31 Weeks Pregnant. Do I even want this baby?

[Artemis1307]

Hi. I've just hit the 31 week mark in my pregnancy and this feeling hit me today. I'm not sure what's brought it on but I'm questioning why I decided to have a child and if I've made a huge mistake. This is my first baby and I'm worried about how this is baby is going to change my life. He was entirely on purpose and despite what I'm guessing have been normal reservations, me and my partner have been predominantly happy about our current situation. I feel kind of selfish for questioning the decision we made when we decided to have a baby but I just cant seem to stop from wondering how things might be if I hadnt gotten pregnant. Has anyone else felt this way? Did anything help you feel better? Could this just be nerves?

We have found it very very hard and only now DC are aged 4 and 6 are we feeling like we can breathe again. It's very normal to have that surge of 'wtf have we done' and as PP have said that will continue for basically the rest of your life now, so you just need to start embracing that lack of control now, and see it as a positive thing.

For PP wondering why some parents do outline the negatives of parenting, speaking from personal experience, why would I lie about how hard it is? To me that is immoral and if friends have ever asked me what it's like, I ask them if they want me to be truthful otherwise I'm saying nothing.

Too many people painted flowery pictures for us when we asked, so we were totally knocked sideways when the DC arrived as we were quite ill-prepared...!

Just keep talking to people, talk to your partner, your family and your healthcare workers about how you're feeling.

Totally normal. I never really got any of the doubts or pregnancy-induced rages except at night when DH was asleep and I’d lie awake for hours with insomnia, getting more and more furious and plotting DH’s demise! Hormones can really screw you over but just recognise them for what they are and see that they’re (at least partly) causing these feelings. (After all these rages and doubts I found the warm fuzzy immediately-postnatal hormones just delightful and felt like supermama and refused all pain medication . Can’t believe it now)

And now, yes, life is different and often difficult (and I still lie awake sometimes furious while DH snores), but yesterday was the most lovely Christmas with our DS. The returns will be worth it all.

31 weeks here also and we just had the ‘oh my God what have we done’ conversation yesterday Panic descended on me as I was looking at baby clothes and realised I had no idea how am I going to put this tiny little babygrow on this tiny little newborn...how on earth am I going to keep it alive and raise it to be a decent human being and I will never travel again or have nice things etc..Luckily DP pretty quickly explained how ridiculous I was before I could go into a proper hormonal meltdown about it I guess as things change you learn, priorities shift and you adjust. It will all be worth it

I think it's entirely normal. Your life is going to change a lot and even though its exciting, its normal to mourn the loss of your old life even if its things you wont be able to do for a little while.

To be honest I think it's fairly healthy to feel like this than be convinced that your baby is going to make your life perfect in every way - I think if you're in the latter camp then the shit parts of parenting come as a massive shock!

@Pinktornado My OH has been fantastic but that definitely hasnt stopped me from plotting against him as he sleeps. I've spent more than a few moments during this pregnancy staring at him asleep and wanting to slap him square in the face. Always struggled with insomnia, even pre pregnancy so now it just feels even more like a cruel injustice when hes resting blissfully whilst I'm awake with heartburn, a foot in my ribs and a constant need to pee. Asking myself 'why do you get to sleep??'. Its not like I get to ignore our newborn for 9 months once hes out and let my OH do the lions share then. Seems completely unfair, when are we going to figure out a way for the men to carry the babies??

I had this at about 30 weeks with my second. Big age gap from the first and we were just getting to a stage where we were over nappies and getting lie ins again. I just had a horrible, horrible dread about going through the baby stage again. But I did it and survived, instinct kicks in. I think everyone goes through the fear at some point in their pregnancy!

I too had the dread with both of my DDs. I remember sobbing to my husband with a huge pregnancy belly, saying I wasn't ready to be a mum with DD1. With DD2 I panicked that there was no way I'd cope with 2.

But at 5 and 2, I wouldn't swap those little monsters darlings for the world. Yes, there were some horrible times, especially with DD1 but we coped.