Would you let someone treat you badly because they're depressed?

[lostandconfused2]

Exactly that, really. If they're lashing out at you verbally, picking fights, making rude comments and criticising you. Would you say okay, see you later, or keep forgiving them because they're going through a bad time with their mental health? When do you say enough is enough?

No. I wouldn't let anyone treat me badly under any circumstances.

From experience... I said I'd only stay if he got help. So he took medication, exercise, stopped drinking (that wasn't problem drinking but stopping helps). Got some therapy. So I put up with some awfulness. But not much.

I left my exh because of his mental health issues. Almost 10 years on he resents me for leaving when he was ill.
I put up with a lot from him, thinking I was supporting him for better or worse, but really when I was attempting to protect him from real life I was enabling him.
He was verbally abusive. I was walking on eggshells, not knowing how his mood would be. I couldn’t trust him to look after our baby as he would leave her in soiled nappies as he was too depressed to have the energy to change her. He wouldn’t take the medication prescribed to him or engage in counselling. His mental health made him incredibly selfish.
So, after 10 years together and 3 of him being ill I did leave. The best thing I did for myself and my daughter. I lost so much of myself trying to help him.
I wanted him to get better, I wanted to support him, I wanted to help but I eventually came to realise he wasn’t interested in helping himself.
I know people who have stayed with depressed partners and it has worked out.
Only you will know how much you can give and when enough is enough.

No I wouldn’t. Because there’s no excuse and because it doesn’t do them any favours in the long run

Depression can make people very difficult to be around and they deserve support but they still need to observe boundaries with respect to decent behaviour towards others.

I have seen this situation play out in multiple cases where a depressed individual starts to depend really heavily on their spouse/flat mate/friends and uses them as a kind of prop and refuses to observe decent standards of behaviour with them because they are depressed.

No.

I was verbally, emotionally, and physically abused by my sister for over 30 years because she has MH difficulties. Everyone kept making excuses for her behaviour.

It's been hell and has taken a lot of counselling.

MH isn't an excuse to be a dickhead to people. I will never tolerate or advise anyone to tolerate that sort of behaviour.

Enough is enough from the first episode!

When do you say enough is enough?

Sorry, OP, I don’t think any of us can say when enough is enough for you. But however their mental health is, they should - overall - treat you with respect.

My DP has a bout of depression, and at times was unreasonable. It didn’t ever get to a point that I would leave, but looking back, it was harder work than I realised at the time. I don’t regret staying, but I do wonder if I made too many allowances at times. It wasn’t helped by the fact that I didn’t have anyone to offload to, but that was broadly my choice, I’m not a talker at the best of times, and I wasn’t on MN, which could have helped.

But it’s tough, OP, really tough. If you feel you need support, reach out for it, and don’t be anybody’s punch-bag. Life’s too short.

Good luck.

No. You are nobody’s whipping post.

And I say that as someone who’s currently rattling with 5 different types of psych meds.

Fuck no.

I did. For years. Was made to feel like shit if I dared speak out of line about his MH for years. Didn't stop him being an absolute wanker to me, and that's why I broke up with him.

Going through the same thing with my mum now. Struggling.

No way.
Depression is an illness not an excuse. I believe they are separate issues.
Unless they suffered from PTSD or MH issues known to cause outbursts, I'd try to understand but I wouldn't like it.

My DM suffers with debilitating depression as long as I can remember, she is gentle and sweet.

I could write a lot of what TotheletterofthelawTHELETTER wrote.

My ex had (may still have) depression. But he was also an abusive prick and I spent far, far too long walking on eggshells around him. The DC and I have flourished since leaving, and they don't want to see their dad at all. Their choice, I've never stood in their way.

No.

Only if it was a very short term thing while seeking medical support and starting new medication if required.

If they was not seeking medical help or the bad treatment appeared to be ongoing, I wouldn't stand for it

No, not acceptable. Does the individual accept he/she has problems? Have they been to the doctor?

My ex had a really tough time with his health and his mental health took a nose drive as his drinking increased. He left during a metal health crisis, I probably would have clung on as I knew he was in there somewhere. In saying that I didn't realise how awful it had become until I was away, it has taken a long time to repair the damage his illness did to me. Its so difficult only you know the answer but you need to remember your own health while you try and figure out the answer.

No!

Depression is not an excuse to be a wanker. Lots of people have it tough and don’t go round treating others like crap

F

No. I did for to long then it started to affect my MH

Life is too short for that shit.