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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Separate piles of presents or random under the tree?

49 replies

Iheartdonuts · 25/12/2019 00:50

I prefer random under the tree with me handing them out for kids to open in turn and they see who gifts are from. Kids are really well behaved and ooh and ahhh and patiently wait their random turn.

DP prefers separate piles around the living room so kids run in, open all at the same time...no one knows who the gift is from...

I say if separate they will be disappointed before they've even started opening them if their pile is smaller.

Fyi we have a couple of kids each and this is our first Christmas together. He's always done it his way. I've always done it my way. Kids are mid teens to primary age.

OP posts:

Iggypoppie · 25/12/2019 00:53

We've always did separate piles but made sure they looked roughly equal, although this can be tricky with older kids who might have small higher value items.

Regardless of how you do it the kids will be able to see what each other has and will compare, consciously or unconsciously.

TheMobileSiteMadeMeSignup · 25/12/2019 00:54

Waiting turns to open presents sounds so regimented and controlled. We had a bundle each, my sister and I, varying amounts of presents because we were different ages so I would sometimes get fewer presents but that cost more while she got lots of small things.

Neither of you are wrong but could you maybe blend your ways so say 3 presents under the tree for each person they can rush down and open then bring out the rest and hand out?

thaegumathteth · 25/12/2019 00:55

Stockings are separate (obviously) but then under the tree all the presents are all mixed up although not entirely random because I try and make sure one kid isn't left with none by the time we get to the back of the tree for example!

Iggypoppie · 25/12/2019 00:55

But either way is fine, it's just a matter of preference.

katewhinesalot · 25/12/2019 00:55

We had piles but from quite a young age the kids were happy to take it in turns.

Swinesinsleepingbags · 25/12/2019 00:55

Your dh plan is very similar to my idea of hell.

DramaAlpaca · 25/12/2019 00:55

A pillowcase full of wrapped presents for each person here, and we take our time opening them.

Sounds like you need to either compromise or work out a new tradition for your blended family.

NearlyGranny · 25/12/2019 01:00

Orgies are never good for people in the long run!

My DH's family had the same shark feeding frenzy as your DH's; I was from a take it in turns and enjoy everyone else's presents, too family.

I won and everybody was happy. 😉

BillHadersNewWife · 25/12/2019 01:02

I say if separate they will be disappointed before they've even started opening them if their pile is smaller.

But surely they realise if one has more anyway because you won't be handing them any gifts anymore.

Emeraldshamrock · 25/12/2019 01:04

If they are separate there is no room for error. You only need one label to get lost and stuck on the wrong gift especially if it is a new time for everyone.
I've only 2 DC. It is my first year to wrap as it is a smaller amount and will add to the excitement, I used two different rolls so no mistake.

Emeraldshamrock · 25/12/2019 01:05

Take turns but divided.

surlycurly · 25/12/2019 01:07

'Santa' presents can be opened at will and the kids didn't have to take their time with them. Gifts from other people were more carefully and consciously opened as I used to write a list of who gave what so we'd know for the thank you cards.

Jollitwiglet · 25/12/2019 01:07

If they just run in and open them all without knowing who it's from, how will they be able to thank the appropriate person?

Do they have presents from santa? If so could you compromise and they all open their santa presents at the same time as your husband usually does it, then the other gifts do it your way?

DiscardedTool · 25/12/2019 01:12

We do seperate piles and random gifted from friends ones under the tree

Pixxie7 · 25/12/2019 01:12

I think it’s perfectly acceptable for older kids but surely it’s nicer for the little ones to have a frenzy.

MiniEggAddiction · 25/12/2019 02:03

Random is definitely better, even the little ones like it to be a bit more drawn out!

ButterflyBook · 25/12/2019 02:10

Piled up randomly under the tree. It's the only way. Having separate piles to start off with is a mistake. One is going to be the biggest and one the smallest no matter the value.

Beautiful3 · 25/12/2019 03:02

We have big red santa sacks filled with presents. I dont need to label any presents for the kids, just one tag on each sack. Its easier that way.

Timberoo · 25/12/2019 03:05

I always feel Santa would have scattered them randomly in a hurry ;) I know he always overfilled our stockings so that they fell down!

fligglepige · 25/12/2019 03:10

If you're from a 'leaping on your pile of presents in a frenzy' family you will really, really resent the person who forces you to sit and grin through watching everyone else open their presents one by one and ooh and aah etc.

BiblioX · 25/12/2019 04:54

I do it your way and so did my parents. I have lovely memories of the anticipation and I also loved properly seeing what everyone else got and their reaction etc. It makes it all last. I once as a teen had Christmas in a house that does what your DP does, I found it all so rushed and almost greedy/uncaring. I know that’s just me but I did.

I would say whoever’s house it is sets the tone maybe? Or who is doing the cooking!?

MereDintofPandiculation · 25/12/2019 04:59

Presents arrive at random as soon as they're wrapped, so the pile gets larger over the last 2 weeks before Christmas. Then children of the family sort presents into piles next to where each person will be sitting, while adults clear table in peace (we open presents after dinner). We don't have a blended family, so children's piles are similar size, so that's one problem we don't have to deal with.

SexlessBoulderBelly · 25/12/2019 05:06

We had Father Christmas presents in separate piles by the fire place. Then after we had opened those we would sit down on the sofa and mum would bring us our presents from people under the tree, we almost naturally waited until everyone had found a comfy spot and they’d all been handed out before we opened them together. They were mostly tagged so we knew who they were from but if we didn’t there was the occasional “is this one from you mum?” Or “Who is this one from?”

Loved Christmas as a kid it was always absolutely magic and now I’m older and have my first baby on the way next week I am in awe of how magical my mum and dad made it for us.

Purpleartichoke · 25/12/2019 05:23

Random under tree. Take turns opening, with some planning or grouping of smaller gifts so that the turns are even or close to even.

Juanbablo · 25/12/2019 05:41

Ours are just random under the tree as they are added as and when they arrive or are wrapped. Usually we task a child with handing them out. When I was a kid I was the "Christmas fairy" and had to wear a white fairy outfit and hand out all the presents. Bit weird, never heard of anyone else doing it and I haven't continued it with my children.

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