Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

So what will you do differently or keep next xmas

172 replies

Cupcakeicecream · 25/12/2019 19:32

I will buy less for extended family stresses thinking I havent given them enough gifts.
Wine cho late for the adults
Give cash to nieces and nephews
Stop sending xmas cards
Wrap in brown parcel paper wrapping paper was rubbish and kept ripping.

OP posts:
malylis · 25/12/2019 22:23

Keep: Sending Dds 1 and 2 with the car to Sainsbury's in the middle if the night on Sunday to do the xmas food shop. Means less clutter and jobs for me to do.

Do differently: get guests who are coming to bring more contributions to the day. SIL did the desert this year and realised I don't have to do it all!

JustaScratch · 25/12/2019 22:27

I would just really like to spend Christmas in my own home. DD is 6 and we moved abroad a few years ago which means that every Christmas since has been spent travelling, visiting alternate grandparents, fitting in with their traditions and their ways of doing things. I would love for us to build our own family traditions and have Christmas in our home.

Tcga745 · 25/12/2019 22:29

Make sure I put an appropriate toy that the kids can play together with in their stockings . 3/4 of my teenage (nearly teenage) children have spent half the day playing with light sabres in their matching Christmas tshirts and they have had such fun. I really couldn’t have imagined how successful this would be!

Spacerader · 25/12/2019 22:31

Keep- most of the dinner was prepped the day before, so there was an hour and half of cooking to do on the day and it was so much better, we got to relax alot more.

Keep- started present shopping very early this year and was finished by the start of December, which lowered the stress levels.

Keep- my parents normally visit around 11/12, but this year they come by earlier, they never stay long but I always find it stressful as we are not close. However, the earlier time worked great as they were gone quicker, so we could get in with relaxing.

Keep - we spent less money on sweets and nibbles.

Keep - we cut down on presents for the DC, and avoided tat as much as possible.

Change - dsc come to visit for a few hours christmas day then come over on boxing day to stay for a few days. Present giving to them on Christmas day is always rushed, and they appear to not appreciate it (I know they do really) as it's been a long day and they have already had loads, so me and dp have decided we need to consider when they get gifts. Maybe one or two christmas day and then prepare a proper 2nd christmas day on boxing day for them where we all can be less rushed and we can really enjoy it all together rather than them quickly opening then having to be driven back home.

Change- buy even less sweets.

Change - make sure I know where I hid the christmas table clothes because I couldn't find them last night.

MomOfTwoGirls2 · 25/12/2019 22:32

No Christmas cards. Been 10 years since I sent any. I received just 4 this year as result, so less recycling also! Result!! Keep!!

Stocking fillers! Oops had small gifts for DDs, but empty stockings for DH and I. oops!! Must do better next year. (was good re bigger presents)

Christmas dinner. It was soooo good (if I say so myself). Will do exactly the same next year. Maybe her more help from DDs re veg prep.

Table setting. DDs did a fab job. They can own this again next year:

We had such a lovely day, just the 4 of us.

Hoping for same again next year!!

YearofMisAdventure · 25/12/2019 22:34

pee made turkey gravey Love a good typo Grin

SisterSistine · 25/12/2019 22:37

I would do it all the same. We had a brilliant day. Spent it at home, rather than visiting wider family. DH cooked dinner. I drank wine. The kids loved their presents. No wider family meant we could do everything the way we wanted and the kids (autistic) weren't overwhelmed by noise and expectations of how they should behave.

We watched some tv together. They played with their toys. We didn't put demands like we must play games or do this or that. We just hung out. And it still felt special and Christmassy.

Shannaratiger · 25/12/2019 22:38

Let the dc's have chicken because they really don't like turkey and DH got stressed and stropped off because they were complaining about being dry and not likeing it. Resulting in Dd complete panic attack and Ds having a complete melt down all lunch time!. Of course all the food actualy cooked nicely and on time!

VestaTilley · 25/12/2019 22:39

I won't make the mistake of buying a supermarket cook from frozen three bird roast (yuck, what was I thinking?!) - in my defence, I have a young baby DS and am still not thinking straight.

