To be annoyed DS dad hasnt turned up

[AlrightyyThen]

DS is 3 and doesn’t like to go his dads so actually he’s happy where he is

but I still think it’s disgraceful to not turn up for your child on Xmas day. I haven’t even made a dinner for us because there was only going to be me in the house

He’s always hours and hours late, the reason being he works 2 night shifts in a row once a fortnight so he says his sleeping pattern is messed up and he needs to sleep all day. The day after a nightshift finishing at 6am (this morning) he would normally get DS about 5pm so he can sleep until then but as it was Xmas he was going to come at 12 “ish” and take him to his families for Xmas dinner

I assume he’s still asleep, AIBU that he should pick DS up when he says he will (opinions from night shift workers would be fab! - non strenuous screen monitoring)

You are absolutely NBU but sounds as if he was always going to let DS down. Will they go ahead and have Christmas dinner without them?

I hope he turns up soon. Or perhaps not if DS doesn’t even like it.

Yes they’ve probably had their dinner by now I’m hoping they’ve saved a plate for DS His family is lovely and DS would have a nice time there he just hates his dad taking him (probably because it’s so inconsistent)

Have an eat anything day. Honestly.

There's me and my 6yo DD. I cooked an Xmas dinner. She ate the veg but left everything else. She's just too excited to play with everything. I wouldn't worry about the lack of dinner for him as such.

With regards to your ex he sounds like a right twat though. :( your poor DS. Will he eventually turn up?

You are not being unreasonable, my DH works night shifts and it does mess with your sleep habits but he should never have made those arrangements if he knew he would’ve coming off from a night shift.

I work 2 night shifts a week. Get 3 hours sleep the following day then an early night and decent sleep the following night and that does me fine.

YANBU to expect him to put the extra effort in Christmas Day. But don’t underestimate how much shift work can mess with your body clock - not that I wish to make excuses

Hopefully he will turn up but who knows, he’s had like 9-10 hours of sleep now and it’s somehow still not enough

Still not turned up? Fucking hell that's shit.

Yes it does mess with your body clock. My ex would get in at 6am and sleep till about 3pm, but I do remember days were he would sleep till about 5pm if everyone managed to keep tip toeing around.
That said, even when he had done a night shift he kept to the times arranged to pick up his son, sometimes half an hour late at the most. He hated the thought of his son knowingly waiting for him.

I work nights, this isn't about nights, its about jerking around a child and his mother.

Personally I'm horrible in the day time on nights and until the morning after. However if I promised to be around a kid on christmas, I would have made a big effort and kept it.