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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

so.. was it worth it?

114 replies

peachesandclean · 26/12/2019 09:01

The money, the stress, the time spent organising and shopping, delivering, the effort of wrapping and cooking, the shopping, the early mornings, the elbow shoving in M&S, the countless arguments everyone has seemingly had,
was it worth it to you, or are you waking up today feeling deflated and poor

OP posts:
Deemail · 26/12/2019 09:23

We had a lovely Christmas didn't go mad or spend more than we could afford but no all the effort is not worth it for one day.
No matter how simple you keep it, there's still decorations to be put up and replaced if necessary. Every day involves turning on and off battery/electric light ones. Presents have to be decided on, bought, hidden and wrapped. Extra food is bought and efforts to see friends and wider family made.

For the amount of money we spent on gifts we could've had a nice break away.

Arrowfanatic · 26/12/2019 09:24

I had an awesome christmas. I actually really enjoy the shopping, food buying, preparation etc.

We had a quieter xmas as just the 5 of us, no extra guests so the kids stayed in pjs all day and i didnt have to worry about tidying constantly and my lazy ass sister.

Sure the kids had a few arguments, as they do any other day of the year, and my husband had a headache (probably from alcohol) so he went to snooze for a couple of hours.

But i thoroughly enjoyed it & am now getting ready for a boxing day party at ours but still with fewer guests than previous years.

jeremypaxo · 26/12/2019 09:28

I don't particularly want to join the smug pile-on as I have had stressful Christmas days in the past and realise it can be a very tough time of year, particularly for women who are under pressure to make it "perfect" for everyone else. However, I did have a great Christmas this year, largely thanks to my mum and brother doing most of the food, Ocado delivering the rest and my DH working like a Trojan to keep us all fed and watered while we played with the baby.

We had nice food, went for a walk, played games. No arguments! Hooray.

Ninkanink · 26/12/2019 09:33

We do very low key Christmases, no stress or hassle involved. We stay at home and relax. My OH and I didn’t do gifts between each other this year, or last, and my grown up daughters get a big fuss on their birthdays (both in the latter part of the year) and a small fuss at Christmas. I bought the grand total of four presents this Christmas, all done online. We did our Christmas grocery shop over about a month, buying a few things each week. We did our final Christmas shop of perishables on the 22nd, and have been relaxing since then.

Christmas is what you make it. We choose to make ours quiet and peaceful. It’s definitely worth it.

PanicAndRun · 26/12/2019 09:34

Well DD's words before going to bed were "best Christmas ever!" so that would definitely make it all worth it.

But there was very little stress, the money is ok, we took turns wrapping, cooking was an hour and a half that we spent playing games and randomly shoving stuff in the oven as needed. We did the main food shop together and OH is the only want that went no M&S ,no idea if there was any elbowing involved.

We loved our presents,had a laugh,made OH to wear matching pyjamas. I even had a nap at some point.

Original poster
peachesandclean · 26/12/2019 09:35

When I said the early mornings, I should have elaborated, sorry i forgot

I saw a thread on here a few days ago where lots and lots of people had gotten up at like 5 and gone to tesco and was waiting for it to open (lots of people doing that on the thread) and I hear it a lot about people getting up before dawn to beat the crowds

OP posts:
Bluebell878275 · 26/12/2019 09:37

Christmas isn't over yet! Having a wonderful time so far, worth putting the effort in that I have anyway.

BatleyTownswomensGuild · 26/12/2019 09:39

Had a lovely day. DS (who is ASD, often in his own little world, rarely 'gets' Christmas and doesn't always get enthusiastic about gifts) was totally delighted by his main present and spent the entire day playing happily and enthusiastically. It was beautiful to watch. I wish I could bottle the feelings 😊

VisionQuest · 26/12/2019 09:39

The best bit was seeing my child open their presents. I really enjoyed that bit.

The rest of the day was ok. The family we were with aren't exactly scintillating company! There certainly weren't any arguments or anything but we just enjoy different things.

dottiedodah · 26/12/2019 09:39

Thankfully we had a nice chilled day .However Monday I went to S/B for the 3rd time in a row ,and was thoroughly fed up by then ! Afterwards 2 hour walk on beach with Dal to chill .Home to 4 loads of washing /drying and a "special meal" (cooked by me obviously) .Fell into bed shattered !

maddiemookins16mum · 26/12/2019 09:41

No stress or massive expense here.
Had a fab day.
Off to Brighton for two nights tomorrow and a trip to the Theatre to look forward too.

ferrier · 26/12/2019 09:42

I think the keys are to only be around people who don't argue and to only plan as much as you have time to prepare for. Decide what's important to you and forget the rest.

gingersausage · 26/12/2019 09:42

@AllergicToAMop I do the same as you. Bung a few extra things on each shop and then my husband pootles off round various supermarkets (which he likes doing) for the fresh stuff.

I reduced my effort levels to the bare minimum this year and no one even noticed. We had a lovely day eating party food and watching films in our pjs. Both kids are working today, so my husband and I will probably do the same again.