I think while he's still tiny we'll do something easier for lunch, as with church and presents we weren't left with much time after doing the cooking. We can have a roast on a different day. It's not something I thought I'd ever do, but that's the thing about Motherhood- you have all these ideas, and the reality is quite something else...

ShinyGiratina · 25/12/2019 22:39

We went out for lunch which was a gamble but worked well. We planned ahead and the DCs got some little retro consoles to keep them happy for the two hours. Particularly for DS1 who had autism. We remembered his ear defenders too. Next year will probably be an at home year due to various family arrangements.

Christmas Eve Christingle service worked well (although we forgot DS1's ear defenders and he struggled a bit) The Christmas Day service is good for the years that we are at home.

Don't get carpets and important furniture fitted within a week of Christmas. Focusing on decorating the house through December and having no mental energy left to decorate the tree is not cool. The house is the least decorated it's ever been, but the DCs are still happy and hopefully I'll have a bit more spirit to be back on form next year.

Overall I've done pretty well on not getting too bogged down in tradirions and tend to play each Christmas out to what suits us. I try to keep focused on buying enough worthwhile presents and not being sucked in to value and quantity. That makes wrapping easier! I do tradtional things because we like them not "just because"

Winner of the year; sternly warning the DCs that stupidly early rising will be interpreted as a sign that DCs are volunteering to run 5k at parkrun. I had no takers Grin

Vesper8 · 25/12/2019 22:39

Not Google the temperature that a Turkey should be cooked at, stick the thermometer in and declare it is another 2 hours off and then realise an hour later that I was reading the temperature in farenheight not Celsius and my Turkey had been at the perfect point to take out!

LadyTiredWinterBottom2 · 25/12/2019 22:44

It was just DH and DC yesterday, today and tomorrow. No stress, no worry, no MIL looking her nose down at the food, no annoying SIL, so much better.

Trying to get DH to say no to presents for extended fam. He felt compelled to buy one rach, six in total for one lot...we got 1 present for the youngest back and it was nice but l think it's c fery . We cent afford to buy the presents anyway and they aren't bothered.

ViveLEntenteCordiale · 25/12/2019 22:47

Won't be ordering meat from my local supermarket. Ordered a rib of beef to roast. Collected Monday (bag was marked up correctly), put in fridge, opened today to find beef in cubes, cunningly packed so it was the same shape as the joint would have been Shock

We had sausages with mash and onion gravy. Beef is going back tomorrow!

fligglepige · 25/12/2019 22:48

Only put my tree up 3 days ago, bought a real one in Homebase for £5, it's very much alive and it is beautiful. I'm very much enjoying its brief visit to my home.

I was pretty chilled this year and enjoyed the day a lot.

EdHelpPls · 25/12/2019 22:52

if it were up to me we’d do something really easy for food and spend the day playing games etc. ( I like the idea someone up-thread said about big meal on Xmas Eve. Think I’ll suggest that.)
I didn’t cook it this year but it was done in my kitchen which looks like a bomb hit it, oven is gross despite being immaculate this morning, and my fridge smells of sprouts.

I’d def host friends on Christmas Eve morning/early afternoon again. I rarely have anyone but family over, but yesterday gave me a real lift and I enjoyed hosting. It worked well for my kids who for various reasons need a quiet space to retreat to.

I’ll put a reminder in the loo for boys to wipe the floor/ back of loo if they need to. I felt v cross about how inconsiderate they were - all 12 and older so no excuse.

I wouldn’t rely so heavily on pre-made food, but kids were sick one after the other in weeks before and I wasn’t able to do much myself. My recycling boxes are overflowing now and I’m feeling v guilty!

Fabric gift bags next year for people who I know will reuse. The paper we have leftover will do the other people a few years.

Tell people I don’t drink. I have about 20 bottles of alcohol but haven’t touched a drop in probably a year, and before that I only ever had maybe two glasses of wine through the year and one glass of mulled wine at Xmas. They’ll find a home I’m sure but I’m a bit embarrassed that people have brought me it thinking I’ll be sitting with feet up later, sipping and relaxing. I’d rather a bottle of nice cordial!

