Hiding wine from the kids.

[StoppinBy]

A bit of history..... for years I have put up with my judgmental FIL who probably thinks I am the shittiest parent in the world, he is a non drinker and thinks drinkers are also pretty shit and irresponsible people (I didn't realise my husband felt this way too until this morning).

My husband has been telling me for days I need to open my present away from the kids so they don't see it.... my first thought was that it was something from the adult shop which would have sucked in itself but it was actually a bottle of Brown Brothers Moscato, wrapped in a towel rather than in wrapping paper (apparently so I wouldn't recognise the shape). To make it worse this was my only present he got me not including chocolates from the kids.

I rarely drink, can't remember the last time I bought myself a bottle of wine and the bottle of midoori that I have in the cupboard is over 6 months old and over 2/3 full still. My kids (6 and 2) have occasionally seen me have a drink but never drunk (in fact I have been drunk once in the last 3/4 years). A bottle would last me days and I often tip half of it out as it spoils before I drink it.

I feel really hurt and like my husband is judging my drinking in front of the kids as bad parenting, he doesn't understand why I was upset and said he did it because he hopes that our kids will never drink when they are adults so didn't want to show them him giving me the wine.

Am I being way to sensitive or was he out of line to do what he did?

@Santasleftboot how does op sound bonkers?

It sounds like your DHs attitude to alcohol is all from his dad. I’d have a conversation with him about what you’re going to agree about alcohol with your children. I don’t agree that you shouldn’t let children see parents drinking wine but just like your fil my opinion doesn’t matter, the only thing that matters is that you and your DH have a shared approach to it.

I'm so sorry, OP. It's sadly a common tale that the men can be really useless with presents. He's not done well with this, but I imagine it's part and parcel of a general attitude towards you.

Maybe just say you feel sad and a bit hurt by his 'gift', and give him a list of the things that would be ok for him to give you (help him). Eg any jewellery, a voucher. Yes I'd probably just say you only ever want jewellery and it doesn't matter what it is, so long as yes chosen it you will love it.

Yes clearly not up to choosing himself. Oh and tell him to get them to wrap it in the shop!!!

Ask him if he meant you should open it away from
them because he's embarrassed he got you such a terrible present! The whole thing is really weird.

He usually struggles to come up with an idea but means well.

No he doesn't.

@okbutno

Have you actually read any of this thread???

That's so fucking weird. As other posters have said if he's so embarrassed about alcohol why is he buying you some as a Christmas present? Surely he could think of something else you would like!! And I wouldn't class a cheap bottle of wine as a decent present even if it was wrapped properly and given to me in the normal way. Very odd.

You need a conversation with your husband about alcohol. If one thing is certain, expecting your children to become non-drinkers simply because they don't see alcohol at home is never going to work - if anything, the reverse, because it'll acquire the charm of forbidden fruit.

Only in countries, like the UK, where children get the message from family and society that alcohol consumption is necessary to fit in and have a good time.

@Santasleftboot yeah
The fil and husband sound bonkers not the op.