To think life is easier for extroverts ?

[Lardlizard]

I think I’m naturally extroverted, then I went through a Hugh life changing loss and have been introverted for the best part of the last almost 8 years
I still see bits of the old me coming up more n more
But I realise now life was a lot easier when your more extroverted

Following with interest as an introvert

There are pros & cons to each I think.

I'm an introvert but not shy (I used to be so I know how lonely it can be).

While I'll never thrive on constant social interaction I'm the life & soul of the parties I do choose to go to.

I do admire extroverts for their ability to make small talk, it's a skill I will probably never develop and have no real desire to master apart from civil hello-how-are-you-we're-having-a-lot-weather stuff.

But I feel really sorry for those extreme extroverts who seem completely unable to be alone, ever. It must be a precarious way to live.

I think it's hard/easy for both, depending whether your lifestyle fits with your introversion/extroversion.

I'm an extrovert. I want to be with people virtually all the time. But no just with people, interacting with people.

My DH and most of my kids are introverts, so when at home they spend most of their time in their personal caves. Leaving me climbing the walls.

DH often offers to do school run/swimming lessons etc as a favour to me so I can have a 'rest'. No. Please don't leave me stuck here, that 5 mins chat at the school gate/coffee in the pool cafe, keeps me sane.
(Obviously sometimes he wants to do it to take a share in parenting and that is fine)

I would struggle living alone. I worry what will happen if DH dies before me.

"I would struggle living alone. I worry what will happen if DH dies before me."

This is one of my biggest fears, I think about it to an unhealthy level.

Like many who have posted, I was more of an extrovert when I was younger. Now I am a very happy and contented introvert. I work from home and rarely go out and socialise now and I love it, it’s like a weight has been lifted. I have two cats which are all the company I need! I do find it quite tiring now being around other people. I’m still confident if I do need to mingle but I prefer not to now. I am an introvert by choice, it has not been forced upon me and maybe that makes a difference?

More socially acceptable to be an extrovert, especially when you're young, and easier to cope in a lot of workplaces that are all about teamwork. But I prefer being introvert really because I'm self reliant, I can choose when to spend time with people and when to be alone. If you need people around you all the time then you're very dependent on others.

But I prefer being introvert really because I'm self reliant, I can choose when to spend time with people and when to be alone. If you need people around you all the time then you're very dependent on others.

I agree. I look at people who would never even consider going on holiday - or even to the cinema - without company, or who can't spend an evening alone without frantically texting people they barely know, and I feel a bit sorry for them.

particularly in regards to assertiveness

I don't think this is linked to introversion. That is just your husband.

@Teateaandmoretea perhaps, but I'm not just talking about my husband, the more extroverted people I know tend to be the more assertive when it comes to work, poor customer service, that kind of thing, it's related to dealing with people isn't it, my husband likes to avoid dealing with people where possible and that does hold him back, he would never complain about a meal and send it back for example. I'm not saying it's directly related to being introverted, but it's part of his introverted personality.

The people I can think of who accept behaviours I wouldn't tend to be more introverted in personality, less confrontational. I am generalising, obviously.

Or perhaps extroverts are just louder and more easily heard

Agreed. When I was better at faking extrovertism life was so much easier. I'm an introvert and while I have many good friends I would say I find social stuff far harder and don't walk into a room and make friends or network like extroverts do which leads to more opportunities for them.

I don't think being introvert is about not being able to deal with people. That is poor social skills. Most introverts have perfectly good social skills and interestingly some extroverts don't.

I think in reality we're all individuals and the vast majority of people are a mixture of both. Personally I can deal with social situations but find being surrounded by people tiring after a while. Most people would see me as extrovert. I tend to end up disappointing friends as I make them but then they don't understand I like my own space. They think I don't like them 🤦🏻‍♀️

it's related to dealing with people isn't it

Not really, no. Many extroverts have very poor social skills, while many introverts have excellent social skills. It's more about the situations where you feel most 'yourself', most at ease with who you are. For introverts this is about being alone, for extroverts it's about being with others. Nothing to do with social skills.

I'm not saying it's directly related to being introverted, but it's part of his introverted personality.

Introversion is just one of a person's personality traits. So I'd say it's about your husband's personality, not about his 'introverted personality'.

Agreeing here that being assertive isn't directly related to extroversion. There are extroverts who are assertive and introverts who are assertive just as there are extroverts And introverts with poor social skills. I tend to find the introverts with poor social skills do tend to appear unconfident and difficult to talk to, whilst extroverts with poor social skills tend to talk too much and fail to read cues that the listener has had enough.
Another extrovert trait is that they make decisions on the spot whereas introverts ponder things more.
I love being an introvert but I think that it was harder being one in my teenage years.
It's also hard work when you have young children.
I do think that, like most things, somewhere in the middle is probably the easiest.

I'm an introvert. I don't know if it's easier to be an extrovert as I've never been one. I do resent extroverts assuming that there's something wrong with me because I prefer being alone to going to the pub or partying, I just dont function that way.

I now realise I am an ambivert ( extrovert and introvert).

It depends on the situation and the mood I am in!

I can be first on the dance floor and last off, telling jokes and having a great time, or I can be the red faced loner in the corner, struggling for conversation!

I was definitely more of an extrovert when younger, but an abusive marriage will choke it out of you. (Literally )

My life would be easier if I were an extrovert, but I think it depends on individual circumstances. I work in an open plan office and I find being around people very draining - I make an effort with social expectations in work and my social skills are fine, but I find that my evenings and weekends are basically used to recover from having to interact with people all week. My heart sinks if one of my friends wants to meet up after work because, while it's nice to see them, it's another exhausting social activity after an already exhausting social day.

My life would be a lot easier if I could find a job where I work alone, but unfortunately most jobs tend to involve other people to some extent.

whilst extroverts with poor social skills tend to talk too much and fail to read cues that the listener has had enough.

Yep MIL I'm looking at you .......

I've learnt a new term 'ambivert', thank you. That is absolutely what I am. I can relax and enjoy the company of others to the point where I feel tired and need to be on my own before my head bursts.

I think it's easier to be an extroverted kid than an introverted one as I found extroverted, confident behaviour tended to be rewarded and quieter kids tended to get treated by teachers and other grown ups as if there was something omething wrong with them and they had to change.

I think being an introvert gets easier as you get older.

@lexiepuppy 💐

Introversion has nothing at all to do with confidence, assertiveness, social skills, etc.

I'm highly confident, great at networking and public speaking, can work a room, have loads of people who want to be fwends...

...But I'm massively introverted and need huge amounts of alone-time in order to function. Being around people drains my battery very, very quickly.

As others say, definitely nothing to do with social skills at all.

I would say I am more extroverted and like being around people. I get low very quickly when I’m on my own. However I can be hugely awkward and lack confidence in situations where I don’t know people so end up generally miserable. I’m great around friends, but it can take me months to build up to a level I feel comfortable at to ‘hold court’.

As others have also said though, with age I’ve developed better social skills at being more assertive.

I’m an introvert too. I love spending time with family & friends, both physically & online, but within limits. I’ve just stayed with family for 3 nights & while it was lovely, I couldn’t have done any longer. I need to be able to come home & shut my front door on the world.

As for the idea of other people living in my flat with me... I couldn’t. I just couldn’t.