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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wish they wouldn't get DD a present?

53 replies

Namechangedfornow7 · 25/12/2019 16:29

DD is 13. Her half siblings are 6 and 7. They are her dad's but not mine.

She sees her dad EW and every other xmas. Every year, her stepmum's parents and aunt always get her a present. She doesn't really know them, they don't really know her, they only see each other at family gatherings. She isn't ungrateful, she knows it's very generous of them but she feels uncomfortable as they aren't really her family and she feels like they feel they have to. She thinks they are worried she will be offended if her siblings have presents and she doesn't, she wouldn't be, they're their family not hers.

She's been texting me as she's at her dad's this Christmas and she mentioned it. She's told me about it before. She's grateful, and said thank you, but it makes her really uncomfortable, especially because the rest of her dad's family keep reminding her that it's so generous of them as they aren't her family, and that they didn't have to, etc. She feels as if she's being made to feel guilty that they get her a present and DD (and I on her behalf) almost wish they wouldn't get her anything.

OP posts:
Namechangedfornow7 · 25/12/2019 21:10

To those asking, no, she doesn't get them a specific present but is always included on the label for her dad and stepmum's present to them. She's 13, she doesn't really buy presents for anyone tbh. I include her in all of mine and I'm pretty sure her father does too. Her half siblings don't buy specific presents but they are a lot younger.

OP posts:
blubberyboo · 25/12/2019 21:34

Her dads family are horrid. The step grandparents seem lovely and it’s obviously important to them that’s she is included. They don’t resent buying her presents otherwise they wouldn’t bother.

Unfortunately there is always a spoilsport with a big mouth and you need to explain to her daddy what they’ve been saying and how it hurts her so that he can have a word
It’s really none of their business anyway if the new wife’s family buys her presents so they should shut up

LionelRitchieStoleMyNotebook · 25/12/2019 21:43

My DHs dad is actually his step father, should be not but presents for our child? His extended family do too. YABU and I'm sure your daughter wouldn't feel uncomfortable unless she knew you don't it

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