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AIBU?

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7 replies

Fortheloveofdogs20 · 26/12/2019 22:55

So my husbands sister is pregnant with her second baby, but there isn't exactly joy in the family at the minute considering she's in a bad relationship and he doesn't pay for their first baby. My husband is so angry he won't talk about it and his mam is upset as there is 7 of them living in the house.

With all of that happening I don't know whether to be happy or upset 🤔 I don't know whether to be happy or upset

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Am I being unreasonable?

AIBU

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MaybeMaybeNotJ · 27/12/2019 09:22

Talk to her? It can’t be nice for her to feel only Ill feelings.

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ShiveringCoyote · 27/12/2019 09:24

This poor woman needs support. Her confidence must be dragging on the floor to feel she can't do better than a deadbeat excuse of a man.

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sirmione16 · 27/12/2019 09:34

I agree, you may be someone as a woman and without being too close (as in not directly related) may be just the person she needs to be behind her and someone to talk to. Hope you feel you can be that person and not judge her. Depends on what she's like too.

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Fortheloveofdogs20 · 27/12/2019 09:43

Of course I've spoken to her, she s delighted, but her family aren't.

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Fortheloveofdogs20 · 27/12/2019 09:45

Well that's the issue really, how can I have a sincere conversation with someone who refuses to tell the truth, she keeps lying about him. I asked her one time did she want me to give her a lift to the shopping centre with her 6 year old, she said no I said OK. Turns out she was actually going to meet her ex, she didn't want me to know. I was hurt by this how could I not. So I stopped giving advice and leave her to it.

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NomNomNomNom · 27/12/2019 09:46

I think it's ok for you to feel ambivalent about the pregnancy but I would prioritise supporting her unconditionally. She probably knows her partner is a bit shit and the living situation not ideal. The thing that will enable her to change her situation it will be confidence and support not everyone pointing out what she already knows.

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Jiggeriepokerie · 27/12/2019 10:24

Fortheloveofdogs20

I'm not sure what help you're looking for. You've made it clear you're not interested because she's lied to you in the past. By the sounds of things she lies to family because she gets a hard time if she tells the truth.

Poor woman.

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