SilentTights · 26/12/2019 09:42

We also had a lovely day.

I quite like pressie buying and wrapping so that's fine.

We kept it otherwise low key so just like any Sunday but with pressies and a bit of a bigger dinner, more TV, less chores and a few choccies.

The key is to sod perfect and just aim to spend the day chilled out but with nice food.

Babybel90 · 26/12/2019 09:43

Yes, it was worth it. I started preparing in November this year, kept focussed on what we actually needed rather than panicking and rushing out to buy more “stuff” to make piles look bigger or have too much food in. We did what we wanted when we wanted and it was a lovely relaxing day!

Ninkanink · 26/12/2019 09:45

(But I absolutely agree with poster above me - I’m not smug, I know it’s relatively easy for me because it’s just four of us most years - my family lives in another country to me, and my ILs to-be have a big family so it’s just an open door policy at theirs and whoever wants to come is welcome. We spend Christmas there 1 year out of 3 or 4, which is about right for us. There are so many women who feel that intense pressure to please everyone all the time and who are expected to manage all the relationships, do all the work, buy all the presents and carry all the mental load. Yes, they could opt out but it’s not that easy to do when everyone else is playing into that dynamic.)

madcatladyforever · 26/12/2019 09:46

Christmas is so very difficult for people with no memories of a happy christmas, and who are not close to their families so yes even though I don't celebrate it was so hard to get through the day.
Spending money I don't have would have been even harder.

SVRT19674 · 26/12/2019 09:46

Kept it simple, no travelling and enjoyed with my husband and child. I'm satisfied yes.

Anniegetyourgun · 26/12/2019 09:47

Re the effort of wrapping, the shiny carrier bags that seem to be increasingly popular are a godsend for those of us who struggle with wrapping neatly, and I embraced them fully this year. Anything squishy, knobbly or not strictly rectangular went into the bags. Brilliant. To be honest I only papered-and-taped the DGCs' square pressies because small children like to rip paper off. My excuse is it's more environmentally friendly.

just5morepeas · 26/12/2019 09:49

It's been lovely thanks! :)

I've had a child with a bad cough and now dp with an upset stomach but I can't blame that on xmas!

Far better than last year when I was in and out of hospital. Like every year I swore I wasn't going to spend xmas eve wrapping presents and did but that's my fault! Otherwise I enjoyed it.

AuntieMarys · 26/12/2019 09:50

Great time here...festivities started on the 21st for us. No stress, no debt, no spending time with people we don't like. Lots of walking planned for next 4 days.

FairytaleofButlins · 26/12/2019 09:53

It's only Boxing Day, we are still bang in the middle of it!
Organising is the best way to relax during the whole holiday season.

I never feel poor because I don't spend more than I can afford. That helps.

Can't people chill and be happy, ever? It's not over yet!

Ninkanink · 26/12/2019 09:57

It’s definitely not over yet! 🎄🎄🎄We’re chilling on our own again today, and today or tomorrow we’re doing Christmas 2.0 with my daughters who were at their dad’s over Christmas. 🎄🎄🎄

SquareAsABlock · 26/12/2019 09:59

The money

This was the first Christmas we've had where money hasn't really been a big issue. Even with a couple of surprise bills in December. Previously we've stuck hard to a budget and not got ourselves stressed about it.

the stress

Christmas hasn't been half as stressful as other parts of December.

the time spent organising and shopping

Did most of it online. A click of a button and things magically appeared at the door. I quite enjoyed it.

delivering

Only had one thing to send, luckily our post office is a 10 minute walk away. Husband delivered all the cards.

the effort of wrapping and cooking

Again, husband did most of the wrapping as he weirdly enjoys it. I did his and a few for the children. I didn't do a Christmas meal, I refuse to spend most of the day in the kitchen whilst everyone else relaxes and watches shit tv. We had lots of snacks and party food.

the early mornings

Got up just after 8am, was about an hour later than normal.

the elbow shoving in M&S

Went into M and S twice, both times to pick up gifts. No shoving, no hassle, no stress.

the countless arguments everyone has seemingly had

I'm sorry some people had a tough time, I did snap after Christmas last year (see why we didnt have a big meal on the actual day this time). Not one cross word was spoken in this house though, not even with Tory-loving visitors and children who had a 90% diet of chocolate bouncing off the walls.

was it worth it to you, or are you waking up today feeling deflated and poor

The only disappointment was missing the Gavin and Stacey special, as PiL can't stand it. Otherwise all I'm feeling is very cosy in the gorgeous new dressing gown my husband kindly surprised me with. Less was definitely more for a nice day.

MT2017 · 26/12/2019 09:59

Didn't spend a fortune, Amazon delivered many of the gifts (bought 1 thing at the shop) which all arrived in time and in perfect condition.

DH wanted to do the meal and shopping for it and did so without complaint so assume that was fine for him.

No arguments, everyone (teens) up around 9.30am to open presents yesterday.

And my mum has just emailed to say what a lovely day she has had with us so all good here Xmas Smile