My mum doesn’t buy me anything for Christmas.

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I would explain my relationship with my mum as ‘okay’. we aren’t overly close as such. We are complete opposites but we maintain a relationship for the sake of the kids. I see her maybe once or twice a month. I won’t go into great detail here. We don’t fall out or argue anymore..

We went over to visit Christmas Day. She had bought a few bits for the kids. Nothing too much which I was grateful for as have no room for loads of toys anyway.

I buy presents for my mum, her husband my siblings, brothers girlfriend etc.

I get nothing.

It’s not a financial issue here. My younger siblings (they are a lot younger than me) had masses. She had also bought stuff for my uncles, their families but me nothing!!

I’m not the confrontational type. I didn’t mention it but this is usually the case each year. She believes that once you have children your presents go to them which I kinda get somewhat BUT she buys loads of gifts for other people. Even her bloody neighbours and distant relatives.

This isn’t limited to Christmas either. Don’t really get much for birthdays either.

Every year mil buys me something nice or gifts me a voucher and every year my mum asks what she bought me and I tell her and it doesn’t seem to bother her that my own mother in law bothers more.

I thinks she thinks that we are in a better financial
Situation than us she doesn’t need to buy something. This is rubbish btw. My stepdad earns more than Oh they just have a lot more outgoings and terrible with money. We are sensible .

I think she gets kind she jealous that we have a nice house that we own and a nice car. Yet we haven’t had a holiday in years and they had 3 last year so they need to prioritise in my opinion. They drink heavily and spend a lot on alcohol. We don’t drink.

I just feel pushed aside, left out, unimportant.

I would pick out nice presents for my family. I like buying gifts, nothing too expensive but thoughtful but this year I decided only to spend a minimal amount and truthfully it felt great. I had more money to spend on my children.

So what's the issue? She has said once you have children the presents are for them not you, you spent less this year and felt great. Long may it continue?

Even if your mother and stepdad didnt take so many holidays or stopped drinking they would still treat you the same. I would act accordingly. Just tell them next year that you guys won't be exchanging presents.

Thank you. She does say to buy for the children but she buys for all sorts of family and friends that surely she could buy me a small gift??

You may have issues with your mother but why dint your siblings buy you a gift? If they have romantic partners they are old enough! Frankly at a later date I'd ask the one you are closest to why none of them have bought you a gift and why they think your mother doesn't.
I don't generally buy gifts for anyone other than immediate family and for the people that are coming for Christmas dinner. I send my in laws a bunch of Christmas flowers as I generally don't see them over the holidays (I'm a widow and live some distance away from them).

I'd also add that your relative financial situation should have nothing to do with it unless one side is struggling.

YANBU I find it odd that she buys gifts for her siblings, neighbours but not you.
I would just scale back what you buy for her.
It's not the amount it's the thought. She could get you a bottle of fizz for £10. Or some nice chocolates.

Why on earth do you bother buying her anything when you know what will happen? Don't. And if she kicks off, tell her she told you that people with children don't get presents, their children do and that's why you've bought for your siblings.

It's hurtful as she seems to get gifts for all the adults apart from you. I don't think YABU to feel hurt but I'd just adapt my expectations in future. Don't bother buying for her and don't go out of your way to spend Christmas there unless you and the kids actually enjoy it.

My dad stopped as soon as we had kids.. Only the youngest has gifts as she is college age.no kids.

He gets the kids a small gift. There's 8 grandkids so he can't get loads..

I still buy for him and always would.

My Mum,doesn't buy me anything for Christmas, perhaps because she died fifteen years ago. But when alive.she used to always get me a Cat calendar. which was lovely. I always asked her not to get me anything, but a calendar she always bought for me.

I used to buy her a calendar as well,only with flowers or beautiful gardens on. when she died all those years ago,I had to go and empty her flat, and I found at least 30 old calendars with flowers and gardens on,that she had saved for all the years.. So I cut a few pictures from them,and framed them,now in my bathroom.!

I think the no presents may be fine IF it was universal... But to not buy for your daughter but to make an effort with neighbours /distant relatives is in insulting

This is mean considering she buys for so many others. I would stop buying for her but you probably won't and this is how arseholes get away with it.

I’d say something.
She could just buy you a nice box of chocolates to acknowledge you but I’d also stop buying for her and your stepdad and also if your siblings don’t buy you anything stop buying for them.
Some people don’t give to receive but it’s often not the present, it’s the thought.