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AIBU?

Yet another DD thread

42 replies

a12345b · 28/12/2019 12:02

I am really getting tired , DD is now over 11 and still giving us trouble and worry all the time.
Latest is finding out she finished a bottle of calpol 3/4 full( not all at once) and half of a neurofen brand new bottle.
I really am at my wits end. Every new problem we work on it, then something else happens. She can be reasonable if she likes( usually when she wants to avoid a consequence) but do I really need to explain at her age u don just take calpol ?? She addicted to sugar, lies, go check around my room or the kitchen as soon as she alone(prime example is as soon as i lock bathroom door), stole from people s home, lieing etc etc.
Dont think shes SN as she can behave if and when she likes, i d rather her not go counselling as where we live culture is very different.
What should I do, im out of ideas and to my immense shame i sometimes regret having her. Her sibiling is no angel but behaves normally for his age.

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Am I being unreasonable?

37 votes. Final results.

POLL
You are being unreasonable
68%
You are NOT being unreasonable
32%
shiningstar2 · 28/12/2019 12:55

Is her dad on the scene? If so what does he think are the causes of her behaviour?

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a12345b · 28/12/2019 12:56

Thank you cold , will try that.

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a12345b · 28/12/2019 12:57

Yes husband with us. Hes at a loss as I am. We go between thinking we are too lax and we are too strict 🙄

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a12345b · 28/12/2019 12:58

cold you see, I would understand trying a bit of medication. What i dont understand is keep going until you finish the bllody bottle. Its like she always need to go that extra step more then normal behaviour.

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Quartz2208 · 28/12/2019 13:00

You need help as well with what boundaries you should be giving as well

Please seek professional support for you all

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chatongris · 28/12/2019 13:01

the behaviour you describe is almost exactly like my niece who has ADHD diagnosed late. Boredom induced reckless behaviour, impulsive, almost seeking out trouble to occupy herself. It is not normal misbehaviour to sip on calpol for the sweet taste. You need to seek help.

Totally agree with this ... sounds exactly like my DD at 9-10.

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a12345b · 28/12/2019 13:02

chatongris how do you deal with your DD ? Any tips?

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Mummy0ftwo12 · 28/12/2019 13:03

How is she at school?

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a12345b · 28/12/2019 13:05

Very good at school.

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ahenderson270 · 28/12/2019 13:24

www.additudemag.com/adhd-in-girls-women/


www.spectrumnews.org/features/deep-dive/the-lost-girls/

Have a read of these and a rethink about having your daughters behaviours assessed.

It's a scary thought but no scarier than the consequences of leaving these conditions mismanaged and undiagnosed.

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FoamingAtTheUterus · 28/12/2019 13:44

You sometimes regret having her ?!

Oh op. Her behaviour is challenging. And I'm sure she's difficult at times but that's such an extreme thought and in all honesty not healthy. I agree she does need support but I think you do too to address your feelings towards her. Hell I know families dealing with kids who smear and eat their own faeces, they'd probably love to be dealing with a.child.like yours instead.

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a12345b · 28/12/2019 15:55

foaming funnily enough thats another problem we have dealt with over the years.

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a12345b · 28/12/2019 16:17

Dont see the point of ur post anyway, how is that helpful.

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MzHz · 28/12/2019 16:18

I think that at times a bit of a “regret I had her” is absolutely understandable

This mother is trying everything and it’s having no affect. Of COURSE it would cross her mind to think ‘I wish none of this was happening’

To suggest that OP SHOULD NOT feel these emotions is unrealistic and unhelpful

ALL emotions are valid and they need to be worked through in an honest and supportive place.

She’s posting here because this is stuff she can’t say out loud in her real life.

I can’t offer anything other than sympathy OP. Sorry. I wish I could. However I think there does appear to be good plans of action mention especially here, and I hope the GP can find ways to help your family.

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a12345b · 28/12/2019 16:40

Thank youFlowers

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ProfessionalBoss · 29/12/2019 08:10

@Stillagain "... there are plenty boundaries she just refuses to respect any! This is the crux of the problem. No respect for any rules or boundaries, no matter how simple or sensible."

Wow! I think you need to get this behaviour corrected before she ends up with a criminal record. (you said she has stolen in the past, it's not unusual for it to become a regular thing).

I know you said that you don't want to have counselling for your own reasons, but this child needs to realise that she is expected to behave in a reasonable manner!

The fact that she doesn't respect any boundaries is unacceptable, and she should be punished for breaking the rules! Not rewarded by you buying sweets and bringing them into your home! You're reinforcing her bad behaviour to the point you're not even treating her like an equal, she is literally ruling the roost and controlling you... FFS!

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parrotonmyshoulder · 29/12/2019 08:36

I think you and her father should read ‘The Explosive Child’ by Ross Greene ans apply the techniques it describes. Involve her in making the plans.
However, if you can afford play therapy for her I also suggest you do that. Regardless of ‘culture’.

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