Alone at Christmas

[LadyDoc1]

Hi all, can I get some feedback about how I should be feeling? I’m in hospital with infection after a spinal operation, single parent, no partner.
I’m eldest of 3, parents are totally reliant on me financially and for life admin things like dealing with landlord etc.
I got home from hospital on pass today for a few hours, dad drove me home. No food in, thankfully some milk so had festive cereal, Place is a riot as bathroom had serious leak in Nov, my dad has been in and out to let workmen in but not managing any work, I found myself begging the project manager to find a plumber to reconnect the toilet on Monday, just in case I got home.
Anyway, no text over last week from my mother, father unable to find/buy night clothes for me in hospital, no messages from either sister, am I going mad or is that a bit off?
To add to it, apparently I hurt my dads feelings on Wednesday. I then called on Thursday when they told me how serious my infection is (20% die in first 7 days) and he said he wouldn’t come in. I’m alone, completely. I didn’t think this would ever be me, AIBU to expect at least a text from family?

oh Op that sounds awful is there a church or orginisation near enough to you doing a Christmas day lunch for people on their own at least it would be some company and a nice meal xx

Poor you. Please take care.

That's a bit sh*t of them! Yanbu at all, they should show some compassion. Take care XX

I'm so sorry to hear about this but stay strong for your children. People can be thoughtless

I’d go back to hospital.
And the fuck would I be entirely financially supporting that pair of selfish wankers.
Give yourself a Xmas present of freedom from them - let them pay their own way.
Hope you recover quickly!

Merry Christmas I hope the buggers do something nice in the new year for you if not I’d seriously consider new friends

I’m sorry OP, that sounds really hurtful. I hope that you get better soon x

I just can’t believe it. Dad is helpful with my son, takes him to school etc because I’ve been very disabled since May and before my op couldn’t walk more than 20 metres even with a stick (I’m 40)
I can hardly stand to look at him, thinking about when I came back from having an iv line placed under my arm that goes directly in to my heart, I’d missed lunch and had 2 bits of white bread because there was nobody to bring me anything in. How could anyone abandon their child like that? I’m so hurt and disappointed

Family aren't always your friend. In elder years my dad has turned into a selfish its all about me bastard. My mum thinks the eorld revolves around her only. I'm low contact as can't be asked with it.

Go back to hospital OP. Get well soon. When you're better I hope you can actively find/join new social outlets.

Stop doing so much for your parents. They've had their time. Look out for yourself let them bloody moan. Your sisters can look out for them and you can stop martyring yourself for people who aren't worth it

Blinking heck lass.

If I knew where you were I'd plate up lunch and bring it to you.

Hope you feel & get better soon. How old is your child? I think I would head back to hospital. You really need to take care of yourself just now. Make next Christmas the best ever.

He’s 10, we’ve been apart 2 weeks so it was wonderful to see him again today. First week he was on holiday with his dad and last my ex didn’t want to bring him to the hospital. Being separated for so long was really difficult, I’d been told I would be home yesterday but from what I can gather the team didn’t fill out the correct paperwork.
I’m totally scunnered (Glasgow word!) but I suppose it’s been an experience that has shown me who I can rely on

Back on the ward, nurse pointed something out. My parents didn’t buy my son a present. First grandchild. Wow

Handhold!

OMG! I can hardly believe that any family could treat a child/sibling this badly, at any time of year, let alone at Christmas! I do hope you get better and are soon back on your feet. Then when you are, tell you're shit parents you'll be doing nothing further for them either financially or in any other way, and devote your life to taking care of yourself and your son. I really feel for you and only wish I could do something to help you feel better, but rest assured, there are decent people around, you just have to find them, so forget taking care of your parents, and get out there and make new friends.

Wishing you a VERY speedy recovery, and what's left of a Merry Christmas, and a far happier and healthier New Year.

Where are you Op? Maybe someone on MN is local?
I'd be happy to help.

Well it looks like they'll be doing their own life admin and looking after their own finances in future, doesn't it?

And OP, if not, you really need to look deep into yourself and ask why not.

I’m in Glasgow. Not sure if I’ll get my son tomorrow, I’ll get out for a few hours on pass again. I wish I could just sleep and sleep and get this week through.
I just can’t imagine being in their company again, it’s never been particularly easy as we had a very distant and cold upbringing, I didn’t think they’d ever be quite so cruel though
My father has my flat keys which will be a bit of a hurdle, but hopefully I’ll spend some time with my kittens tomorrow and enjoy some cuddles

It sounds like time to cut them off completely. Financially, practically - everything.

You didn't deserve that.

I'd start treating them exactly as they treat you.

Sorry to hear of your struggles, OP..you deserve to be supported - what shit family. :(

Thought I’d update, also wanted to say thank you so much for kind words and thoughts.
Don’t get anything except SSP so went back to work ASAP.
Ended up having emergency surgery when abroad for work and airlifted home after by work insurance. I could have ended up paralysed from waist down, doubly incontinent. The surgeons were fantastic and I’m so thankful in a paradoxical way that it happened when I was away, even despite language barrier for pain meds and different medical protocols. They did a brilliant job (3rd time in cannot be straightforward!)
After some firm talk from me, parents have put a bit more effort in, but I’m being nursed flat, district nurse daily to give anti blood clot meds as I’m high risk.
Went back in to hospital here as unrelenting temp of 39 for 2 days and I had RSV (yes, the virus that goes for babies)
Found a great carer but she’s self isolating due to COVID symptoms, reliant on Dad again.
Quite plainly, it feels like torture.
Anyone know of any websites that give advice on coping with this kind of thing? Before, I was the strong one and it’s quite the mind-f*ck to come to terms with how things are now x

Goodness you’ve been through the mill. Sending you all the best and hoping someone will come along with the information you need soon. Thinking of you.