Gift wise for kids, more stuff they can play alone/together without supervision, straight out of pack. I focused too heavily on craft stuff which they couldn’t do as table was occupied and youngest especially needs watching, and most of the games needed adult guidance for first few rounds. Well have loads of time tomorrow to do it all but it felt like I’d put a real dampner on their excitement.

Plan breakfast better. Thought I’d done good this year ( cinnamon rolls and lovely fruit salad) but everyone was hungry shortly after.

Good bits -
no screen time til after dinner.
Just right on gift front
Less dessert options is better
Less drink options is better
No chocolate for my kids. They get loads from elsewhere
Not trying to capture lots of posed photos. Natural captures them best!
Get outside for a good brisk walk.

ColdTattyWaitingForSummer · 25/12/2019 22:54

Not a mistake I made this year, but did in the past..
DON’T drink too much on Christmas Eve! It used to be “tradition” to have a few while doing last minute wrapping, but it was never worth it the next day. I think maybe 4 of the last 5 Christmases I’ve been driving at some point on the day anyway so couldn’t drink, and I don’t really miss it. (Will maybe have a small G&T tomorrow though, while watching call the midwife on catch up.)

OoohTheStatsDontLie · 25/12/2019 23:03

Next year I'll not bother with 5 canapes 6 sides and 3 puddings so when my husband cooks the main, and then later on moans to me that he has been on his feet all day (from that plus clearing up with help from guests), I wont want to punch him in the fucking gave for being a shite bastard

KTCluck · 25/12/2019 23:10

Keep

  • most if lunch prepped the day before
  • minimal present buying for adults
  • annual leave in the week before - got the house blitzed, shopping and wrapping all sorted, a lovely day out with DD and a little bit of me time. I felt so calm in the run up.
  • no starter. Bought desserts. Allowing guests to help out.

Change

  • ask family to buy less for DD next year. They’ve been so generous and they’ve chosen well with no tat, but she’d have been happy with half the amount.
  • do not get roped in to delivering presents for others. What should have been one short outing yesterday snowballed with ‘ooh and I’ve put such and such’s in there too, you’ll be going won’t you’. Well yeah. Before I came here, but as I’m already out in the car and you’re sat on your arse then I suppose I’ll go back 🙄. Three times it happened!
  • buy less cheese. I love it, but I’ve really really gone overboard.
cobwebsoncornices · 25/12/2019 23:14

I was on one of these threads a few years ago and since then have not only reflected myself on what worked & didn't work but, in late January or so when it's fresh in people's minds but enough water has gone under the bridge to mean no one is offended, have asked others for their thoughts too.
I feel as though we've found what works for us. This year has been one of the best as we're at MIL's and it's been really nice not to be the one in charge of everything & DH has loved not doing the cooking. We've got to spend much more time with the children. And I got to curl up with a book for a bit as BIL the fool volunteered to play monopoly with the children.
I also resisted any temptation to buy extras or tat for the DC just because they'd like it or to make the pile better. I realised a couple of weeks ago that DS had one more present than DD. Rather than get DD anything extra, I simply kept back the extra present for DS and will give it to him for his birthday in the summer.

VeryMerryChristmas · 25/12/2019 23:18

We’ve already decided to go away somewhere hot next year and not ‘do’ Christmas. We love it, but need a year off!

squaresandsquares · 25/12/2019 23:24

Brought waaaay less.
But did all last min. Going to get planning in Nov next year

lovelyjubilly · 25/12/2019 23:29

Do again:
Parboil potatoes the night before
Buy pre-prepped honey roasted parsnips
Let the kids have a late night on Xmas Eve
Let the kids eat their bodyweight in chocolate
Use the Capture the Magic app
Have an empty box in the bedroom ready to chuck wrapping paper in

Don't do next time:
Wake the 2yo from her nap for the sake of having her at the table. She didn't eat anything and was miserable.

justdoityourself · 25/12/2019 23:31

Might bin my husband.

motortroll · 25/12/2019 23:37

We're talking about going away. Bored of always hosting! Had a great day but exhausting!!

Handbagsatnoon · 25/12/2019 23:45

Keep the children

Change the location, booking a nice xmas holiday for us. No cooking, no cleanup, no having to drag my DC around to see their dad or nan for 45 mins.