To maybe ask DH's family for vouchers next year?

[Mamalexi343]

So this might sound like I'm being ungrateful but I'm not, I'm incredibly grateful his family has bought DC gifts but here's the problem and would like some opinions.

Every year DH's family ask what DC would like for Christmas and I give them a list of various prices and every year they never get anything on the list.

Everything on the list are things I want to buy for DC myself but don't because they always say they'll buy them and we always end up with huge chunky toys that the kids won't play with or in DS case won't be able to play with for months as he's only 4 months old ATM. This means we have huge toys we have no room for as we've officially outgrown this house, even more so now (we've been looking for a bigger house but there's been nothing in our town for the last 6 months and toys on the list have been catered to this issue) and DC then don't get the presents they've really wanted because I haven't bought them after being told they would be bought by the family.

Again I'm so grateful for the thought and I know we're lucky to even have presents as so many don't but I'm sat here looking at my livingroom, massive toys everywhere and I don't even know where to start trying to find anywhere to put them, wibu to ask for vouchers next year? DC love being able to go into the toy shop and choose what they actually like or do I just grin and bare it whilst drowning in 6ft teddy bears and 4ft doll houses?

You could always give them a separate list but then buy the preferred stuff yourself.

We set up amason wish lists and it was so much easier this year.

If they don't get stuff off the list now they won't get vouchers. Just get the stuff you really want to get yourself and specify small presents to DH's family and say that unfortunately anything large won't fit in the house and will have to be donated.

An Amazon wishlist is a great idea thank you, will definitely try that one next year, I just feel bad as it looks like I'm complaining but I just can't live with all these toys all over the place with nowhere to put them, especially as they won't play with them as they aren't interested.

You dont have to keep it all.
In future, suggest things the kids would like, but wont be dissapointed with if they dont get. Buy the essential stuff yourself.

Return it and buy what the kids want. If they ask for a list then ignore it why should you have to put up with toys you have no space for and can't be used?

I have (sort of) successfully done this with my parents. They still buy us loads of stuff we just don’t need and can’t store. So not a complete success. However, one year my Mum got vouchers on the spur of the moment for my DC. They absolutely loved them and were so excited to choose what they wanted from the shop. We did a video call afterwards with them holding up their purchases and my parents were glad they enjoyed it. I will usually send them photos from our shopping trips (they don’t leave particularly nearby). We will usually go and have a coffee too which makes a day of it and again, take a photo. The other thing is that my mum takes great care over choosing the picture on the gift card and then my DC are excited to see it, especially if they are a hologram type one. They can still choose a small present to buy them if they want the excitement of choosing a present.

Now each year I ask for vouchers and emphasise how grown up it makes them feel that they can choose it themselves.

The key that I found was getting them to buy that first voucher instead of a big present.

Why on earth would they ask what they want then buy nothing on the list? It’s beyond weird. I love it when I get suggestions as then I know the kids will like it.

Why don’t you suggest that they take your DC out to choose something? Then they get the enjoyment of actually buying something and seeing them with it as well as getting something they’ll actually like. I suspect you could ask them for vouchers and they’ll do what they want anyway

Sell them on ebay like everyone else dpse or have a serious conversation with them about space.

I feel your frustration on the list thing.

My mum is like that. She asks for ideas so I allocate one or two of my ideas to her and then she does something totally different.

My sil is the opposite. She asks for links to specific items on amazon so that she can buy the right thing, then she gets it delivered to our house so that I can wrap it. Then she gets all the credit! Makes me laugh though, when I say to her 'thank you for xyz, they love it' when I am really telling her how well I have chosen something.

That hasn't answered your question at all, but I feel better for having got it off my chest

If they don’t buy things on the list stop bothering making a list and buy those things yourself to avoid disappointed DC in future. I’d give the toys that are too big or useless either to charity or sell on eBay.