To feel really lonely this xmas

[lottiedelavega]

I have a small family, my parents are really two faced and bitchy about people so I've made the decision to not go to a family get together tonight.

My only child is going with them, yesterday he was over his dad's so I spent that evening alone too. I don't want him staying home with me as he is looking forward to it.

A guy who is home for Xmas and I was supposed to be seeing over the Xmas holidays has only messaged once and is far more interested in nights out with his friends. I've been waiting for two months to see him too.

And I have NO friends.

Another night in alone tonight and I'm sat here with tears rolling down my cheeks. And the thing is, I remember last Xmas being the same. Christmas Day is always amazing. And then just downhill from there. Nothing has changed in a year. I'm 29 years of age and I feel like a single 70 year old with no friends.

I'm so sorry OP that sounds really hard I hope 2020 brings better times for you.

I met lovely people through volunteering, maybe that could be an option for meeting friends?

Just wanted to tell you that you're not alone, OP. We're all here.

Happy Christmas.

Hi lovely.

I’m kind of the same. I’m 31 and 9 weeks pregnant too. I live alone so I’m a bit used to it but Christmas never feels any easier does it! My boyfriends family live ages away so anything social depends on doing stuff with my family, whether that’s Christmas time or otherwise tbh.

A lot of my friends now live miles away or we’ve just fell out of touch. I have a great family but same as you I can take the, in small doses.

Treat the new year as a way to get out and make the effort to meet people, join a class, yoga, a gym, female book group or something. I should listen to my own advice! But you deffo aren’t completely alone, although I know it feels that way. Have you got anything planned for NYE? Xx

Many people feel lonely. I feel isolated due to my long term depression and anxiety but try to have a couple of social things no matter how small. is there anybody you could reach out to who you haven't seen in a while? Maybe suggest a quick coffee of something?

Me too. Although I have a partner my kids went to their dads yesterday. I'm feeling lonely and unavoidable. Used to have lots of local friwbds but times change. I planned to sit and think today to try to figure out what will make me happy in life bit have napped, eaten chocolate and spent time on the internet. Felt bad I was wasting my time but maybe i need it. What I plan to do is think what hobbies or interests I can get into. I loved having loads of friends but also appreciate the space I have now and hoping to find out what makes me tick without distraction and influence if that makes sense. Ps sack the guy off and be kind to yourself

Why is your son going to a family event that you don't feel comfortable enough to go to yourself?

I really do need to take up a hobby. My life is work and my son. The odd 'friend' I do have just wants night out with loads of drink, and I can't drink more than one glass of wine. Clubbing doesn't appeal to me so the friendship fizzles our. The only thing that brings me happiness is my wonderful kind son. And even though I love him to bits, he has a better social life than me and I feel like I'm relying on just him to make me happy and that's not fair on him.

Every man that starts talking to me has something severely wrong with them- and because of that I'm scared to talk to anyone. I wouldn't dare us dating sites as the men I have come across I have met through daily life- I dread to think what they are hiding online.

I just can't believe I felt like this, this time last year, and not a thing has changed.

@notanurse2017 i just don't want to go. My parents were being two faced about a certain person there (perhaps rightly so) but it ended in words between myself and my parents yesterday. Not an argument. But I just can't deal with the fakeness and pretend smiles when I'm feeling like this.

It's just normal family stuff I guess.

Yeah honestly, a hobby changes your mindset and you instantly find like minded people.

I’m not a big drinker either so people would stop asking me in the end as they’d always be on for a big one and I just wouldn’t, and now they doubly don’t ask since the pregnancy! But I just try to shrug it off and I end up pleasing myself. There’s more people in our boat than you think and cliche as it sounds you never know what’s round the corner, friendships wise and fellas!

It’s time to make a change Lottie.
You only have one life and you have to take it by the reins and make the most of it.

Make a plan for 2020.
Do some things you’d never thought of doing.
Try new hobbies.
Meet new people.
Go places.

thank you everyone. Just had a bath and feeling slightly better. Ever so slightly. It's my sons birthday on Sunday and I've been looking everywhere for a particular present for him, and his amazing dad just phoned to say he found it, so that has cheered me up a little.

I said the same about hobby's last year and I started swimming. Gave it up half way through the year stupidly. Really enjoyed it, but I think I need a hobby where I meet people. Anyone know if there are any apps for people who want friends (not relationships)

Anyone have any ideas? I live in quite a boring place where not much goes on.

Hmm...there’s things like citysocialiser and meetup. I’m northwest based if that’s any good!!

Glad you’re feeling better 😊 !