AIBU worrying about my daughter?

[LostAndConfused2616]

Hi everyone,
My daughter will be 2 in March and about 4 or 5 weeks ago her eating habits became horrendous.

Yesterday, for example, she had almost half a rich tea biscuit
A slice of brown bread
Not even a full teaspoon of "tayto"
1 teaspoon full of porridge and a tiny bite of "narna"
I mean a slight scraping of teeth around the side of it.

She used to be a brilliant eater. She would love vegetables and fruit. She would sit in her high chair and use a fork and try to use a spoon. NOW she wont do that.

She says she "not like it" when I try to give her almost anything. Even if its something shes had the day before. She makes vomiting noises and starts coughing. Some days she has nothing at all. Christmas day she lasted on 1 bite of bread.

I try not to react or worry incase it makes it worse but I'm at my wits end. My husband sometimes tells her off for "being silly" but it doesn't help.

I dont want to just give her anything but she wont even accept "choco butts" anymore. Something she used to love as a treat.

I dont know what to do. She isn't losing a noticable amount of weight. Shes still playing and learning outstandingly and as far as I can tell shes healthy.

Any advice on what to do would be greatly appreciated as I'm at my wits end and its making me so stressed. My anxiety is through the roof.

She will be up soon and I dread to think how today's gonna go ☹😔😢

Is she still drinking? It’s not totally uncommon between about 2 & 5 for this to happen for a few months usually (unlikely to be sensory issue as she’s eaten all before)
Maybe cook together? Sometimes helps.
But if she’s drinking, just ensure she’s getting hydration, and you can do things like mix yoghurt with milk or make milkshake with icecream or do smoothies with fruit and veggies.
Fingers crossed x

My DC isn't at this stage yet but I used to look after my DN and he was exactly the same. He is still the same now and he's 6. Speak to your HV.
It's so horrible seeing them like it because all you can think about is the lack of things they are eating.
Sometimes it helped my DN to choose what he would like to eat and a lot of the time it was just plain pasta.
He still will hardly eat anything. Sorry I couldn't be much help I hope it gets better for you and she is just going through a stage that she'll quickly get over.
Have you tried to let her 'help' you cook it?

Ignore. She’s possibly doing it for attention. Keep offering her a variety of food. If she doesn’t eat it, don’t make a fuss but if she’s hungry later, offer the same food. Don’t get into the habit of offering different foods.

Are you eating meals at the same tome? Does she have what you have?

I know she’s a bit young but see if you can get her to help with food prep.

Also there’s no need to write the baby name for what you’re giving her on here. It sounds ridiculous, we’re not 2, we know what a banana is!

Thanks mimi,
That's actually a really good idea. I have tried cooking with her and letting her help plate her food up but I never thought of smoothies. I'll try that today as she still drinks. Sometimes maybe too much. I think she fills herself up on water or juice sometimes x

I can’t get past the baby names for food...

Btw I say this as someone who apparently was a great eater at 2 but then got really fussy. My Dd did exactly the same, she’s now much better

Thanks so much for the replies.
I do let her help with food. I try to get her to eat the same time as us and I make her the same food.

I'm aware that adults know what a banana is I'm just writing what she asks for but then refuses to eat it. If you think its ridiculous then that's unfortunate for you. Thanks again for your reply. Have a great day

It's fairly common around that age to suddenly become fussy. It tends to coincide with the time when kids would wander further from the tribe so it was important they were cautious with food and didn't start eating anything dangerous. They do tend to grow out of it but it's important not to turn food into a battle ground.

My twins went through a phase around 18 months where they just wouldn’t eat anything, maybe a few crackers and a cup of milk over an entire day, when previously they would eat any veggies/meat/fish/fruit. The more I tried to get them to eat, the more they refused. They also were not malnourished/losing weight etc.

They attended childcare one day a week and I mentioned it to their key worker after a few weeks and she said they ate everything there (childcare provided morning snack, lunch and afternoon snack), and that if a child was really hungry or starving they would eat whatever was served to them, even if they didn’t like it. She also advised this was fairly normal - often a control tactic - and that if I acted unconcerned about it they would likely start eating normally very soon.

