel disconnected from their kids but also refuse to engage with their interests.
Even my mother used to play games with me when I was a kid. Columns on the megadrive. Much fun was had by all. Grin

WorraLiberty · 28/12/2019 15:45

I used to love playing PS games and Sega games when my kids were younger so YANBU about that.

However, I wouldn't let them play it so much that I felt I was 'losing' them. They need to get out of the house and get some exercise/other interests too.

Aunty5ocial · 28/12/2019 15:45

Her pfb is growing up and her parenting needs to evolve too. You're not being ridiculous at all op.

WhereDidTheOddSockGo · 28/12/2019 15:47

You are currently 107% not being unreasonable!

Gaming with your child preposterous?
Alexandra80 · 28/12/2019 15:47

I play Fortnite with my DS. It's quite a nice way to bond because it's a huge thing to him and his mates and it seems to be meaningful for him that we can talk about it and play together. I dgaf if people think that's ridiculous, it works for us Grin

xmastreestar · 28/12/2019 15:49

I would but by 11 they are going to be far too good for me to keep up with them 😂

reefedsail · 28/12/2019 15:50

DH spends loads of time begging DS to play PvZ with him. Sadly for DH, DS has other things he likes to do. Grin

Littlepond · 28/12/2019 15:51

We play games together here. We play computer games but we also play board games. My sons will play Xbox together, my daughter is currently playing on the switch downstairs with her dad. I am a huge Nintendo fan and will spend hours playing on the wii U (not upgraded to a switch yet 😂) with or without my kids and husband.
That said, my 15 year old spends a lot of time in his room too...

jaseyraex · 28/12/2019 15:52

YANBU. Our almost 5 year old is just starting to get in to games now that we've got a Nintendo switch, me and DH love playing with him. Especially Mario kart Grin

I used to play the gamecube with my dad and some of my fondest memories are of that. It's not a ridiculous idea at all. Gaming can be a great hobby.

PineappleDanish · 28/12/2019 15:52

I play Fallout 76 with my teenage son.

WeirdPookah · 28/12/2019 15:54

Both my husband and me love games and our now nearly 6yr old has grown up seeing us play and now can play some games herself. We limit time and she is often happy to watch us play instead.

Original poster
FrivolousPancake · 28/12/2019 15:54

I’m so relived yo read all your replies, thank you!

I had wondered was it an insensitive or “trying to be young” but she just didn’t want to hear suggestions. I think she just wanted me to partake in the “oh no we’re losing them” conversation.

OP posts:
Vulpine · 28/12/2019 15:55

Great advice especially taking the console out of the bedroom

Original poster
FrivolousPancake · 28/12/2019 15:55

My heart has swelled seeing how many others game with their children too!

OP posts:
Bingcankissmyass · 28/12/2019 15:58

Me and DH have raised mini gamers, and often game with DS(16). Our motto "The family that slays together, stays together" (due the nature of the online game we play not because we're secretly a murderous family )Xmas Grin
@PineappleDanish us too!!

MWNA · 28/12/2019 15:58

Playing Mario Kart with my daughter over the years has been a wonderful thing. It's brought us such pleasure.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 28/12/2019 16:02

Ds2 recently got a Nintendo switch for his birthday.. This thread has really encouraged me to make an effort and play some of the games with him. I’m sure he’ll enjoy teaching (and beating Wink) me lol!