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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Moving

16 replies

Newmummy1234 · 28/12/2019 08:02

I’m not sure if we are being massively unreasonable. We currently live in the south east where children are at school. We rent but with such high rents affording to buy is unlikely as we can never save with such high rent!
Over the past ten years we have thought about moving to Cornwall mainly as DH’s daughter from first marriage lives there.
A job has come up that would be ideal for me in Cornwall. In Cornwall with the job I do we could afford to rent somewhere nice and start saving for a deposit. However the lack of job prospects for my children when they leave school would concern me.

Would it be completely unreasonable to move to Cornwall for the duration of DCs primary school and move back to the south east for secondary school having hopefully saved a deposit to buy (somewhere tiny!) in the south east?

OP posts:
BillHadersNewWife · 28/12/2019 08:08

I think that the security of a home and a beautiful part of the world outweighs the other thing. We live in a semi rural part of South Australia but we also considered Cornwall. We have also thought about our DC's career prospects and the fact is, they will likely move to a larger city...most kids here do....either for uni or after they've qualified.

Same in Cornwall.

BillHadersNewWife · 28/12/2019 08:09

Oh...I missed the last part! I think it a bit silly to think about moving back for secondary...you won't be able to save enough. OP....kids these days have to go where the work is...many return home after a few years anyway.

Original poster
Newmummy1234 · 28/12/2019 08:17

I’m not thinking that we would have saved enough solely from living there. But 7 years of paying half the amount of rent but still getting the same salary would certainly help! Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
Newmummy1234 · 28/12/2019 08:29

I think I’m sick of paying sky high rent and constantly needing to move as landlords decide to sell or move back in. Currently have no stability for my DC and in desperate need of a plan to own a house!

OP posts:
WeeDangerousSpike · 28/12/2019 08:46

I'm in Cornwall. I've decided in my case that if I were to relocate I would be unlikely to be able to afford to move back. (I'm not in a particularly high earning profession, and the higher paying roles don't exist in Cornwall)

I love living here, and it's fabulous having the coast and moors for DD.

What generally happens is that kids go away for uni and stay away. Or they go into hospitality / catering / art / design that has a big presence in Cornwall. Or something that can be done remotely.

If you can command the same salary here as in the SE, it's a complete no brainer IMO. The quality of life will be so much better, you'll have the funds to get up to London / big cities for the culture if and when you want to. Best of both worlds.

I wouldn't go back for the kids secondary - I'd look at private school instead if you're concerned. But tbh a state school here and a state school in the SE aren't going to be that different, except perhaps in terms of being a multicultural environment. I presume you don't mean to send them private in the SE?

Original poster
Newmummy1234 · 28/12/2019 08:56

Thank you. The idea behind moving back for secondary is that they will have friends when they go to college here as I’d want to be back here due there being so many jobs available x

OP posts:
WeeDangerousSpike · 28/12/2019 12:38

But surely in all probability they'll go away from home to uni, so whether you're in the SW or the SE it won't matter? If you mean Saturday jobs while they're at 6th form there's plenty of jobs in supermarkets and cafes etc etc in the SW which I imagine are the same as the Saturday jobs they'd be looking for in the SE? I don't think I understand what you're driving at - I'm not being deliberately obtuse, honest!

4amWitchingHour · 28/12/2019 12:41

You wouldn't have to move back to the south east for jobs, there would be enough opportunities in the south west! Fewer in Cornwall, but what about Exeter, Plymouth, or being near Bristol or Bath? You could look at your options when they're older without having to go all the way back across the country where it's vastly more expensive

madcatladyforever · 28/12/2019 12:48

I'd stay in Cornwall. I lived in the southeast for the last 30 years and its an overpriced shit hole with horrible angry people and traffic everywhere.
I've just moved to the West Country and couldn't be happier. I don't know how I stuck the south east for so long.

madcatladyforever · 28/12/2019 12:50

And there aren't loads of jobs in the southeast either, it's a phallacy. I struggled to find work there for years, was always being made redundant. I'm doing fine here.

BillHadersNewWife · 28/12/2019 12:51

I do think you're focusing on the wrong thing with the idea of moving back OP. Your children will likely not want to move back at that age...and there won't be any need to. They will make friends in Cornwall....they can go to college or uni if you live in Cornwall and as the previous poster said

they go into hospitality / catering / art / design that has a big presence in Cornwall. Or something that can be done remotely.

That's how it's done. Or they move to a bigger city. I live in what's I suppose, the equivalent of Cornwall...in a country town in Australia. It's full of jobs in catering, caring, arts and general office work. And of course, many people work remotely or run small businesses.

Lots of the kids here just move to the bigger cities for work if they can't find what they want. That's what happens anyway when your children grow up.

Movinghouseatlast · 28/12/2019 13:02

I have just moved to Cornwall and the way of life is just far far better than in the congested south east. But it is beaches and swimming and boating the kids do rather than shopping and cinema!

I miss theatre, there is hardly anything in this area, also having a decent gym nearby. Other than that I miss nothing at all.

Kids move away for university anyway. I moved from Manchester to London and never went back apart from to visit.

If you are a professional- doctor, lawyer, teacher then there are jobs of course. But other professions not so much opportunity.

You need to be careful where you move to- a large village or small town so you aren't having to do everything by car. We nearly got seduced by the most stunning house in a remote location. We kept telling ourselves it was only 5 minutes drive from where we are now, a decent size village. Now we are actually living here we've realised that that house, although it really was the dream house, would have been a huge mistake!

Original poster
Newmummy1234 · 28/12/2019 14:17

I think the thing about moving back to the south east is for a few reasons.
I know my DSD started getting sick of Cornwall in her early teenage years due to “nothing to do” (her words not mine).
I want my children to have a childhood in Cornwall but understand that they may not find it so idyllic when they are teenagers.
I have a job that I can do anywhere :) x

OP posts:
BillHadersNewWife · 28/12/2019 14:23

I don't think the opinion of one relative is good enough to base your entire future on OP. If you live in Cornwall, in or close to one of the towns, there are bus services and train services. Kids manage. They just get lifts, buses and trains to the cinema or wherever they're going.

Didiusfalco · 28/12/2019 14:23

The moving to Cornwall bit sounds good. The moving back sounds bonkers for all sorts of reasons. If I were you I would move and take it from there.

BillHadersNewWife · 28/12/2019 21:20

Yes, it's always good to keep an open mind OP. Saying "We can always move back if it doesn't work out or if we're not happy" is the best thing,

You won't settle and neither will your DC if it's so temporary.

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