I was skeptical, but she was right. I continued to give them food to eat on a plate, but didn’t show concern or force them to try to eat when they said they weren’t hungry and within a week or two they were back to eating everything.

Based on my experience I would suggest not forcing it and see if your child changes their in a week or two. If not, you may need to speak to your GP or health visitor for guidance. Good luck!

My daughter almost reverse weaned herself and refused almost all foods from about 1 to when she was 2.5. She'd only have milk. I had her to the hospital, saw dieticians etc. The advice was to just keep trying her on the food but give her the milk if that wAs what she wanted. She did grow out of it and eats pretty well now

And tell your dh to stop telling her off. It won’t help, it’ll turn mealtimes into a battlefield.

Thanos - how patronising. Think you're the one who sounds ridiculous!

This sounds bad when I write it, but my ds went through a phase of only eating meals when sat in front of the TV. He would zone out and I would spoon in food. It was the only way he would eat food that wasn't sweets or crisps for probably a six month period.

He's mid twenties now and eats everything and anything! On Christmas day he was hoovering up everyone's leftovers.

Just keep trying different tactics. There's often no rhyme or reason for these things, it's nothing you've done, and at some point it will improve.

A grown women using the words choco butts, tayto and narna to other grown women and I’m ridiculous. Ok.

Op, good luck with your dd’s eating. Hopefully it is a phase as I and others have said, try not to get stressed out ( easier said then done I know). I’d also recommend dr Tanya Byron, she had some great tips on her old shoes.

I have no idea what choco butts are. Is it "chocolates"?

Ofgs.

Chocolate buttons.

HTH

There’s a Facebook group called mealtime hostage you might find it useful

Shoes? Shows

Nanny - ah that makes sense. Thank you.

Both my two have done this. My daughter is 2 on monday and still has days like it. We just put food on her plate and ignore the dont like it comments. We put a mixture of foods we know she likes and foods she's not tried. Some days she clears her plate, others she has a bite or two. We dont tell her off because she's two and it makes mealtimes more stressful. It's hard but if she's not unwell she'll eat when she's hungry.

Sorry but when I saw Tayto I couldn't understand why you were giving her a spoonful of crisps.

I have a DD with bad acid reflux. It was identified when she was a baby due to her spitting up and crying.
At that age, around 2, she was also a very fussy eater because of the acid reflux. She would not eat anything acidic- so no fruits, hardly any vegetables (peas only), no chocolate, no dairy (except a tiny bit of cheese or yogurt), and only drank water. It seemed she could only stomach starchy things.
I only mention because your DD is avoiding acidic foods too. So consider getting her examined for stomach issues. It could be that when she eats those things, her tummy hurts and that is why she is avoiding food.

My DD went through a similar phase around 18 months. So much that she was in the 90 centile height wise, but only 10% weight. She was referred to a pediatrician although GP wasn't concerned as she was developing fine. Paediatrician words were that when she was hungry she would eat and again, said that as long as she met her milestones, he wasn't concerned.

She was a very small eater all through childhood and was very skinny until she started secondary school. Then suddenly, she discovered food and by the time she was 16, she was slim, but not skinny any longer. She is now at Uni after getting top marks at her A levels and has put on even more weight to the point that she had become a bit chubby. She's joined the gym and is now a perfect weight.

Keep an eye on it, but don't panic. My sister was just the same (unlike me who never stopped loving food!).

I wouldn't make any fuss at all about it, if she doesn't want to eat much just clear away the plates if she says she has finished, offer some fruit or something as dessert and leave the table. I do think these issues are often about learning they have control and testing boundaries, making a fuss over and trying to cajole her into eating can be counterproductive.

Saying that, my toddlers sometimes don't want what's on their plate, but will then start taking food from our plates, even if we're having the same thing! So sometimes we'd then put some of our's on to their plate and they think they're getting something special 🤷‍♀️

I think it's a very common phase for a lot of children. If she's not losing weight, is energetic and drinking enough then I wouldn't worry. Easier said than done though. A paediatric dietician once told me it's my job to provide a mix of healthy foods, but it's the DC's job to eat and I can't force them. Just try to relax, sit down together for meals and let her eat as much as she likes of what is on offer without fuss.