To just want to cancel Christmas this year?

[TwoBayBoys]

Heavily pregnant. Hosting Christmas for overbearing in laws who, on most occasions I can tolerate, but feel like I don't have the energy to deal with right now.
Had a huge argument with DH last night and Christmas Eve was completely ruined, sleeping separately and some awful things have been said by us both. I feel too upset to even want to try and talk things through.
I've specifically asked in laws not to arrive before 1pm but willing to bet they'll be here before 10am, grumpy if Christmas dinner isn't served when they want it (my family eat late-ish around 4pm, they like to eat at 12pm on the dot - I've compromised and said 2pm). MIL will push around her plate anyway as she refuses to eat anything that isn't unseasoned, overboiled veg.
I've not slept all night and I genuinely don't have the stamina to cope with their well meant but frankly interfering comments and non stop idle gossip.
DH and I will undoubtedly argue again because I'm overtired and will probably snap.
I feel resentful because my lovely DM is hosting a huge Christmas for my (large) family... I'm too pregnant to travel that far.

I have absolutely no idea how to get through today.

Sounds tough OP. Being pregnant was hell for me especially in the late stages. My youngest is 6 and I still count my blessings every day that I'm not pregnant or ever will be again! Both my babies were very much wanted and loved but pregnancy was horrible.

You have already bent over backwards to accommodate your ILs and they should be bloody grateful you are hosting.

Make sure DH does the washing up and you can put your feet up with a cuppa. If the chat gets too much just say 'I'm going for a rest now' and go upstairs for an hour.

Good luck x

Oh @TwoBayBoys I really feel for you. Take a deep breath. It will be ok. It’s just one day. Break the day into two hour chunks and that will make it easier. It sounds like you know what to expect from the in-laws so I know it’s hard but I would literally just ignore their knob-jockey behaviour. It’s your home. You’re in charge. Good luck!

Let go of the resentment re missing your own family’s Christmas, it’s nobody’s fault and can’t be helped.

As for today - do you have dc? Make them the focus if so and smile through the rest.

If not, I’d probably go back to bed if anyone starts behaving badly and leave them to get on with it themselves. Being heavily pregnant is the Percy excuse for that.

Good luck. In laws can be the absolute worst. Hope your dh steps up, or that’s another thread right there.

*perfect. Who’s Percy??

Thank you @Bluewavescrashing that's exactly how I feel. I'm so very grateful to be pregnant but it's been a long and horrible one. It sounds so selfish but if I can't have my family, I don't want anyone around me.

I offered to host Christmas here for the exact reason that I can slip away for an hour if I need to recharge. We spent Christmas there 2 years ago and whilst I appreciate each family have their own traditions, their Christmas is a hundred miles from the wonderful Christmas's my family have and it makes me so sad.

Thank you @Chefwifelife

No DC Eff, I'm pregnant with DC1, which is a bone of contempt already as next Christmas we plan to stay with my family and in laws have already complained that they won't see DD on her first Christmas (despite having 4 other grandchildren who, guess what, they're not seeing over the next few days).

Bless you OP. Both my DD are mid January babies (sadly not twins! So I've endured 2 heavily pregnant Christmases in recent years)

Thankfully I was at my folks (20 minute walk away) for one of them and at home (just me, DP and older 2 kids) for the other.

I would suggest that you defuse the situation with you partner. Tell him you don't want to argue today / want to move on / make the best of the day.

Get everyone to help you prep and then take yourself off to bed after dinner and leave your partner and inlaws to wash up and tidy etc.

This time in 12 hours you'll be golden.

That sounds rough. In your circumstances I would say I’m unwell , stay in bed and let everyone crack on with things - they are all adults and you are sleep deprived and heavily pregnant.

Take to your bed. You are too tired. Everyone can work around you... Just turn up for the food and then retire back to bed.

@TwoBayBoys
Sorry to hear that you are not feeling well and had a fall out with your DH just on Christmas Eve.
I cannot give you any wise advice, just wanted to say that you CAN do it.
You already know that you might get snappy. Do you have any secret coping mechanism like a cup of chamomile tea with 🍯 honey or a big piece of cake?

It will be hard but I found the best weapon against nastiness IS kindness - especially when it’s hard.
Positive thoughts