Eloping?

[travellover]

Me and my fiancé are thinking of getting married without family and friends in the Bahamas.

We know our family and friends wouldn't be able to afford to go there (if we had a destination wedding with friends and family we'd have to find a fairly cheap resort in Mexico/Dominican).

However it is a dream of ours to get married in the Sandals resort in the Bahamas, but it would mean going by ourselves (which I actually love the thought of doing, I have bad anxiety) then doing a big wedding party/reception the UK when we're back.

However I'm really worried about upsetting our parents as they were looking forward to seeing us get married, I'm just so stuck on what to do it's so hard to make everyone happy but getting our dream wedding at the same time ☹️

I suppose this is more of a 'what would you do' rather than an AIBU but I appreciate any views!

OP I only mentioned anxiety because you mentioned it in your op but now you say your anxiety has nothing to do with your plans but instead it is due to other mh issues and childhood issues. In which case fair enough, do what makes you happy - have the intimate ceremony abroad and then the big party for your friends when you get home. If that is your choice then you don’t have to justify it to anyone.

We're eloping next year, I refuse to spend ridiculous amounts of money on a wedding when I could spend it on a holiday. We're doing it in the registry office and going away the next day, will tell everyone when we're back

Do your family want to be at the wedding to be able to see the vows or to be able to celebrate with friends and family? Could you do the Sandals wedding quietly for the two of you and then have some kind of relaxed party with a celebrant to do informal vows when you get home?

I agree with @FeigningHorror.

If you (and your dfiance) have decided you are going to elope, own it. Don't try and get your family to 'give you permission' Either do it, or don't do it.

We did it and have absolutely no regrets.
No-one who cares about us at all said anything negative about it. A few friends complained about there being no party.
If they love you they will understand that you are having the wedding that you want and that's exactly how it should be.
It was magical in a way that we could never have achieved had we had guests.

Do it! I regret pleasing everyone for my wedding day. I wish I listened to my heart and made it what I wanted.