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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To not want to go to bil now!

9 replies

coconutty101 · 25/12/2019 17:31

Xmas with OH family never goes smoothly.

1 week before Xmas, bil invites us for Xmas Dinner, we kindly declined, with health issues watching what we eat, plus with 1 week before Xmas, we had made our own plans and brought most our food in for Xmas Dinner.

Anyway, the plan was that mil and Fil would go to theirs to eat and we would join around 4pm for a few hours before DS1 bedtime.

Last Night OH got a message saying Xmas was off, the only person welcome in his house was Fil, as he was the only person coming without imposing restrictions or rules .

The gist of what j got today, was thst because mil was working and didn't want to go late last night, bil said not to bother coming at all.

Mil came here today to see DS1, so she ended up eating with us as I couldn't see her on her own, even though she's a difficult character!

During the tects today, bil said to OH, we could come, but that's our plans not theirs and that he would 'grin and bare it'.

Just think it's rude.
To add he is 39 with no children, we have DS who's 1. There's a lot of emphasis about 'your family' as in me and DS, yes that is right, we are a family within our own right.
His way or the highway it seems.
So I've refused to go now...
AIBU?

OP posts:
Whatsername177 · 25/12/2019 17:40

I wouldn't go. What is the point?

Gingernaut · 25/12/2019 17:50

YANBU

It doesn't sound like you'd get much of a welcome, even if you came bearing gold bars as gifts.

mbosnz · 25/12/2019 17:52

Leave him to enjoy his tanty.

Raphael34 · 25/12/2019 17:52

What a knob. Don’t go. Did your fil seriously leave your mil to go there??

coconutty101 · 25/12/2019 17:55

Mil and Fil aren't together.. But they have always been very civil.

Were now getting texts from his gf asking why bil was left out, and she didn't understand why the family was divided today.
Morons.

OP posts:
WireBrushAndDettolMaam · 25/12/2019 17:56

Nah I wouldn’t be arsed with that. Don’t give the toddler the attention they clearly want. Let him sulk alone.

TheTrollFairy · 25/12/2019 17:56

I wouldn’t bother going.
You had a valid excuse not to go as you had already made your own plans!

FixItUpChappie · 25/12/2019 18:00

It seems odd you didn't invite him and his gf to your place for Christmas? Why not just host the group if you want to stay home? Too late now obviously but I do think that is weirdly divided.

coconutty101 · 25/12/2019 18:03

Our house is too small, to have 6 adults and a toddler.
Our 4 seater dining table is in our lounge.
We've had a rubbish year with health issues, me and OH were at breaking point a few weeks ago, but managed to work through things.
It was too much pressure to have everyone here, that's why we wanted to stay at home and eat the 3 of us.

It has been horribly divided. And there was no need for it today.

Bil threw his toys out because people didn't want to be at his house all day!

OP posts:
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