To think my H really doesn’t give a toss?

[OverByYer]

I have exercise induced asthma which I manage with an inhaler. I went for a run this morning and in my rush to get out forgot to take it. A mile in I realised I was starting to get short of breath so headed home. By the time I got in I was gasping for breath. H is in the kitchen and I ask him to help me find my inhaler. I found one but it was empty so had to go and get one from the car, come back from the car to find H has gone back to watching TV. Didn’t even ask if I was OK.
AIBU to be really upset that he couldn’t care less?

I normally have a puff before I run , I normally take it with me. Normally I run with a club and drive to meet her so always have in my car.
I just forgot today and when I realised I’d forgotten it I returned home.
I either keep in medicine box, my car my handbag. I was panicking.
He’s very apologetic now and says didn’t realise that I was struggling. Lesson learnt.
Thanks for the responses.

I think he is BU. I have asthma and know how awful the tight feeling is. My mother also helpfully rings me up to tell me whenever someone (on the news etc) has died of asthma

He needs to take it more seriously- my H went away for the weekend when I was ill with it, helpfully leaving 9 year old DS with me too. I've never forgiven him.

OP, when you make two statements that are directly contradictory of each other, it's not pulling them apart to ask for clarification.

Of course its OPs responsibility to have her medication but sometimes everyone forgets or misplaces things. I honestly don't think we should be judging/chastising her for a mistake. Fact is her husband should have given a shit and didn't, although he has now apologised.

There are some vile people in this world OP, as you can see from some of the unnecessarily unkind responses to you on this thread. Stay well, ignore the smug ill-wishers and remember to keep your inhalers with you in future.

Thanks.
I’m quite newly diagnosed and been managing it really well until today. I think I got over excited to see that the subways out for once!
Gave me a scare and will not make that mistake again. Will also get H to read up on asthma as he doesn’t understand how scary it can feel.

• Sun was

That's awful op. I hope you are OK. I can't believe your husband didn't help you especially when asthma can be serious. Are you going to talk to him about it? Does he usually behave like that?

If it is new, he may not yet realize how serious it can be. It took a couple of years for me to have it fully under control from when I was diagnosed. What I do, is have them all over the place, so that I am never that far from an inhaler. Saves the running around looking for them.

I would cut him some slack on this. He didn't realize but he is also learning about how to deal with it.

I don't know why but every day I'm surprised by the very low level the bar is set at for men on MN. You think I'd be used to it by now.

Men are excused for not buying presents
Buying shit presents
Not doing anything around the house
Not doing childcare
Not contributing financially
Not contributing emotionally having affairs
Having emotional affairs
Staying out all night
Not having contact with kids
Not wanting sex or affection

And, disgustingly, rape. A thread excusing a man for rape is what made me leave mumsnet last year, I've come back and a man is being excused for leaving his wife have a potentially life-threatening asthma attack while he watches tv. Silly me for thinking things might've changed for the better while I was away.

Tbh I think not making sure you use inhaler before you exercise, not taking inhaler with you when you exercise, not replacing empty inhaler and not having a dedicated place for your inhaler in the house when you know you have asthma, know it can be fatal, and know it’s induced by exercise is pretty blasé and probably sets the tone for how the rest of the family treat your asthma.

This.

Sounds like you’re both still on the learners slope with it so I would cut him some slack and agree with others that he may just not realise yet how serious it is. I would have a chat and give him some stuff to read. Also definitely get an “emergency” kit somewhere very easy to get to in the house, put in a full inhaler with whatever else you need during an attack and also a print out of instructions that anyone can read that says what to do if you have an attack. This means when you can’t speak- he (or anyone else) can still see what you need. During your chat tell him you’re doing the kit, where it’s going to be, what it’s for, what’s in it and what he needs to do. Then once you’ve put it together you go through it again with him.

Not pulling your post apart. But as an adult surely the onus for ensuring we have our required medication falls on us, the adult.
As an example I suffer from corneal problems and I don't expect my husband to know where all my eye drops and eye creams are.
And on the flip side my husband is the asthmatic, I keep telling him to make sure he has enough inhalers and when he is running low get it replaced early.
I think cut your husband some slack and make sure you are more responsible about your own inhalers

@JoeysTurkey my thoughts exactly! Not to mention just general meanness some have towards others. I'm quite shocked by it.

OP I really hope he is going to take this seriously from now on.

WRONG THREAD!!! So sorry OP will ask Mumsnet to remove ASAP!

Thanks again and some good advice. I will explain to H what having asthma is like and what he needs to do in future.

Op i have asthma too had a couple of very scary attacks this year and currently my asthma is playing me up and i am now on steroids because i am my own worst enemy i keep going instead of cutting myself some slack so i got taught a big lesson because he has been really bad and still is this week .My DH is much of the fact i don't think he really realises how quickly it can change he is a bit blase and it does grate.
I have my asthma meds in a box in the same place in the kitchen and an inhaler always on me .My DC's know where my meds are too .I went when i was first diagnosed always forgetting my inhaler but you really do need keep it with you.

Bloody hell, some harsh responses here. Asthma is a serious, sudden-onset condition that can, and does, kill people. My mum has it quite badly and my DH and DS have the exercise induced variety.

My DS in particular can go downhill in a flash. The first time it happened he was playing about with his cousins, right as rain, then being blue-lighted to hospital within half an hour.

You don't leave someone who is gasping for breath to wander around trying to find their medication, even if they're still able to walk.

In a similar vein, my dad managed to come downstairs in the midst of his massive heart attack and ask my mum to call him an ambulance. Should she have said 'well, you're obviously alright, climbing stairs and all - do it yourself, you lazy bastard?' His heart stopped in the ambulance. Luckily he's still with us due to her quick response.

You don't fuck about when someone, anyone, is in respiratory trouble.

Itsmybirthday19 i think your post especially your last two sentences are spot on.Not being able to breathe is terrifying and i honestly think some people don't get how bad asthma can be until it happens to them .One attack i had i just couldn't breathe blue inhaler wasn't helping that is no joke being in that situation.